UPJOKE
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What do you call a tangled rope on International Space Station?

Astroknot

What did one space station say to the other?

You know what? I don’t like your attitude.

They developed a toilet for the space station for two reasons:

Number one, and, of course, number two.

Two Astronauts are chilling on the space station when one turns to the other and says, "I can't find any milk for my coffee."

The second astronaut replies, "In space no one can, here use cream."

What do visitors to the International Space Station have to do before boarding?

Pay the parking meteor.

Why has no electrician ever gone to the International Space Station?

They don't think it's safe. None of the wiring runs to ground.

I read a book on the International Space Station.

I couldn’t put it down.

Why were cosmonauts on the Russian space station always bumping into things?

Because objects in Mir are closer than they appear.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My dick used be visible from the Space Station

But NASA told me to stop tweeting dick pics at its astronauts

The Trump administration is like the International Space Station

They're in constant free fall, and they needed Russia's help to get there

Why are there so many fat astronauts on the International Space Station?

Because the food is out of this world.

Why did the cow jump over the International Space Station?

The decline in our rocketry capability means it couldn't jump over the Moon.

NASA had a supply of rib eye on the last flight to the international space station to see how meat cooked in space. They called it their most important mission.

Because the steaks were never higher.

What sound did the Chinese space station make as it broke apart?

Bang Ding Ow

Why is there no gang violence on the space station?

Because it is a zero G environment.

How do they tie things down on the space station?

They use astro knots.

The leaders of Russia, North Korea and the United States fly up to the international space station...

Upon their arrival, they all marvel at the view of the earth from such magnificent heights. They begin to toss around ideas of ways they could all benefit from the ISS.

The Russian leader talks about all of the opportunities to use imaging to spy on people from outerspace. The other leaders ...

Astronaut Anne McClain was accused of identity theft and accessing private finance records while onboard the International Space Station....

I'm not sure what the gravity of situation is, but how off earth did she find the space to pull that off.

An astronaut scheduled for a launch to the space station thought the world was starting to get too chaotic, so he brought a computer keyboard with him on his trip

Now everything is back under control.

^^^^^I'm ^^^^^sorry.

What’s less than 150 meters and manmade, but can still be seen from space?

The international space station.

I punched a hole in my office wall today.

Don't understand why everyone else at the international space station is freaking out.

Astronauts release a photo of Hurricane Harvey...

Astronauts released a photo of Hurricane Harvey as seen from the the International Space Station. They sent a short message along with the photograph; "Houston, you have a problem."

There's been a horrible accident!

A recent space launch attempting to carry astronaut Sergey Reeses to the International Space Station exploded catastrophically shortly after launch.


The understandably distraught widow has asked that everyone in the area keep an eye out for Reese's pieces.

Cannot get milk for my coffee, in space.

Once their Crew Dragon craft made it to safely to space, and they were headed toward the International Space Station, Bob Behnken completed some reports and then decided to have a cup of coffee. Well, a pouch of coffee anyway. Still, it was coffee, and thanks to SpaceX's desire to make space trave...

John was an Astronaut...

John was an astronaut scheduled to fly on his first mission to the International Space Station. The media frenzy surrounding the launch was maddening. Everywhere John went, the media followed him.

He would part the curtains at his home in the morning, and the media was out there peering in, t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Heroic Homeless Man

It’s December 2012, and Christmas is fast approaching. The snow is on the trees, gifts are being bought, and the lake in Central Park is frozen over. Children and the stents are skiing on the ice, having a great time. However suddenly, a little girl falls through the ice. Luckily, a nearby homeless ...

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