UPJOKE
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A snake, a rock, and Steven Hawking walk into a bar...

The bartender says "how the fuck did yalls do that?"

What's the worst christmas gift you could give to Steven Hawking?

A Walkie-Talkie.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I played golf with Steven Hawking

He was shit. He lied about his handicap.

How does Steven Hawking refresh after a long work day?

F5

(sorry Imgoingtohellforthis)
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What was Steven Hawking’s last words?

<The windows xp log out sound >
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Steven Hawking came back from his first date in 10 years. His Glasses were smashed, he had a broken wrist, twisted ankle and grazed knees.

Apparently she stood him up.
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I keep getting Tony Hawk and Steven Hawking confused.

I mean, they both liked ramps
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What if Steven Hawking...

What if Steven Hawking is the real Slim shady, but we don't know because he cant stand up.
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It’s a shame that Steven Hawking died

He’s been on a roll since age 21.
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Why isn’t Steven Hawking in heaven?

He’s still uploading to the cloud
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What kind of health insurance does Steven Hawking have?

AVG Antivirus
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Teacher asks students for their favourite stand up comedians

Students start naming their favourite comedians.

Then one kid says : Joe Biden.

Another kid follows with : Donald Trump.

Political debate starts. When the teacher finaly quiets down the class there is only the person who didn't say who their favourite is, is the quiet kid.
...
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Everyone thinks it's crazy that Jesus walked on water...

But no one ever mentions that Steven Hawking ran on batteries.
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Calling someone an “Einstein” is overrated.

Whenever someone acts smart around me, I just say, “Wow, you’re like a walking, talking, Steven Hawking.”
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What's black, hot, and sits at the top of the stairs?

Steven hawking after a house fire.
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I'm sorry

In 2013 Steven Hawking said God didn't exist

In 2018 God said Steven Hawking didn't exist
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Name a girl who pleasures herself with a vegetable?

Steven Hawking's wife
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Apparently more intelligent people tend to be less violent.

This is proven when you look at great modern scientists.

I bet you that no one has ever seen Steven Hawking slap someone.
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