What did the teenage tornado say to his parents?

Nothing. He just stormed off.

Did you hear the story about the tornado?

Spoiler alert, there’s a twist at the end

What does a woman and a tornado have in common?

They suck, they blow and they leave you with no house.

In the South, what's the difference between and tornado and a divorce?

Nothing. Either way someone is losing a trailer.

How is a tornado like a redneck divorce?



You just know someone is gonna lose a trailer.

I heard a tornado hit Texas...

...and did millions of dollars worth of improvements.

I went to get tornado insurance for my campsite, but the company refused.

They said, “If your tent gets blown off, you won’t be covered.”

Why does this sub love it when a tornado blows over miles of fences?

Because there's a lot of reposting to do.

What do you call a tornado full of cats?

A Cat-astrophe

What do you call a tornado that never touches down?

A tornadon't

The Old Couple and the Tornado

Not sure if this one's been posted or not, but here goes.

An old couple were driving down a street in their neighborhood during a freak storm. Suddenly a tornado crosses the road and lifts their car. They're thrown about for several seconds before landing upside down in someone's yard. They'r...

A fourth of my roof was ripped right off by a tornado!!

Oof

How are women and tornadoes alike?

They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.

An old dime store novel writer walks into a saloon...

An old west dime novel writer is out looking for a good story when he wanders into a saloon. He sees a group of rough rider lookin' scoundrels playing poker and he musters up enough courage to sit down with 'em (thinkin' he might get a story out if he was lucky). "Mind if I play?"

The others ...

If there's a tornado, you should go to the Cowboy's Stadium.

Because there's no chance of a touchdown there!

Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!"

Suddenly the brunette yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!"

Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.

The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!"

Suddenly th...

Why did the tornado cross the road?

To get the road to the other side.

Where do you go if there is a tornado outside and a fire in your building?

Depends on your religion, I guess.

A Republican, a Democrat, and Bill Clinton are traveling in a car when a tornado picks up the car and tosses them miles into the air.

When the car finally comes back down, the three men realize they’ve been transported to Oz.



“I’m going to ask the Wizard for a brain,” says the Democrat.



“I’m going to ask him for a heart,” says the Republican.



Bill Clinton looks around and asks the two m...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day a giant tornado went through Austria...

...but luckily all the children were already in the basement.

Why are tornadoes always named after women?

Because when the tornadoes arrive they are warm and moist but when they leave, you only have half a house, no car, and your entire life lies in ruins.

How are tornadoes and marriage alike?

They both begin with a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the end you lose your house.

The President was injured in a Tornado.

Thankfully his spin-doctor was close by.

So a tornado tore through a trailor park, and caused 1000s of dollars of...

...improvements.

What makes a blonde and a Tornado similar? (Sorry blondes)

What makes a Blonde and a Tornado similar?

At first it’s sucking and blowing and next thing you know, YOUR HOUSE AND CAR ARE GONE! xD thank you! I’ll be here all year!

Did you hear about the tornado that tore through a cemetery?

Hundreds turned up dead!

I don’t know why everyone is afraid of an F5 tornado...

It’s just a refreshing breeze!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when a tornado hit's a cattle feed lot?

A shit storm.

Everyone is familiar with the story of the Wizard of Oz, right?

Dorothy and her dog get flown away in a tornado, and end up in the magical land of Oz. Obviously Dorothy misses her family and home, but her dog, Toto, he misses the rains down in Africa."

Did you hear about the tornado who got arrested?

They got him for shoplifting.

Three American men are sitting on a beach in the Caribbean sipping their rum and they get to talking...

Soon they happen to inquire about each other's backgrounds.

The first man says, "I used to own a matchstick factory back in California. But one day there was a fire and the entire factory was burned to the ground. I collected my insurance money and decided to retire here in the Caribbean." <...

Did you know that tornadoes can displace shellfish?

Apparently the locals in danger areas are able to identify oncoming bad weather due to the shellfish preceding it.

They call it the clam before the storm.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chuck Norris gave a blowjob to a tornado once...

The tornado was blown away.

3 women before a firing squad

3 women were going before a firing squad, and before they went out they all agreed to yell something disastrous to distract the shooters. The first one, a brunette went out and as they ask her if she had any last words, she yelled as loud as she could, "Tornado......"!!!!!!!! The squad ran for cover...

Did you hear about the tornado that hit the trailer court in Little Rock?

It destroyed the Governor's mansion.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the tornado that blew through the strip club?

It was a real titty-twister!

Four U.S. presidents are caught in a horrible tornado...

Four U.S. presidents are caught in a horrible tornado, that hits a state funeral they’re all attending in Kansas.

Suddenly, all of them are blown off to Oz.

They finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great and Powerful Oz.


“What brings you before the great...

What's the difference between me and a tornado?

A tornado can pick up girls

A Blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead are against a wall to be executed by a firing line.

Each is given an opportunity for last words. The Redhead is up first: she points and screams "Tornado!" Everyone freaks out and in the commotion she gets away. The Brunette is second and catches on the the plan: she points and screams "Tsunami," fleeing in the confusion. The Blonde has worked out a ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do ex-girlfriends and tornadoes have in common

As they leave, they both take the garden chairs THAT WE BOUGHT TOGETHER SHEILA YOU BITCH

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once upon a time, this guy named Fred decided that he was rough and tough enough to seek his fortune in the Wild West.

(This was in the days when the Wild West meant Texas and Arizona, with indians, outlaws,
tornados and droughts-not the current situation, where the Wild West means California and you have to brave hottubs, mellowspeak, fires and
earthquakes. That is, it was a simpler time.)

So, Fred fou...

A hunter lived alone in the middle of a forest, in a small house by the river..

A short distance down a slope in front of his house, he had a garden where he would grow vegetables to supplement his diet of forest game and fish.

&nbsp;

One morning, he awoke to the sounds of a thunderstorm and rushing water. Quickly getting dressed and stumbling outside, he ...

A farmer in Nebraska just had his fence destroyed by a tornado, and he's asking for our help

He heard we have a lot of experts in re-posting

Once in a small town lived a guy, who dreamt of having a car

He was fascinated by their speed and beauty, yet his parents wouldn't agree to fulfil his dream and buy it for him. So he changed various jobs, worked part-time and ran errands, anything just to get a bit closer to saving up for that final trophy. But as time came by his bank account didn't seem to ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My parents taught me well

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't stra...

What's the safest place in Dallas during a tornado?

The Cowboys stadium, the only place there'll never be a touchdown

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer was selling his

peaches door to door. He knocked on a
door and a shapely 30-something woman dressed in a very sheer
negligee answered the door.

He raised his basket to show her
the peaches and asked, "Would you like to buy some peaches?"
She pulled the top of the negligee to one side and asked, ...

My ex-wife is like a tornado

First she blows, then she sucks, then she took my house and dog.

How are a tornado and an Arkansas divorce alike?

Whichever one happens, somebody's going to lose a trailer.

A powerful tornado tore through our town last night. So far, eight bodies have been found.

Plot twister. It only damaged the graveyard.

What do women and tornadoes have in common?

First they are wet, then stormy and afterwards the house is gone.

Kids are like tornadoes

They're neat to watch but you can't help but be scared when they head for your house

What do you call a windmill that's been swallowed by a tornado?

A wind meal

How does a tornado tell the time?

It checks the tornado watch.

An F5 tornado went through Arkansas last week...

It did $150 million worth of improvements.

Which tornadoes are the most refreshing?

F5 tornadoes.

What's the similarity between a blonde and a tornado?

In the beginning there's a lot of sucking and blowing but then she takes half your house

The tornado warning siren has just stopped going off

That's either good or terrible

What is the most offensive coffee to tornado victims?

House blend.

I was in a tornado.

It sucked.

Why did the mad scientist deliberately create a huge fire tornado?

Some people just want to watch the whirled burn.

Tornado warnings are active for Cleveland, Ohio.

Residents are invited to seek shelter in Cleveland Browns Stadium where there is no chance of a touchdown.

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde were to be executed during a dictatorship.

Method of execution: Firing squad

The brunette was up, the gunmen readied their weapons, the captain started the countdown ... 3...2...1

The brunette exclaimed : "EARTHQUAKE!!!"

The gunmen were terrified! Fearing their impending doom at the face of such a natural phenomenon, the...

One day this old couple were at a carnival...

The man said to his wife:
“Honey, can we go on the helicopter ride?”
The wife says:”no, it says to be quiet so the pilot can focus, but you always shout. Even though, it says it’s $10 and I didn’t bring my money.”
The man keeps asking his wife until the pilot came up to them:
“Hey, I hea...

A hillbilly and a weatherman are talking about the weather.

Hillbilly: We don't need you here. We have the best way to tell the weather.

Weatherman: What is that?

Hillbilly: We have a bucket.

Weatherman: What if it rains?

Hillybilly: The bucket is full of water

Weatherman: What if it snows?

Hillybilly: It has snow ...

A blonde, brunette, and redhead are all running from these police officers.

They find a shack that has 3 potato sacks in it and decide to hide there in the sacks. The police officers find the shack and see the sacks.

They kick the first one with the brunette in it. She says "Meow, meow!". So they think it's a cat in there.

They move on and kick the second one ...

A lot of cities like to name their sports teams after their states major disasters

For example:

- Chicago Fire (Soccer)
- Colorado Avalanche (Hockey)
- Kansas City Tornadoes (Basketball)
- San Jose Earthquakes (Soccer)
- Miami Hurricanes (Football)
- New York City Jets (Football)

Original joke taken from a comment by u/toastytreats

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Someone told me that when there is a tornado, to hide in a location without windows.

Such as a bathroom or basement. Replied that an Apple store would work as well.

A classic one

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Swede are all captured and need to be killed by a firing squad.

The Englishman is the first to go up, and the countdown is given. “3... 2...”but before they can fire, the Englishman yells, “Avalanche!” and all of the firing squad is distracted and then the E...

What do you call a tornado holding a spork?

The Mersenne Twister.

Upstanding bulls

A herd of cows and two bulls are eating grass out in the pasture.
Suddenly, a great gust of wind comes ripping across the prairie and knocks all the cows to the ground. But, the bulls just sway in the wind and continue eating.
When the wind quiets down, the cows stand up, brush off the dirt, a...

Some pig!

I'm new here so I apologize if someone else has shared this one before, but here goes.

A couple have their pastor over for dinner on Sunday. He christened their baby a few months before, so they wanted to thank him with a nice dinner.

As they're finishing up, a pig with three legs walk...

Days after a massive F5 tornado hits Mississippi..

...financial experts estimate it did over 50 million dollars worth of good.

A brunette, redhead, and blonde got sentenced to execution in front of a firing squad.

The brunette went first. Seeing that the soldiers were a little naive, she waited until they raised their rifles and yelled "TORNADO!". The soldiers panicked and ran and in the ensuing confusion the brunette escaped.

They then beought out the redhead. She waited until the soldiers raised thei...

What does a tornado and a black person have in common?

It only takes one to ruin a good neighbourhood!

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