The local weatherman named the upcoming snowstorm after his oldest son Kevin.

Because he didn't think it was going to amount to much either.

What do a snowstorm in Florida, a hula hoop with a nail in it, and the USS Adams have in common?

They're all navel destroyers.

The roads were so bad after this weekend's snowstorm I was the villain from The King And I...

I was crawlin' home

This joke may contain offensive words. πŸ€”

An old man stands in the middle of a snowstorm...

...the man was standing there for a little under ten minutes, and the snow is up to his ankles. A dog sled passes by him.

"Need a lift?" Asks the sled driver?

"No." The old man replies. "God will save me."

"If you say so." The driver mushes on.

After hour, the snow is no...

Dad joke: How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm?

... look for The Fresh Prints.

I asked my wife if she wanted to play Snowstorm...

Her: How do you play?

Me: Take off your clothes, lay down, and pretend to be a highway in the middle of a snowstorm.

Her: And then what?

Me: I'll plow you.

A blonde gets stuck in a snowstorm

and remembers the advice her father once gave her: *if you're driving in a snowstorm, follow a snowplow so you won't get stuck in the snow.* So she found one, and did.

After about thirty minutes the snowplow stops and the driver gets out, walks back to the blonde's car, and asks, "Excuse me m...

How is a man like a snowstorm?

You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it will last.

These reports of a major snowstorm hitting the Northeast don't concern me.

It's all just flake news.

Snowman puns to celebrate the snowstorm in my area

What do vampires get when they bite snowmen?
"Frostbite"

What is a snowman's favorite cereal?
"Snowflakes"

Why didn't the snowman answer the question?
"He didn't snow the answer"

What does a snowman like to ride?
"An icicle"

How can you tell a snowman is angry...

A blonde lady was stuck in a snowstorm

When she remembered her dad's advice: "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait until a snowplow drives by and then follow it." Eventually she saw a snowplow so she followed it along in her car. After 30 minutes, the snowplow driver stopped, got out, and walked up to the woman's car asking, "Lady,...

This joke may contain offensive words. πŸ€”

Sex is like a snowstorm...

Sex is like a snowstorm: It's advertised a beautiful, in reality gets messy very quickly, and if you take 10" overnight you are *not* moving the next day.

Blonde gets lost in a snowstorm...

She didn't panic however because when she was younger her dad taught her to wait for a snow plow and then just follow the snow plow to safety. Sure enough a snow plow drives by and she follows behind it for 45 minutes. Finally the driver of the snow plow stops and gets out and asks her if she needed...

The Boston snowstorm so was bad the Canadians reported on it.

They called it Tuesday.

When I was learning to drive in the winter, my Dad told me, "If you're ever lost in the snow, wait for a plow truck, then follow it."

One cold, snowy Minnesota night, I got lost on the way home. The snow was blowing so fast and piling up so high, I couldn't see any street signs. With no map in my car and a dead cell phone, I thought I might be stranded so I pulled over to the side of the road.

Then breaking through the flu...

This joke may contain offensive words. πŸ€”

A priest and a nun were hiking to a monastery...

... high up a mountain. Halfway to their destination, a snowstorm slowly started. They discovered an old wooden cabin and decided to take shelter.

Inside there was only one bunk, but also a sleeping bag. So, as a man, the priest decided to let the nun have the bunk while sleeping in the sleep...

03:00 doorbell

Ding-dong, Ding dong! I rolled over to look at the clock: three in the morning.

"Oh no! Something terrible must have happened!" said my wife.

I dragged myself out of bed, fumbled around to find a robe, and went downstairs. I opened the door, to find a disheveled stranger.

"H...

A blond on a cabin getaway (long)

A blonde a brunette and a redhead find themselves stuck in a snowstorm on what was supposed to be a charming cabin getaway.
Upon running out of food, the redhead decides she will venture out into the storm to search for something to eat.
Later that night she returns with a rabbit. The other g...

This joke may contain offensive words. πŸ€”

A busload of nuns goes over a cliff...

A bus load of nuns goes over a cliff in a snowstorm. All the nuns go to heaven and line us at the pearly gates in front of Saint Peter.

Sister Mary is first in line. St Peter asks her "Have you any sins to atone for?" She responds, "Once, I looked at a man's penis." St Peter tells her to...

This joke may contain offensive words. πŸ€”

A young woman is hitchhiking on the side of a road in the middle of nowhere.

It's late in the evening and the road is empty. The sun is setting and light rain starts to fall. Finally, she spots a car. The driver stops, rolls down the window, looks at her and says:
"Hey, If I gave you a ride, would you blow me?"
She's shocked. "What?! NO!"
"Too bad." He says a...

This joke may contain offensive words. πŸ€”

Ms Murphy, a first grade Irish teacher, was teaching her students vocabulary, and the word of the day was "contagious" ...

(For best effect, read dialogue in an Irish accent)

So she asked her class if anyone has heard the word used in a sentence before, and two students raised their hands, Billy O'Shea and Patrick Reilly. She called on her top student, Billy O'Shea, and asked Billy to use it in a sentence.
...

How do you figure out if Will Smith committed a crime?

Dust for Fresh Prints!



(i this version better than any snowstorm b.s.)