UPJOKE
cyclonetwisterthunderstormwindstormhurricanetyphoonsnowstormhailstormblizzardrainstormwildfireairlightningsandstorm

What did the teenage tornado say to his parents?

Nothing. He just stormed off.

A friend of mine tried telling a joke about a tornado...

It was a real tongue twister.

What's a tornado's favorite dance?

The twist!

Tornado warning in Texas!!!

Everyone evacuate to the Cowboys Stadium! No chance of a touchdown there

I tossed a yield sign into a tornado once.

Guess I was throwing caution to the wind.

Do you know what happened to the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado?

It was an udder disaster.

Why did the tornado cross the road?

To get the road to the other side.

I’m writing a book about hurricanes and tornadoes..

It’s only a draft at the moment.

Q: What do tornado's and a redneck divorce have in common?

A: Somebody's gonna lose a trailer!

What did tornado say to it’s annoying twin?

Sigh, clone.

Kids are like tornadoes

They're neat to watch but you can't help but be scared when they head for your house

What's the difference between a Tornado, and a divorce in the south?

Nothing. Somebody is losing a trailer.
-Robin Williams

What happened after a tornado hit the shoe store?

After weeks of Sole Searching it finally reopened.

My county has just been under a tornado warning. As a redditor, I am excited thinking about the possible damage to my fence.

I could have so much reposting to do!

I believe the tornado chasers are the reincarnation of ancient sailors

They both hear the siren and know it’s dangerous, but they just keep going.

———

There was a tornado in my city and then I think of this.

Did you hear about the tornado at the cheese factory?

Da-brie was everywhere.

What is similar about Christmas and tornado season?

You have a tree in your living room.

What do tornados in Kentucky and divorces in Kentucky have in common?

Either way, someone is going to lose a trailer

My home was wrecked by a tornado taking my PC with it, I found the thing covered in glass and everything was unsalvageable aside from a stick of ram

At least I have the memory of it

What do you call a cow in a tornado?

\-A **milkshake**

The tornado may have taken my house but I found it very refreshing

It was an F5

Did you hear about that colony that got destroyed by the tornadoes?

It was very unsettling.

What do you call it when a tornado interrupts your burial?

Plot twist.

What's long, thick, black, and can make you scream?

A tornado

What's the safest place in Dallas during a tornado?

The Cowboys stadium, the only place there'll never be a touchdown

What do a tornado and a Tennessee divorce have in common?

Someone's going to lose a mobile home

How ironic, a tornado tore through Miss Oklahoma's vegetable patch the day after she was crowned Miss America.

She actually got whirled peas.

Why do Redditors get excited when a tornado rips down miles of fences?

Because there is a lot of reposting to do.

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One day a giant tornado went through Austria...

...but luckily all the children were already in the basement.

What do you call a tornado that never touches down?

A tornadon't

A Republican, a Democrat, and Bill Clinton are traveling in a car when a tornado picks up the car and tosses them miles into the air.

When the car finally comes back down, the three men realize they’ve been transported to Oz.



“I’m going to ask the Wizard for a brain,” says the Democrat.



“I’m going to ask him for a heart,” says the Republican.



Bill Clinton looks around and asks the two m...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the tornado that blew through the strip club?

It was a real titty-twister!

4 former US Presidents are caught in a tornado

Four former U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado, and off they spin to OZ.

After trials and tribulations, they finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard.

"WHAT BRINGS YOU BEFORE THE GREAT AND POWERFUL WIZARD OF OZ? WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

Jimmy Carter...

Did you know that Marriage is like a Tornado?

At first there's all this sucking and blowing, then eventually you lose your house.

I don’t know why everyone is afraid of an F5 tornado...

It’s just a refreshing breeze!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Does the flap of a butterfly’s wings in Brazil set off a tornado in Texas?

I don’t know. But I know that a guy eating a pangolin in Wuhan, China can cause a toilet paper shortage in every single American mall

Tornadoes are alot like divorces.

First they suck and blow,

Then they take your house.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a man who survived a tornado

He was being interviewed by the local newspaper. The reporter asked him if it sounded like a train coming, and the guy said “i don’t know, until right now I didn’t even know trains had sex”

A tornado just blew off 25% of my roof

Oof.

What's the difference between me and a tornado?

A tornado can pick up girls

What's the difference between a Texas tornado and a redneck divorce?

Nothing. Either way, someone's going to lose a trailer.

A fierce tornado rips through the field

A man runs for his life but gets to the edge of a river. He sees another man standing on the other side.

He shouts to the other man "I need your help to get to the other side, buddy!"

The other man looks around and responds, "You are on the other side, friend!"

The tornado catch...

A farmer in Nebraska just had his fence destroyed by a tornado, and he's asking for our help

He heard we have a lot of experts in re-posting

How are Woman and Tornadoes alike?

They both moan like hell when they come and take the house when they leave

What is the net effect of a divorce, or a tornado in Alabama?

Somebody is getting a new trailer.

A Blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead are against a wall to be executed by a firing line.

Each is given an opportunity for last words. The Redhead is up first: she points and screams "Tornado!" Everyone freaks out and in the commotion she gets away. The Brunette is second and catches on the the plan: she points and screams "Tsunami," fleeing in the confusion. The Blonde has worked out a ...

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What do you call it when a tornado hit's a cattle feed lot?

A shit storm.

The Old Couple and the Tornado

Not sure if this one's been posted or not, but here goes.

An old couple were driving down a street in their neighborhood during a freak storm. Suddenly a tornado crosses the road and lifts their car. They're thrown about for several seconds before landing upside down in someone's yard. They'r...

There are 3 superheroes, The Fireball, Lady Aqua, and Tornado.

They all form a superhero trio, and try to stop villains from all over the world. They were all hanging at the SuperBase, when an emergency alarm went off.

The supervillain Master Garth is making their way to Paris, so that she can destroy the Eiffel Towel to be able to control all areas of E...

Where do you go if there is a tornado outside and a fire in your building?

Depends on your religion, I guess.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chuck Norris gave a blowjob to a tornado once...

The tornado was blown away.

Did you hear about the tornado who got arrested?

They got him for shoplifting.

What do you call a windmill that's been swallowed by a tornado?

A wind meal

Did you guys hear about the chicken farmer who had a tornado go throw the birds' shelter?

He's afraid he'll never be able to recoup his losses

Before Chuck Norris goes sleep, he checks under his bed for Volodymyr Zelensky.

Tornadoes don't exist, Volodymyr Zelensky just hates trailer parks.

Chuck Norris jokes but instead of Chuck Norris it's Volodymyr Zelensky.

Why are tornadoes always named after women?

Because when the tornadoes arrive they are warm and moist but when they leave, you only have half a house, no car, and your entire life lies in ruins.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Ice Sculpture contest [OC]

Once upon a time an elderly couple ventured to an old town with not many inhabitants. The town being located fairly high up north as well as the harsh winter season lead to it not being the most prosperous place at the current time. Everyone there was cold, hungry and they mainly kept to their own. ...

I went to get tornado insurance for my campsite, but the company refused.

They said, “If your tent gets blown off, you won’t be covered.”

So a tornado tore through a trailor park, and caused 1000s of dollars of...

...improvements.

A powerful tornado tore through our town last night. So far, eight bodies have been found.

Plot twister. It only damaged the graveyard.

Which tornadoes are the most refreshing?

F5 tornadoes.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are arrested and sentenced to death by firing squad, one by one.

While they wait to be executed they come up with a plan. Right before they are to be shot, each one will yell that some natural disaster or emergency is happening to distract the soldiers and they would be able to escape.

The brunette is first. As she hears the captain counting down to 0 she...

What does a tornado and a wife have in common?

They both start with alot of sucking and blowing, then you end up without a roof over your head.

Why can't we just nuke tornadoes?

That way nobody will die from the tornado.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a tornado filled with boobs?

A titty twister.

Why was Jimmy killed by a tornado?

He heard that tornadoes kill less people than a common flu and went out for a walk.

What do a hurricane, a tornado and a red neck divorce all have in common?

In every case, someone loses a trailer.

I heard a tornado hit Texas...

...and did millions of dollars worth of improvements.

My ex-wife is like a tornado

First she blows, then she sucks, then she took my house and dog.

Tornado warnings are active for Cleveland, Ohio.

Residents are invited to seek shelter in Cleveland Browns Stadium where there is no chance of a touchdown.

Did you hear about the tornado that hit the trailer court in Little Rock?

It destroyed the Governor's mansion.

Why did the mad scientist deliberately create a huge fire tornado?

Some people just want to watch the whirled burn.

What is the most offensive coffee to tornado victims?

House blend.

I was in a tornado.

It sucked.

The tornado warning siren has just stopped going off

That's either good or terrible

What does a woman and a tornado have in common?

They suck, they blow and they leave you with no house.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Someone told me that when there is a tornado, to hide in a location without windows.

Such as a bathroom or basement. Replied that an Apple store would work as well.

What makes a blonde and a Tornado similar? (Sorry blondes)

What makes a Blonde and a Tornado similar?

At first it’s sucking and blowing and next thing you know, YOUR HOUSE AND CAR ARE GONE! xD thank you! I’ll be here all year!

What do women and tornadoes have in common?

First they are wet, then stormy and afterwards the house is gone.

Did you know that tornadoes can displace shellfish?

Apparently the locals in danger areas are able to identify oncoming bad weather due to the shellfish preceding it.

They call it the clam before the storm.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do black people and a tornado have in common?

It only takes one to ruin a neighborhood.

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