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Stores Jokes

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The wives and husbands stores

There's a store somewhere in a small town that advertises selling ready-to-go husbands for women who wish to settle down. One day a woman walks in looking for a husband.

As she walks in, she sees a sign that says "Welcome to Husbands 'R Us! This store has 6 floors. On each floor you will fin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man stores his money in a bank

A well looking man is at the bank and wants to deposit 100,000$, the bank manager gets closer to him and says:

"I have notice that you deposit huge amounts of cash every few days, is it OK if I ask, where to do find the money?"

"I'm betting" says the man

"what kind of betting?"<...

ALDI grocery stores have announced their new store brand peanuts.

ALDI’s nuts

There are no Walmart stores in Syria

Only Targets.

A woman walks into a firearms store

Shop Keeper: How can I help you?

Woman: Sir, I need a gun so I can shoot my husband

Shop Keeper: there is no way in hell I am selling you a gun for that. That is just so wrong. I’m gonna go to jail if I do! Now get out!

The woman shows him a picture of her husband in bed with th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

And nun walks into a liquor store

So, a nun walks into a liquor store and asks the guy behind the counter for a fifth of vodka.

The guy thinks a minute, and says, “Sister, I can’t sell you booze. You’re a nun!”

The nun giggles nervously and says, “Oh, it’s not for me. It’s for Mother Superior.” Then she leans forward a...

Why are there no Walmart stores in Afghanistan?

Because there's a target on every corner

The Husband Store

So a new store opened up in town where women can go and find the love of their lives. There are some rules though:

1. You can only shop once. Ever.
2. The quality of the 'merchandise' increases as you go up a floor (there are 6 floors total)
3. You can choose any product from any floor,...

Once you’ve seen a thousand stores under one roof…

You’ve seen theMall

I saw a lady in tears at the store

She said she had lost an envelope with her tax refund inside. I gave her 100$ because I had just found about $1600 in the parking lot.
#payitforward

Which stores sell dead batteries?

None, they give them away free of charge.

Shredded cheese has officially been banned in grocery stores in the US.

Trump will make America grate again.

Lock down isn't so bad if all the stores close.

My dad will finally have to come back from getting cigarettes, he has been gone since 1983.

The feud between the two clothing stores down the street finally came to an end.



It ended in a tie.

Where do toy stores keep their Schwarzenegger action figures?

Aisle B, back.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to one of those big "everything under one roof" stores looking for a job.

A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to one of those big "everything under one roof" stores looking for a job.

The manager asked, "Do you have any sales experience?"

The kid said, "Sure, I was a salesman back home in Texas."

The boss liked the kid so he gave him t...

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