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So What Jokes

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There's boomers, millennials then GenZ so what's the next generation going to be?

Fucked.

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Therapist: So what brings the two of you here today?

My wife: It’s impossible to live with him. He’s too literal.

Me: My truck.

All groups of animals have unique names: a gaggle of geese, a pod of whales, a colony of ants… so what do you call a group of Karens?

An HOA

So what if I can’t spell Armmagedon?

It’s not the end of the world.

So what if I don't know what "apocalypse" means.

It's not like it's the end of the world

So what are you in to ?

\- I stalk people.

\- Oh really ? Well, I like nature and running.

\- I know.

So I went on Dragons Den with my grandad's shotgun and Peter Jones said, "so what's the business idea?"

I said, "It's a very simple concept, Peter. Put the money in the bag."

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Therapist: So what brought you two here?

Her: I just hate how he takes things so literate

Therapist: What about you?

Him: A car

They say rubbing alcohol fixes outside wounds, so what fixes inside wounds?

Drinking alcohol!

So what if I sell feet pics on the side?

So shoe me

[First date] Her: So what do you do?

Him: I’m working on eliminating all cancers.

Her: Wow! That’s impressive!

Him: Next, I’ll move on to Capricorns.

Teacher: So what’s your sentence that contains the word contagious?

Student: our neighbour is painting a wall with 2 inch brush, my dad says it will take this contagious.

A man entered a contest for who can last the longest in space. He got first place, so what did he win?

A-trophy

"My GF said picking my nose is disgusting", a man told his friend. "So what?" his friend replied.

The guy answered "Now I have to do it myself"

If someone makes their fortune in ships, we call them a shipping magnate and if someone makes their fortune in oil, we call them an oil magnate. So what do you call someone who makes their fortune...

...selling fridges?

If you're in the UK, you go poo in the loo. So what do you do in the bathroom in Miami?

Cocaine

DATE: So what do you do?

ME: I race cars.
HER: That's so cool. Have you won many races?
ME: No, the cars are much faster.

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We all know the joke about a family's surname being based on their ancestors' profession, so what did John Hancock's family do?

The real question is, what the hell were Emily Dickinson's ancestors up to?

So what's the deal with lampshades?

I mean if it's a lamp, why do you want shade ?

[First Date] Her: So what do you do for a hobby?

Him: I collect complete season DVDs of 90s sitcoms.

Her: Do you have Friends?

Him: No.

So what do you think about the Trump administration so far?

It's been alt right

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Last week, after a one night stand with a woman, she had the gall to get up and use my toothbrush without even asking first. I told her, "That's disgusting!" She replied, "Well, we just had sex, so what's the big difference?"

I answered, "The difference is, I was gonna use the toothbrush again."

I've got bad posture so what?

Get off my back.

So what did she pick?

What did Delaware?

Maybe a New Jersey?

I don't know, but Alaska

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Therapist: So what brings you two in today?

Therapist: I think I have dissociative identity disorder.

Therapist: Don't listen to him, he doesn't know what he's talking about.

So what? I have a bunch of Legos.

You wanna make something out of it?

H2O is water, and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide, so what is H2O4?

Drinking

"So what's your opinion on Roe vs. Wade?

"Well, I prefer to float"

So what is your favorite groundbreaking invention?

Mine is the shovel......

So what do you think of equestrian sports?

Neigh or nay?

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Black people have black history day so what do white people have?

Father’s Day

So What do you call a banker that has no friends?

A Loaner.... I’m just going to go to the bank and withdraw my life.

Employeer: So what's your greatest weakness?

Me: I always celebrate prematurely.

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One ejaculation contains over 15000 gigs of DNA. So what does that make pornstars?

Fucking genuises

Interviewer: So what makes you think you’d be a good waiter here?

Octopus: I just really feel like I could bring a lot to the table.

When British people pronounce words like “Water” they say it like “Wuh-er”. So what happened to the T?

They drank it

So what is the difference between People and Bullets?



.

People miss Gandhi

So what if I'm addicted to drinking brake fluid?

I can stop any time.

On a first date, a lovely young lady asks, 'So what are your hobbies?'

The man replies, 'I like running, hunting, and people watching'

The lady says, 'Oh that's cool. I'm also a runner.'

The man says, 'I know.'

“A few years back when I’ve been on vacation in the Alps, my wife got pregnant. The year after that, a vacation in the Rockies, my wife got pregnant. Two years after that, a vacation in Aruba, my wife got pregnant. And another vacation’s coming up…...” “So what are you going to do?”

“I think I’m going to have to take her with me this year, just in case.”

So what's your idea of a perfect date?

\- DD/MM/YYYY, I find other formats a bit confusing

She: so what do you do for a living?

Me, trying to impress her: i work with animals.
She: aaww thats cute i knew you had a good heart.

Turns out being a butcher is helpful for picking up girls.

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says "Wow! I've never served a weasel before, so what can I get you?"

"Pop" goes the weasel.

"So what kind of work do you do?"

"I move cows"

"Oh , so you're a rancher?"

"Not really , I'm a zumba instructor"

So what's your take on abortion?

Well, on one hand I love killing babies, but on the other I really hate women's rights.

So what do you do?

*I sell prosthetic limbs to various countries.*

So you're like a med rep, but for amputees?

*I prefer international arms dealer.*

So what happened to the doctor?

Good news, he made it to his hospital.

Bad news, he was the patient.

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So Whats Protocol When A Plane Gets Hit By lightning (man asks)

(Pilot) Oh shit

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