What did the teenage tornado say to his parents?

Nothing. He just stormed off.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day a giant tornado went through Austria...

...but luckily all the children were already in the basement.

If there's a tornado, you should go to the Cowboy's Stadium.

Because there's no chance of a touchdown there!

Why do Redditors get excited when a tornado rips down miles of fences?

Because there is a lot of reposting to do.

A Blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead are against a wall to be executed by a firing line.

Each is given an opportunity for last words. The Redhead is up first: she points and screams "Tornado!" Everyone freaks out and in the commotion she gets away. The Brunette is second and catches on the the plan: she points and screams "Tsunami," fleeing in the confusion. The Blonde has worked out a ...

What do you call a tornado that never touches down?

A tornadon't

A tornado just blew off 25% of my roof

Oof.

What does a woman and a tornado have in common?

They suck, they blow and they leave you with no house.

Why is a tornado like divorce in Alabama?

With either one, someones losing the trailer

What do you call a tornado full of cats?

A Cat-astrophe

The Old Couple and the Tornado

Not sure if this one's been posted or not, but here goes.

An old couple were driving down a street in their neighborhood during a freak storm. Suddenly a tornado crosses the road and lifts their car. They're thrown about for several seconds before landing upside down in someone's yard. They'r...

What’s the difference between a tornado in the south and a southern divorce?

Nothing, somebody’s losing the trailer.

- Robin Williams

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when a tornado hit's a cattle feed lot?

A shit storm.

Did you hear about the tornado that tore through a cemetery?

Hundreds turned up dead!

What makes a blonde and a Tornado similar? (Sorry blondes)

What makes a Blonde and a Tornado similar?

At first it’s sucking and blowing and next thing you know, YOUR HOUSE AND CAR ARE GONE! xD thank you! I’ll be here all year!

So there was a tornado warning during school today

The tornado landed in the football field right outside the school.

It got a *TOUCHDOWN*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chuck Norris gave a blowjob to a tornado once...

The tornado was blown away.

A Republican, a Democrat, and Bill Clinton are traveling in a car when a tornado picks up the car and tosses them miles into the air.

When the car finally comes back down, the three men realize they’ve been transported to Oz.



“I’m going to ask the Wizard for a brain,” says the Democrat.



“I’m going to ask him for a heart,” says the Republican.



Bill Clinton looks around and asks the two m...

So a tornado tore through a trailor park, and caused 1000s of dollars of...

...improvements.

Why did the tornado cross the road?

To get the road to the other side.

Did you hear about the tornado who got arrested?

They got him for shoplifting.

Did you hear about the tornado that hit the trailer court in Little Rock?

It destroyed the Governor's mansion.

What's the difference between me and a tornado?

A tornado can pick up girls

Four U.S. presidents are caught in a horrible tornado...

Four U.S. presidents are caught in a horrible tornado, that hits a state funeral they’re all attending in Kansas.

Suddenly, all of them are blown off to Oz.

They finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great and Powerful Oz.


“What brings you before the great...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the tornado that blew through the strip club?

It was a real titty-twister!

What do you call a windmill that's been swallowed by a tornado?

A wind meal

What's the safest place in Dallas during a tornado?

The Cowboys stadium, the only place there'll never be a touchdown

I don’t know why everyone is afraid of an F5 tornado...

It’s just a refreshing breeze!

An F5 tornado went through Arkansas last week...

It did $150 million worth of improvements.

The tornado warning siren has just stopped going off

That's either good or terrible

How does a tornado tell the time?

It checks the tornado watch.

A farmer in Nebraska just had his fence destroyed by a tornado, and he's asking for our help

He heard we have a lot of experts in re-posting

How are a tornado and an Arkansas divorce alike?

Whichever one happens, somebody's going to lose a trailer.

A powerful tornado tore through our town last night. So far, eight bodies have been found.

Plot twister. It only damaged the graveyard.

My ex-wife is like a tornado

First she blows, then she sucks, then she took my house and dog.

Why did the mad scientist deliberately create a huge fire tornado?

Some people just want to watch the whirled burn.

Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!"

Suddenly the brunette yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!"

Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.

The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!"

Suddenly th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do black people and a tornado have in common?

It only takes one to ruin a neighborhood.

What's the similarity between a blonde and a tornado?

In the beginning there's a lot of sucking and blowing but then she takes half your house

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My parents taught me well

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't stra...

What is the most offensive coffee to tornado victims?

House blend.

Tornado warnings are active for Cleveland, Ohio.

Residents are invited to seek shelter in Cleveland Browns Stadium where there is no chance of a touchdown.

A hunter lived alone in the middle of a forest, in a small house by the river..

A short distance down a slope in front of his house, he had a garden where he would grow vegetables to supplement his diet of forest game and fish.

 

One morning, he awoke to the sounds of a thunderstorm and rushing water. Quickly getting dressed and stumbling outside, he ...

What do you call a tornado holding a spork?

The Mersenne Twister.

Once in a small town lived a guy, who dreamt of having a car

He was fascinated by their speed and beauty, yet his parents wouldn't agree to fulfil his dream and buy it for him. So he changed various jobs, worked part-time and ran errands, anything just to get a bit closer to saving up for that final trophy. But as time came by his bank account didn't seem to ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once upon a time, this guy named Fred decided that he was rough and tough enough to seek his fortune in the Wild West.

(This was in the days when the Wild West meant Texas and Arizona, with indians, outlaws,
tornados and droughts-not the current situation, where the Wild West means California and you have to brave hottubs, mellowspeak, fires and
earthquakes. That is, it was a simpler time.)

So, Fred fou...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Someone told me that when there is a tornado, to hide in a location without windows.

Such as a bathroom or basement. Replied that an Apple store would work as well.

High noon

An old west dime novel writer is out looking for a good story when he wanders into a saloon. He sees a group of rough rider lookin' scoundrels playing poker and he musters up enough courage to sit down with 'em (thinkin' he might get a story out if he was lucky). "Mind if I play?"

The others ...

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde were to be executed during a dictatorship.

Method of execution: Firing squad

The brunette was up, the gunmen readied their weapons, the captain started the countdown ... 3...2...1

The brunette exclaimed : "EARTHQUAKE!!!"

The gunmen were terrified! Fearing their impending doom at the face of such a natural phenomenon, the...

A blonde, brunette, and redhead are all running from these police officers.

They find a shack that has 3 potato sacks in it and decide to hide there in the sacks. The police officers find the shack and see the sacks.

They kick the first one with the brunette in it. She says "Meow, meow!". So they think it's a cat in there.

They move on and kick the second one ...

A classic one

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Swede are all captured and need to be killed by a firing squad.

The Englishman is the first to go up, and the countdown is given. “3... 2...”but before they can fire, the Englishman yells, “Avalanche!” and all of the firing squad is distracted and then the E...

Days after a massive F5 tornado hits Mississippi..

...financial experts estimate it did over 50 million dollars worth of good.

Some pig!

I'm new here so I apologize if someone else has shared this one before, but here goes.

A couple have their pastor over for dinner on Sunday. He christened their baby a few months before, so they wanted to thank him with a nice dinner.

As they're finishing up, a pig with three legs walk...

Three men are sentenced to death.

Each of the three prisoners were brought up one at a time in front of the firing squad.

The first man was up and the captain began to shout " ready... aim...." and the prisoner yelled "Tornado!!!". Everyone ran for cover and the first prisoner got away.

The second man was brought for...

One day this old couple were at a carnival...

The man said to his wife:
“Honey, can we go on the helicopter ride?”
The wife says:”no, it says to be quiet so the pilot can focus, but you always shout. Even though, it says it’s $10 and I didn’t bring my money.”
The man keeps asking his wife until the pilot came up to them:
“Hey, I hea...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer was selling his peaches door to door.

A farmer was selling his peaches door to door.
He knocked on a door and a shapely 30-something woman dressed in a very sheer negligee answered the door. He raised his basket to show her the peaches and asked, "Would you like to buy some peaches?"
She pulled the top of the negligee to one s...

A hillbilly and a weatherman are talking about the weather.

Hillbilly: We don't need you here. We have the best way to tell the weather.

Weatherman: What is that?

Hillbilly: We have a bucket.

Weatherman: What if it rains?

Hillybilly: The bucket is full of water

Weatherman: What if it snows?

Hillybilly: It has snow ...

A brunette, redhead, and blonde got sentenced to execution in front of a firing squad.

The brunette went first. Seeing that the soldiers were a little naive, she waited until they raised their rifles and yelled "TORNADO!". The soldiers panicked and ran and in the ensuing confusion the brunette escaped.

They then beought out the redhead. She waited until the soldiers raised thei...

3 criminals are about to be executed by firing squad

The first one is told to get in front and the marshal count down. 3! 2! 1! The prisoner shouts TORNADO and points behind the soldiers. When the soldiers turn around the prisoner runs away.

The marshal isn’t pleased and orders the second prisoner to the line. He counts down 3! 2! 1! The priso...

Upstanding bulls

A herd of cows and two bulls are eating grass out in the pasture.
Suddenly, a great gust of wind comes ripping across the prairie and knocks all the cows to the ground. But, the bulls just sway in the wind and continue eating.
When the wind quiets down, the cows stand up, brush off the dirt, a...

God was creating the countries when it became Brazil’s turn

God: This land will be a land filled with natural resources, the women will be beautiful, there will be no hurricanes or tornados, they will also have a lot of forests.

The angels were thinking this was a little too much and asked God, “Isn’t this a little too good?”

God calmly answer...

The three Paddys are running from the Russian army...

They find a shed, in side they hide in three sacks.
A few soldiers enter and start looking for them.
They come to the first sack which paddy English man is in.
One of the soldiers gives it a kick and paddy barks.
The soldier says "it's only a bag of dogs"
They come to the second sack...

A brunette, redhead, and blonde got sentenced to execution in front of a firing squad.

The brunette was dragged, kicking and screaming, to the wall and blindfolded. In desperation, she screamed "TORNADO!". The soldiers, caught by surprise, dropped their guns and covered their heads. The brunette tore off her blindfold and bolted to freedom out of the encampment.

By and by, the ...

Trump, Pence, and Paul Ryan and traveling together

President Trump, Vice President Pence, and Speaker of the House Paul Ryan are traveling together in a presidential convoy. A tornado comes along, sweeps up their vehicle and launches them hundreds of yards away.


When they regain consciousness they realize they've been transported to the m...

A blonde and a redhead are taken hostage by terrorists.

The women are taken to a remote island and put before a firing squad.

Just before the squad fires, the redhead points and yells, "Tornado!" The terrorists run in all different directions, and the redhead escapes.

When they realize what has happened, the terrorists come back to where th...

Three soldiers are captured when their plane goes down...

Three soldiers are captured when their plane goes down behind enemy lines. They are taken to the enemy's headquarters and informed that the POW camp is full so they will be executed immediately, by firing squad. They are taken out to an open space and sat down. Then, one by one, they are to be lined...

A man runs out of gas while driving through rural Iowa...

His cell phone dead, he walks along the highway until he finds a farmhouse. He knocks on the door, and an old farmer offers to fuel up his car after they finish dinner, which he kindly invites him to.

While enjoying his meatloaf and company of the farmer and his wife, the man looks out the wi...

A bunch of cows and bulls are standing in a field..

A bunch of cows and bulls are standing in a field. A huge gust of wind comes along and all the cows fall over, but the bulls just stand there, bracing themselves against the gale.

All the cows stand up and go back to their chewing.

Pretty soon, an even stronger wind blows through and a...

3 criminals are about to be executed by a firing squad...

The first criminal is brought out. The captain yells "Arm!" then "Aim!" The criminal thinks quickly and shouts "Tsunami!" Being near a tsunami-prone area, the captain and his men look around. The criminal escapes.

The second criminal is then brought out. The captain orders his men the same as...

Three guys are lined up to be executed by handgun.

The executioner ask the first one, "Any last words?"

"Tornado!" He exclaims, pointing behind the executioner, who turns around in terror. While the executioner is distracted, he runs away.

So the executioner moves on the the next guy. "Any last words?"

"Tsunami!" He yelled, poin...

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