Husband: My wife is missing. She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home ...

Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?

Husband:
Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant:
Weight?

Husband:
Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant:
Color of eyes?

Husband:
Sort of brown I think. Never really ...

I tried to build a wooden car once.

It was going to have everything wood. Wooden chassis, wooden body, wooden engine, wooden gearbox, wooden diff, wooden wheels, wooden headlamps, wooden blinkers, even a wooden radio.

But no matter what I did, it just wouldn't go.

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