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Snowstorm Jokes

The snowstorm

This couple was watching the news and the weather report said there was going to be a snowstorm so if everyone can park their cars on the left side of road so the snowplow can come through the next morning so the wife did just that.

Then the next week the couple was watching the news during ...

A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm.

She didn't panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it." Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it.

She followed the plow for about forty-five ...

Why is a one-night stand with a man like a snowstorm?

You never know when he’s coming, how many inches you’ll get, or how long it will last.

A guy is driving through a snowstorm in Alaska when his car breaks down...

...so he gets it towed to the nearest mechanic. As he awaits the diagnosis he steps out for a smoke. He walks back in after smoking and a few moments later the mechanic comes out and says to him, "um...it looks like you blew a seal." To which the man responds, "oh nah, that's just some frost on m...

How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm?

Look for the fresh prints.

And old man visits a priest

An older man was riding his moped in a snowstorm to visit a priest to tell him that his 12th child had been born that day. Since the man was old and had a bit of trouble hearing, he thought ahead to what the priest would say so he could answer him.

”First he’ll say hello and then he’ll proba...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is a snowstorm like a penis?

Because anything less than 8 inches is a disappointment.

Hagrid cremates Harry Potter and throws his ashes into a snowstorm

"You're a blizzard, Harry"

What did Richard III say when the snowstorm stranded him several miles from his campsite?

Now is the winter of our distant tent

These reports of a major snowstorm hitting the Northeast don't concern me.

It's all just flake news.

Read This One In Playboy Decades Ago

You older pervs will have heard this one.

So a young couple were out driving late, and got caught in a snowstorm. Wouldn't you know it? The car stalls while they're out in the middle of nowhere, and has to pull over to the side of the road.

The man pops the hood, exits the car & pr...

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An old man stands in the middle of a snowstorm...

...the man was standing there for a little under ten minutes, and the snow is up to his ankles. A dog sled passes by him.

"Need a lift?" Asks the sled driver?

"No." The old man replies. "God will save me."

"If you say so." The driver mushes on.

After hour, the snow is no...

Fillet - o - friend

In 1874, Alfred Packer and his party were caught in a snowstorm in the Colorado Rocky Mountains. When he was finally rescued, the rest of the party was dead. Packer was found to have dined on "fillet of friend". At the murder trial - before Packer was found guilty - the judge reportedly yelled at hi...

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Sex is like a snowstorm...

Sex is like a snowstorm: It's advertised a beautiful, in reality gets messy very quickly, and if you take 10" overnight you are *not* moving the next day.

The local weatherman named the upcoming snowstorm after his oldest son Kevin.

Because he didn't think it was going to amount to much either.

Snowman puns to celebrate the snowstorm in my area

What do vampires get when they bite snowmen?
"Frostbite"

What is a snowman's favorite cereal?
"Snowflakes"

Why didn't the snowman answer the question?
"He didn't snow the answer"

What does a snowman like to ride?
"An icicle"

How can you tell a snowman is angry...

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A busload of nuns goes over a cliff...

A bus load of nuns goes over a cliff in a snowstorm. All the nuns go to heaven and line us at the pearly gates in front of Saint Peter.

Sister Mary is first in line. St Peter asks her "Have you any sins to atone for?" She responds, "Once, I looked at a man's penis." St Peter tells her to...

An engineer, a psychologist, and a theologian were hunting in the wilderness of northern Canada.

An engineer, a psychologist, and a theologian were hunting in the wilderness of northern Canada.

Suddenly, the temperature dropped and a furious snowstorm was upon them. They came across an isolated cabin, far removed from any town. The hunters had heard that the locals in the area were quite...

Blonde gets lost in a snowstorm...

She didn't panic however because when she was younger her dad taught her to wait for a snow plow and then just follow the snow plow to safety. Sure enough a snow plow drives by and she follows behind it for 45 minutes. Finally the driver of the snow plow stops and gets out and asks her if she needed...

The roads were so bad after this weekend's snowstorm I was the villain from The King And I...

I was crawlin' home

The Boston snowstorm so was bad the Canadians reported on it.

They called it Tuesday.

When I was learning to drive in the winter, my Dad told me, "If you're ever lost in the snow, wait for a plow truck, then follow it."

One cold, snowy Minnesota night, I got lost on the way home. The snow was blowing so fast and piling up so high, I couldn't see any street signs. With no map in my car and a dead cell phone, I thought I might be stranded so I pulled over to the side of the road.

Then breaking through the flu...

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A priest and a nun were hiking to a monastery...

... high up a mountain. Halfway to their destination, a snowstorm slowly started. They discovered an old wooden cabin and decided to take shelter.

Inside there was only one bunk, but also a sleeping bag. So, as a man, the priest decided to let the nun have the bunk while sleeping in the sleep...

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Ms Murphy, a first grade Irish teacher, was teaching her students vocabulary, and the word of the day was "contagious" ...

(For best effect, read dialogue in an Irish accent)

So she asked her class if anyone has heard the word used in a sentence before, and two students raised their hands, Billy O'Shea and Patrick Reilly. She called on her top student, Billy O'Shea, and asked Billy to use it in a sentence.
...

03:00 doorbell

Ding-dong, Ding dong! I rolled over to look at the clock: three in the morning.

"Oh no! Something terrible must have happened!" said my wife.

I dragged myself out of bed, fumbled around to find a robe, and went downstairs. I opened the door, to find a disheveled stranger.

"H...

What do a snowstorm in Florida, a hula hoop with a nail in it, and the USS Adams have in common?

They're all navel destroyers.

How do you figure out if Will Smith committed a crime?

Dust for Fresh Prints!



(i this version better than any snowstorm b.s.)

A blond on a cabin getaway (long)

A blonde a brunette and a redhead find themselves stuck in a snowstorm on what was supposed to be a charming cabin getaway.
Upon running out of food, the redhead decides she will venture out into the storm to search for something to eat.
Later that night she returns with a rabbit. The other g...

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