What did the teenage tornado say to his parents?

Nothing. He just stormed off.

A friend of mine tried telling a joke about a tornado...

It was a real tongue twister.

What's a tornado's favorite dance?

The twist!

I tossed a yield sign into a tornado once.

Guess I was throwing caution to the wind.

Tornado warning in Texas...

Everyone evacuate to the Cowboys stadium!

No chance of a touchdown there

Do you know what happened to the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado?

It was an udder disaster.

Q: What do tornado's and a redneck divorce have in common?

A: Somebody's gonna lose a trailer!

Why did the tornado cross the road?

To get the road to the other side.

I’m writing a book about hurricanes and tornadoes..

It’s only a draft at the moment.

What is the difference between a Tornado in Oklahoma and a divorce in Mississippi?

I don’t know but someone is losing a trailer.

What do you call it when a tornado interrupts your burial?

Plot twist.

What did tornado say to it’s annoying twin?

Sigh, clone.

Did you hear about the tornado at the cheese factory?

Da-brie was everywhere.

Marriage is like a tornado

First there’s a lot of blowing, then you lose your house.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Does the flap of a butterfly’s wings in Brazil set off a tornado in Texas?

I don’t know. But I know that a guy eating a pangolin in Wuhan, China can cause a toilet paper shortage in every single American mall

A Republican, a Democrat, and Bill Clinton are traveling in a car when a tornado picks up the car and tosses them miles into the air.

When the car finally comes back down, the three men realize they’ve been transported to Oz.



“I’m going to ask the Wizard for a brain,” says the Democrat.



“I’m going to ask him for a heart,” says the Republican.



Bill Clinton looks around and asks the two m...

What do you call a tornado that never touches down?

A tornadon't

Tornadoes are alot like divorces.

First they suck and blow,

Then they take your house.

Why can't we just nuke tornadoes?

That way nobody will die from the tornado.

How ironic, a tornado tore through Miss Oklahoma's vegetable patch the day after she was crowned Miss America.

She actually got whirled peas.

I tried to get tornado insurance for my campsite, but the company refused.

They said, “If your tent gets blown away, you... won’t be covered.”

4 former US Presidents are caught in a tornado

Four former U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado, and off they spin to OZ.

After trials and tribulations, they finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard.

"WHAT BRINGS YOU BEFORE THE GREAT AND POWERFUL WIZARD OF OZ? WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

Jimmy Carter...

What's the difference between a Texas tornado and a redneck divorce?

Nothing. Either way, someone's going to lose a trailer.

Why do Redditors get excited when a tornado rips down miles of fences?

Because there is a lot of reposting to do.

I'm walking down the street when out of nowhere a shellfish falls out of the sky

and hits me in the head. Dazed, I pick up the mollusk and say "Where did you come from, little guy?" The shell creases open slightly and I hear it say "A tornado picked me and threw me. You better get somewhere safe, it's headed this way!" I look around and see mostly blue skies, except for a few cl...

I don’t know why everyone is afraid of an F5 tornado...

It’s just a refreshing breeze!

The Old Couple and the Tornado

Not sure if this one's been posted or not, but here goes.

An old couple were driving down a street in their neighborhood during a freak storm. Suddenly a tornado crosses the road and lifts their car. They're thrown about for several seconds before landing upside down in someone's yard. They'r...

A fierce tornado rips through the field

A man runs for his life but gets to the edge of a river. He sees another man standing on the other side.

He shouts to the other man "I need your help to get to the other side, buddy!"

The other man looks around and responds, "You are on the other side, friend!"

The tornado catch...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a man who survived a tornado

He was being interviewed by the local newspaper. The reporter asked him if it sounded like a train coming, and the guy said “i don’t know, until right now I didn’t even know trains had sex”

Special Pig

A farmer walks into a bar with a pig with a wooden leg. Bartender says "We don't allow pigs in here". Farmer says "This is no ordinary pig this is a special pig". Bartender asks, "What's so special about it?" Farmer replies, "I was out fishing in my pond, fell out of my boat, I can't swim. Pig broke...

A farmer in Nebraska just had his fence destroyed by a tornado, and he's asking for our help

He heard we have a lot of experts in re-posting

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are arrested and sentenced to death by firing squad, one by one.

While they wait to be executed they come up with a plan.

Right before they’re about to be shot, each one will yell that some natural disaster or emergency is happening to distract the soldiers. During the distraction, they would be able to escape.

The brunette is first. As she hears ...

Kids are like tornadoes

They're neat to watch but you can't help but be scared when they head for your house

What do a hurricane, a tornado and a red neck divorce all have in common?

In every case, someone loses a trailer.

How are Woman and Tornadoes alike?

They both moan like hell when they come and take the house when they leave

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day a giant tornado went through Austria...

...but luckily all the children were already in the basement.

What's the safest place in Dallas during a tornado?

The Cowboys stadium, the only place there'll never be a touchdown

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chuck Norris gave a blowjob to a tornado once...

The tornado was blown away.

How does a tornado tell the time?

It checks the tornado watch.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the tornado that blew through the strip club?

It was a real titty-twister!

Did you hear about the tornado who got arrested?

They got him for shoplifting.

What do you call a windmill that's been swallowed by a tornado?

A wind meal

What does a tornado and a wife have in common?

They both start with alot of sucking and blowing, then you end up without a roof over your head.

There are 3 superheroes, The Fireball, Lady Aqua, and Tornado.

They all form a superhero trio, and try to stop villains from all over the world. They were all hanging at the SuperBase, when an emergency alarm went off.

The supervillain Master Garth is making their way to Paris, so that she can destroy the Eiffel Towel to be able to control all areas of E...

Did you guys hear about the chicken farmer who had a tornado go throw the birds' shelter?

He's afraid he'll never be able to recoup his losses

Why was Jimmy killed by a tornado?

He heard that tornadoes kill less people than a common flu and went out for a walk.

Where do you go if there is a tornado outside and a fire in your building?

Depends on your religion, I guess.

A tornado just blew off 25% of my roof

Oof.

Why are tornadoes always named after women?

Because when the tornadoes arrive they are warm and moist but when they leave, you only have half a house, no car, and your entire life lies in ruins.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My mother taught me...

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm go...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman get caught by the Nazis during the war.

The Englishman is put up to the wall to be shot. The officer asks him "Do you have any last words?", the Englishman shouts "Tornado!". The Germans all turn around and the Englishman jumps over the fence and gets away.

The Scotsman is put up the wall to be shot. The officer asks him "You you h...

So a tornado tore through a trailor park, and caused 1000s of dollars of...

...improvements.

What's the difference between me and a tornado?

A tornado can pick up girls

Did you hear about the tornado that hit the trailer court in Little Rock?

It destroyed the Governor's mansion.

There were 3 prisoners: Billy, Bob, and Joe.

Billy was smart, Bob was an average human, and Joe was an idiot.

One day, Billy thought up a plan to escape.

He whispered to Bob, "We're busting out tonight. Pass it on."

Bob whispered to Joe, "We're busting out tonight. Pass it on."

Joe whispered to the guard, "We're bus...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a tornado filled with boobs?

A titty twister.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when a tornado hit's a cattle feed lot?

A shit storm.

Did you hear about the tornado that tore through a cemetery?

Hundreds turned up dead!

Which tornadoes are the most refreshing?

F5 tornadoes.

The tornado warning siren has just stopped going off

That's either good or terrible

A Blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead are against a wall to be executed by a firing line.

Each is given an opportunity for last words. The Redhead is up first: she points and screams "Tornado!" Everyone freaks out and in the commotion she gets away. The Brunette is second and catches on the the plan: she points and screams "Tsunami," fleeing in the confusion. The Blonde has worked out a ...

My ex-wife is like a tornado

First she blows, then she sucks, then she took my house and dog.

A powerful tornado tore through our town last night. So far, eight bodies have been found.

Plot twister. It only damaged the graveyard.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Insurance

Three men are sitting on a bench in their fancy retirement community in Florida
Steve says: "I started with a men's clothing shop and built the business into the finest department store in town. One day there was a fire and it destroyed everything. Since I was too old to begin again, I took the i...

Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!"

Suddenly the brunette yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!"

Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.

The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!"

Suddenly th...

I was in a tornado.

It sucked.

What does a woman and a tornado have in common?

They suck, they blow and they leave you with no house.

What makes a blonde and a Tornado similar? (Sorry blondes)

What makes a Blonde and a Tornado similar?

At first it’s sucking and blowing and next thing you know, YOUR HOUSE AND CAR ARE GONE! xD thank you! I’ll be here all year!

Tornado warnings are active for Cleveland, Ohio.

Residents are invited to seek shelter in Cleveland Browns Stadium where there is no chance of a touchdown.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do ex-girlfriends and tornadoes have in common

As they leave, they both take the garden chairs THAT WE BOUGHT TOGETHER SHEILA YOU BITCH

Did you know that tornadoes can displace shellfish?

Apparently the locals in danger areas are able to identify oncoming bad weather due to the shellfish preceding it.

They call it the clam before the storm.

Why did the mad scientist deliberately create a huge fire tornado?

Some people just want to watch the whirled burn.

Three prisoners of war have escaped and are running through a forest...

The smart one says, "They're catching up to us! Let's climb up a tree and make animal sounds so they don't hear us breathing."

As the first enemy soldiers pass underneath, the smart one says, "Cheep cheep."

As the next wave of potential captors goes by, the average intelligence POW hoo...

What is the most offensive coffee to tornado victims?

House blend.

A reporter in the old west.

An old west dime novel writer is out looking for a good story when he wanders into a saloon. He sees a group of rough rider lookin' scoundrels playing poker and he musters up enough courage to sit down with 'em (thinkin' he might get a story out if he was lucky). "Mind if I play?"

The others ...

Three men are about to be executed

The guards bring the first man out & the firing squad gets ready to shoot. But then the man yells “*EARTHQUAKE!*” Everyone runs for cover, & the prisoner escapes.

They bring the second man out & the firing squad gets ready. But then the man yells “*TORNADO!*” Everyone runs for co...

What do women and tornadoes have in common?

First they are wet, then stormy and afterwards the house is gone.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do black people and a tornado have in common?

It only takes one to ruin a neighborhood.

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