If the Pilgrims were still alive today, what would they be famous for?

Being alive!!! They'd be over 400 years old!

According to an article on r/worldnews, pilgrims to Mecca will need to be COVID-vaccinated before they arrive.

I guess this means... hijab?

What did the Pilgrims call the turkeys that were hard to catch?

Fast Food

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?

Pilgrims.

Why did the Pilgrims spend their first Thanksgiving eating outside with the Indians?

They didn't have reservations

A mathematician walks into a bar on a rainy April day...

The bartender asks him, "Hey, do you know what April showers bring?"

The mathematician says, "Pilgrims!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Imagine if the Indians gave the pilgrims a donkey...

Then we'd all get a little ass for thanksgiving.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If the Pilgrims had hunted a wildcat instead of a turkey

We'd all be having pussy for thanksgiving instead!

If it keeps raining, we'll have an invasion of Pilgrims.

April showers bring Mayflowers.

In April of 1620, it rained. That same year, the Pilgrims arrived.

I suppose the saying is true. April showers bring Mayflowers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So these three blondes die trying to jump the Grand Canyon...

Fortunately for them, they were all Christians, so they went straight up to Heaven and met Saint Peter at the gate. He put down his newspaper and greeted the women with a smile. "Alright ladies, I have no problem letting you into Heaven, but you need to answer me one simple question- what is Easte...

Enrique Peña Nieto, Malala Yousafzai, and Donald Trump are walking along a beach

It's a bit of an oldie, and I think the last time I heard it, it came off as pretty racist. But I think the current political climate allows me to rehash it better.

Enrique Peña Nieto, who is the Mexican President, is walking along the beach one day with the US President, Donald Trump, and p...

To commemorate the disaster in Mecca where a crane fell and crushed pilgrims, Saudi Arabia will build a restaurant at the site.

An IHOP: International House of Pancakes.

an old one but a good one.

Why don’t native Americans like April?
Because April showers bring May flowers and Mayflowers bring Pilgrims and genocide.

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?

Pilgrims!

Credit to my 5yo daughter who just told me that one. She can’t read so I’m relatively sure she didn’t find it here.

Three blondes die and go to Heaven.

Stop laughing, that's not the whole joke.

They're standing outside the Pearly Gates when St. Peter comes out and says, "Welcome to Heaven. We've been having some problems with break-ins lately, so I just need you to answer one simple question, and you can get in to Heaven. What is Easter?"...

The meaning of Easter

Three guys are converting to Catholicism, to get a feel for how much they know, the priest asks if they know the meaning of Easter.

first guy says "yeah, that's when Jesus was born."

"no, that's Christmas" explains the priest.

second guy says "that's when we thank god for ever...

(long) Three men die together and end up in front of the gates of Heaven...

St. Peter states to the three men "It is not widely known but in order to get into Heaven, you need to answer a simple question about religion." so, he turns to the first man and asks, "what is Easter?"

The man pauses and says, "Is that the holiday where we gather around the table with our fa...

The Cathedral of San Giovanni

The City-State of San Giovanni is largely forgotten today. In 1571, however, it was a wonderful place to be for both the secular and the spiritual. The was no war for three centuries, the market benefited from its close proximity to the Old Salt Route, and the artist community was vibrant and influe...

Seasonal Jokes

Spring
Q: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
A: Pilgrims!
Summer
Q: What do you call a dog on the beach in the Summer?
A: A hot dog!
Q: Why do bananas use sunscreen?
A: Because they peel.
Fall
Q. How you mend a broken pumpkin?
A. With a pumpk...

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