UPJOKE
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What’s the difference between a casual dress party and an orgy with pirates?

One, you come as you are, and the other, you “arrr” as you cum!

What do you call a redneck orgy?

A family reunion.

What is considered the polite way to end an orgy?

Thank everyone for coming!

Yeah, it’s an orgy but we still have rules!

Come on people!

You heard what the Norse God of Thunder said to the girl after the orgy?

He said, “Hi, I’m Thor.”

She replied, “You’re thor? I’m tho thor I could hardly pith.”

You guys hear about the orgy?

Everyone came

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Have you heard about the orgy at the campground?

It’s fucking in tents.

What do you call an orgy involving famous musicians?

A release party.

What’s the policy for the buffet at the orgy?

First Come First Serve.

The only problem with having an orgy is,

you don’t know who to thank afterwards..

- The late great Rodney Dangerfield..

What can you say both at an orgy and while apologizing?

I think we got off on the wrong foot.

You are cordially invited to an orgy!

No need to RSVP. Everyone who isn’t coming is going.

I hosted a terrible orgy last weekend

Nobody came

A mathematician's son asks him:" dad, what is an orgy?"

The Mathematician replies:" 230 divided by 3.3."

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What would one of the Beatles say during an orgy?

Cum together, right now, over me.

If a job interviewer asks about a time you worked as part of a team...

Don't tell them about the orgy.

TIFU by taking my girlfriend to a food themed costume orgy.

Obligatory didn't happen today, but a few weeks ago, me and my girlfriend decided to spice up our relationship by going to an orgy. A mutual friend of ours gave us the adress, and told us to wear costumes. I was broccoli, my girlfriend was a tomato.

When we arrived, the door was unlocked. Th...

A woman in her forties tells her doctor, “My husband has completely lost interest in me”.

He gives her a bottle of drops, and tells her: “Put three drops in his dinner, no more, no less”.

She then goes home and makes dumplings. Right before the time he usually gets home from work, she puts three drops in, but then remembers how apathetic he is, and goes for the whole bottle.
...

Explaining a joke is a bit like an STD at an orgy

Generally everyone gets it in the end but it’s not really funny

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Did you hear about the orgy at the circus?

It was fucking intense.

The devil is surprised one day to find a habitual liar, a pervert, an idiot and a man in a wheelchair entering hell.

Still, he keeps his professional demeanor and extends a warm welcome saying, "Greetings, Representative Cawthorn. You're just in time, the daily GOP cocaine orgy is just beginning."

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Did you hear about the 35 people that caught COVID at an orgy?

It was a real cluster fuck...

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What do you call an overly complicated orgy at a monastery?

A cloister fuck.

What do you call an orgy during a pandemic?

A super spreader event.

Why can’t a pirate go to a orgy?

Because he wants all the booty for himself

I tried to throw a big orgy last night, but It was a bit of a disappointment

nobody came

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Ever been to a turkey orgy? #NSFW

A cluck’n’fuck

I thought about attending an orgy

But if I wanted to disappoint many people at once, I could just repost this joke on Reddit...

Having a duck orgy at my house...

If anyone wants to come on down.

My friends forced me into their orgy last night.

I succumbed to peer pleasure.

My first orgy was an experience to remember. I expected to it to be full of awkwardness and disappointment.

But thankfully all my cousins were really supportive.

One night, I did an insane amount of drugs and ended up at the bottom of a multi-species orgy.

I don't know what came over me.

What do you call a physicist orgy?

The Big Bang

I had an orgy with the Disney princesses

and one of them gave me crabs

What do you call a bunch of chinese bears at an orgy?

A pandemonium.

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I'm going to throw a pirate orgy.

It's cum as you arrrr.

Why did the blind guy not go to the orgy?

He had no idea who would be coming.

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What does Optimus Prime say when it is time to leave the orgy?

"Autobots, PULL OUT!"

My friend was bragging in a bar about having an orgy at school when he was younger.

It would have been pretty cool, but we knew he was homeschooled.

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What do you call a couple of Doppelgängers having a sex orgy?

Doppelgängerbangers

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What do you call a bunch of ugly people in a flying car having an orgy because they feel sorry for each other?

A shitty pity gang bang

NSFW My friend invited me to a orgy

I asked "how many people are going to be there?"

He said " Three if you invite your girlfriend!!"

If you throw a bad orgy...

people won't want to come anymore.

Planning a dinner party in 2020 is like planning an orgy.

It's taboo, risks spreading disease, and you gotta know the people you invite will be into it.

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I had to change the date for my orgy, and everyone was pissed.

It's really hard getting 20 people to come together.

My friend went to an orgy for people born in July

Now she's telling me she came home with crabs

The Houses of Parliament is like an orgy.

A lot of pricks standing around desperate to get attention.

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My best friend invited me to an orgy camp

It was fucking in tents!

A worm crawls out of a pile of spaghetti….

It says, “Damn, that was one hell of an orgy!”

I didn’t know what an orgy was so I decided to do a bunch of research.

It’s all coming together.

Where’s the best place to be at a Heroin Orgy?

Smack bang in the middle of all of it!

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You hear about the guy who walked into a camel orgy?

He went to the store for a fuckin’ pack of Camels, after all

I was in an orgy last year

It was strange, but my family has always had weird thanksgivings

What do you call an orgy with people that have Gonorrhea?

A round of applause.

A woman was having an orgy with 3 army men, then she heard her husband coming in the house...

She frantically told the 3 guys to gather all their uniforms and hide in the balcony, and they did. The husband greeted her and didn't suspect a thing. She tried to distract him from going to the balcony but then he became adamant about grilling since it was so nice outside. He opened the balcony do...

Going to an orgy in the South is a lot like going to Olive Garden

When you’re there you’re family.

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Peanuts

Did you hear that Planter’s Mr. Peanut hosted an orgy and it got out of control?


It was fucking nuts.

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For the longest time I refused to attend PTA meetings because I couldn't stand the fact that each one ended with an orgy.

But eventually, I had to come on principal.

How do you decide who was the best in an orgy

A general erection

I’m going to start hosting Christmas orgys

It’s a time when we should all come together

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What do you call 1000 couples having an orgy?

A metric fuck ton.

What do you say when everyone goes home after an orgy?

Thanks for coming everybody!

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I went to a cannibal orgy the other day

It was first cum first served

Did you boys ever hear of the planet where the inhabitants were mobile flowers?

Remarkably similar to Earthly blossoms, but they had feet and human intelligence.

The whole planet was ruled by a king called Richard the Artichoke-Heart, and one day at a court orgy his eye was caught by Fuchsia, a pale-eyed perennial. Her beauty was so great it almost made up for her stupi...

We should have an orgy with all the Dr. Seuss characters

Whos with me

What’s the opposite of an orgy?

A Reddit meet-up

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A man goes to hell...

A man dies and goes to the hell. As usual, he gets a tour from the devil to know, where he actually came to.

They visit a first room with many tables and people are playing all the card games in a big style.
The man asks, what is going on and the devil explains: "Those are people, who got ...

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I thought the campsite orgy was going to be kind of boring...

But it turned out to be fucking in tents.

How does a ghost orgy end?

With a Boo!kake

It Was All Fun And Games At The ISIS Orgy

That was until someone blew their load.

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My first orgy was like my first baseball game...

'Cept there were loads more balls and somehow more family members came.

The Norse gods are sleeping off an orgy...

The God of Thunder turns to the young woman next to him and says, “I am Thor!”

The gal looks up through sleepy eyes and replies, “You think you’re Thor! I’m tho Thor I can barely pith!

(Kinda an aural joke. If you could say it out loud it might work better.)

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My friend died at an orgy the other day and nobody knows why.

It's a fucking mystery.

Attempt to set world record orgy falls short of its goal ...

"Not enough people came" - Stephen Colbert

I’ve never been in an orgy but

I feel like it’d be like what happens when I try and play pick-up basketball. Like, no one passes me the ball; everyone asks me to keep my shirt on.

I opened my son's bedroom door and there was an orgy happening. I was livid.

That they noticed me standing there so soon...

What do you call a slimy, Pokemon orgy?

A Mukbang.

If 5 slaves had an orgy in the 1800's. . .

Would it be considered a three-way?

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[nsfw] did you guys hear about the great Native American orgy?

It was fucking intents!

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