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Stools Jokes

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A man sees a pirate sitting a few bar stools down from him...

... the pirate has a wooden leg, a hook for a hand, and an eye patch like a steroetypical pirate. The man is super curious but he simply nods hello and turns back to his beer. After another pint he summons the courage to turn and ask, "If you don't mind me asking, how did you get the wooden leg?"...

Why do cow-milking stools only have three legs?

The cow’s got the udder.

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The local furniture store sells stools

I checked out one of their samples and I was unimpressed. It looked like a .

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I asked my wife to get us some nice stools.

But the ones she picked up were .

My rear end was sore from sitting on the bar stools at my local pub.

So, I've been taking stool softener, but those stools still seem just as hard to me.

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Why do stools break easily?

Because they're .

Stools make terrible friends

They never have your back or offer any support when you need it

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I met a guy who's a carpenter, he told me he makes stools.

'Me too' I says 'but they're all '

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I did my presentation on stools,

got a mark.

A man and a dog walk into a bar

Both get up on stools and the bartender says "sorry no dogs"

"But my dog can talk"

Bartender: "Prove it"

"Fido, what is the top part of a house called"

Dog: "Roof, roof"

Bartender (annoyed): "You're going to have to do better than that"

"Fido, what is the hi...
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