I don't want to give a spoiler but

this joke is very bad

Did you hear that in the next fast and the furious movie they’re getting rid of those long fin things on the back of the cars

Ah sorry, spoilers

***SPOILER ALERT***

Check your milk's expiration date.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

PS5 screenshot spoiler warning is cool

If someone sends you an unsolicited dick pic and if you have not seen that dick before, it will warn you before you open the picture.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

**INFINITY WAR SPOILERS**

Ok now that all the nerds are gone, there's a party going on at my place this Saturday. hmu if you're interested.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Husband goes to a police station, says ‘My wife is missing!’

Husband goes to a police station...
“My wife is missing! She went out yesterday and has not come home...”

Sergeant at Police Station:
“What is her height?”

Husband:
“Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall

Sergeant:
“Weight?”

Husband:
“Don't know. N...

Here’s Something weird about the English language

Nothing in the English language start with N and ends in G



Spoiler it’s a joke
Okay was not expecting so many people not to get it I know there’s lots of words I’m just saying the word nothing does

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Warning: Game of Thrones Spoilers

Will make your car look fucking stupid

Spoiler alert:

It makes the trunk of the car look better

WARNING: STAR WARS SPOILERS

Voosh voosh pew pew pew voosh voosh pew pew voosh force choke voosh pew pew pew

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Game of thrones spoiler!!!!

Now that all the nerds aren't paying attention, party at my house this Saturday.

How do you not ruin a spoiler?

By mentioning its a spoiler

The cast of Star Wars VII just finished their first read through (spoilers)

Mark Hamill pulled JJ Abrams to the side and said "Can I have a word?"

MAYOR ENDGAME SPOILERS AHEAD!

Ok now that all the nerds are gone, I'm throwing an epic party at my house tomorrow and you're all invited!

Avengers Endgame Spoiler [Joke, no real spoilers]

Buddy: Yo so I just watched Avengers Endgame, and you know what happened?

Me: Might as well tell me, so many spoilers on social media anyway

Buddy: Well, I was at the theater, and I saw your girl with another dude...

Endgame Spoiler : Tony Stark and Bucky becomes partners to start a business at the end of the movie.

They name it Starbucks.

Drunkenness!

You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed.
On your right side is a sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse but your horse is unable to overtake it
. Behind you is a lion running at the...

BIBLE SPOILER

jesus dies

WARNING WILL CONTAIN ENDGAME SPOILERS

If falcon is the new captain america does that mean he is going to be captain falcon

Click here for spoilers

Microorganisms
Humidity
Light
Heat

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Mild Infinity War Spoiler] Did you guys see Peter Dinklage in the new Avengers film?

It was his biggest role to date.

***Massive Spoilers***

I am groot.

Why didn't the Tenth Doctor like potty training as a kid? [spoiler I guess?]

He didn't want to go.

Y'all probably will hate me for this. Spoiler alert for Frozen II.

In the first movie Anna was Frozen

Now in the second movie Elsa is frozen too (Frozen 2)

I'm sorry I shall take my leave

Endgame spoiler

The movie is 3 hours long

Marvel endgame spoiler joke (roses are red)

Roses are red

Thor is fat

The god of thunder ends up playing fortnite and roasting children on voice chat

My friend still hasn’t seen season 8 of Game of Thrones. And every time I try to broach the subject she just yells at me, “No Spoilers!” So I gave up on trying to warn her

That she shouldn’t name her baby, Khaleesi.

Funeral homes really need spoiler warning signs on the front of their doors.

In case any baby attends.

[spoilers] Roses are red, the sea's full of salt

Everyone's dead, It's all Star Lord's fault.

We all know the zip code to Beverly Hills is 90210 but what’s the zip code to Dawson’s Creek?

>!Spoiler!< 90108 for our lives to be over...

The way Star Wars should've ended. SPOILER

Old Lady- "What's your name?

"Rey"

"What's your surname?"


.....Long dramatic pause......


"Binks."

Fade to Black

Guys don't turn on the news right now

There are spoilers for season 1, Handmaid's Tale

I want to talk about Infinity War spoilers but...

I want to wait for the dust to settle a bit.

[Spoiler]

A flap on the wing of an aircraft or glider that can be projected in order to create drag and so reduce speed.

Civil War spoilers

Lee surrenders at Appomatox Courthouse, Abe Lincoln is shot by John Wilkes Booth.

I can't hold in any of these spoilers any longer...

...Snape kills Dumbledore. The Titanic sinks. Brazil lost to Germany.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[SPOILER] I finally got my fat ass over to watch Endgame.

Apparently, I have the body of a God.

I'm so sick of film spoilers.

If anyone tells me what happens in the new Ted Bundy film I'm going to kill them.

[Spoilers] Captain America could always

Lift mjolnir, he just didn’t want to steal Thor’s thunder.

Bro, I just watched avengers endgame, wanna hear a spoiler?

"Okay, tell me I'm not scared."

"I saw your girlfriend with someone else in the theater."

In Star Wars Episode I, we learn (spoilers)

That Anakin Skywalker has no father, the midichlorians caused his birth.



I guess his mom was forced into it.

[Star Wars spoiler] What did Han....

Tell Leia after they separated?

-----


*May Divorce be with you.*

With all the spoilers going around please:

No one tell me what Rosebud means.

What would you call it when you're watching a movie and you're friend tells you that the main character dies because they get hit by the back of a dragster?

A spoiler alert

You want to know what's the most unrealistic thing from Batman V superman? (not a spoiler)

A democratic senator from Kentucky.

(ROGUE ONE SPOILER) So the nickname...

Throughout the movie, you see Galen calls Jyn his stardust, I thought it was pretty cute.

I just didn't expect it to be so literal though.

(non-spoiler) Why could't Team Avengers sign Steve Rogers?

They didn't have enough cap space.

I recently got a new spoiler on my car...

It reads, “Snape kills Dumbledore.”

*WARNING* SPOILER tag is SERIOUS!

Milk and eggs go bad quickly.

NO SPOILERS

>!I lied!<

*spoilers* How do you pick up chicks like Margaery Tyrell?

With a broom.

What do daredevil and scarlet witch have in common? (Spoiler)

They both lost their vision

What do you call a car spoiler that's about to break?

An endgame spoiler

Haven't seen the new Star Wars yet...

But everybody posting spoilers about how Princess Leia dies

GOT SPOILER What is the Night King’s favorite paint color?

Burnt Umber

SPOILER - Just finished reading the supposed classic The Very Hungry Caterpillar

Plot line is utterly full of holes.. I’m furious.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Game of Thrones S7 Spoiler] What do Dragons call Jon Snow?

Motherfucker.

SPOILER ALERT:

I just had a piece of metal fitted to the back of my car to reduce drag and increase fuel efficiency.

Have you heard Tom Holland's reaction to the end of Infinity War? ***Spoilers***

***Spoilers***
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
He was blown away by it!

Which super hero is the best at basketball? (Infinity War Spoilers)

Spider-Man, he has the best fade-away.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Spoiler] In Game of Thrones, what is Jon and Dany's favorite sexual position?

Lannister style

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tyrion Lannister once brings a jackass and a honeycomb to a brothel (no spoilers)

Madame: What can we do for you?

Tyrion: I need a woman to lay with, for mine has left me.

Madame: Whatever for? And what's with the honeycomb and the mule?

Tyrion: My woman found a genie in a bottle, and he granted her three wishes. The first was for a house fit for a queen, so ...

[math][star wars]{no spoilers}

What do you call the derivative of the First-order in Star Wars?


The second-order.

(Spoilers) Why cant Jon Snow sit still?

He has aunts in his pants.

Here I made some bubble wrap

>!Iron!< >!Man !< >!dies!< >!in!< >!Infinity!< >!War!<

>!Jesus!< >!dies!< >!in!< >!the!< >!Bible!<

>!2021!< >!will!< >!be!< >!even!< >!worse!<

>!What did you expect they were marke...

SPOILERS for Deadpool 2

The X-Force was the actual Suicide Squad.

[NO SPOILERS] What do you call Doctor Strange’s assistant in an elevator?

Wong on so many levels.

[Spoilers] I finally watched Avengers: Infinity War

It was alright. Probably give a 5/10. The first half was great, but the other half just kind of fell apart in the end.

[GOT SPOILER] Why shouldn't you ask Jon Snow what time it is?

Because his watch has ended.

Which app does Thanos use to communicate with half of the universe? (Infinity War Spoilers)

Snapchat

Even though they did not show any spoilers in the Infinity War trailer we all know who dies...

... DCEU.

What is Glenn's (The Walking Dead) favorite restaurant? ***SPOILERS***

Popeyes!

Warning, Infinity War spoiler:

Stan Lee is the bus driver.

Who wants to hear a Star Wars Spoiler?

Darth Vader is Luke's dad.

*Spoiler* US Presidential Election Result Leaked

The dodgy, incompetent, unfit, slightly psychotic, rich, possibly criminal one who should 't even be in the race, wins.

[SPOILER] Ending of Civil War.

Lincoln gets killed at the end.

Marvel just announced the title of the Infinity War sequel. [spoiler]

Avengers: Days of Future Past

What is the name of that thing on the back of sports cars that make them more aerodynamic?

\[spoiler\]

[no spoiler] Why is the BB unit droid not hungry?

Because BB-8

(SPOILERS) I guess you could say Tommen...

Made a King's landing.

[Marvel Avengers Age of Ultron Spoilers] If Captain Americas shield is made of Vibranium what is Hawkeye's shield made of?

Quicksilver

I think it's been enough time to warrant a Star Wars spoiler...

Yoda is dead

Spoiler Alert!!

The cheese that I bought has been sitting out for days.

[Mild SPOILERS] Nice to see Arya Stark FINALLY get involved in the war...

She really jumped into the Frey.

I heard that there is going to be a Game of Thrones crossover with Westworld. (Spoilers for both shows)

Hodor: Hodor!!!

Bernard: What door?

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