What did the teenage tornado say to his parents?

Nothing. He just stormed off.

A friend of mine tried telling a joke about a tornado...

It was a real tongue twister.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are arrested and sentenced to death by firing squad, one by one.

While they wait to be executed they come up with a plan. Right before they are to be shot, each one will yell that some natural disaster or emergency is happening to distract the soldiers and they would be able to escape.

The brunette is first. As she hears the captain counting down to 0 she...

Why did the tornado cross the road?

To get the road to the other side.

How ironic, a tornado tore through Miss Oklahoma's vegetable patch the day after she was crowned Miss America.

She actually got whirled peas.

“How much for that horse tornado?”

“Sir, that’s a carousel”
“I must have it”

I tossed a yield sign into a tornado once.

Guess I was throwing caution to the wind.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Does the flap of a butterfly’s wings in Brazil set off a tornado in Texas?

I don’t know. But I know that a guy eating a pangolin in Wuhan, China can cause a toilet paper shortage in every single American mall

Did you hear about the tornado at the cheese factory?

Da-brie was everywhere.

I tried to get tornado insurance for my campsite, but the company refused.

They said, “If your tent gets blown away, you... won’t be covered.”

Do you know what happened to the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado?

It was an udder disaster.

Did you guys hear about the chicken farmer who had a tornado go throw the birds' shelter?

He's afraid he'll never be able to recoup his losses

What's the difference between a redneck divorce and a tornado?

Nothing. Either way the trailer's gone

What's a tornado's favorite dance?

The twist!

What do you call a tornado full of cats?

A Cat-astrophe

What do you call a tornado that never touches down?

A tornadon't

Why was Jimmy killed by a tornado?

He heard that tornadoes kill less people than a common flu and went out for a walk.

What do a hurricane, a tornado and a red neck divorce all have in common?

In every case, someone loses a trailer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a man who survived a tornado

He was being interviewed by the local newspaper. The reporter asked him if it sounded like a train coming, and the guy said “i don’t know, until right now I didn’t even know trains had sex”

What do tornadoes and women have in common?

In the beginning there's a lot sucking and blowing, and in the end you lose your house.

What’s the similarity between a Marriage and a Tornado?

There’s a lot of sucking and blowing then someone loses the house.

Why do Redditors get excited when a tornado rips down miles of fences?

Because there is a lot of reposting to do.

Where do you go if there is a tornado outside and a fire in your building?

Depends on your religion, I guess.

There was a hunter who lived alone in the middle of the forest, in a small house by the river..

A short distance down a slope in front of his house, he had a garden where he would grow vegetables to supplement his diet of forest game and fish.


One morning, he awoke to the sounds of a thunderstorm and rushing water. Quickly getting dressed and stumbling outside, he saw the river ...

What does a woman and a tornado have in common?

They suck, they blow and they leave you with no house.

If there's a tornado, you should go to the Cowboy's Stadium.

Because there's no chance of a touchdown there!

A Republican, a Democrat, and Bill Clinton are traveling in a car when a tornado picks up the car and tosses them miles into the air.

When the car finally comes back down, the three men realize they’ve been transported to Oz.



“I’m going to ask the Wizard for a brain,” says the Democrat.



“I’m going to ask him for a heart,” says the Republican.



Bill Clinton looks around and asks the two m...

The Old Couple and the Tornado

Not sure if this one's been posted or not, but here goes.

An old couple were driving down a street in their neighborhood during a freak storm. Suddenly a tornado crosses the road and lifts their car. They're thrown about for several seconds before landing upside down in someone's yard. They'r...

How are women and tornadoes alike?

They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Don't know if it's NSFW but just to be safe

3 cockroaches are in a human bathroom, talking to each other. Suddenly, a human enters, so one hides in the bath, one hides in the sink, and lastly one hides in the toilet.
After the human does his business and leaves, they all meet up. The bath one asks if everyome is fine as he is. The sink one...

A reporter in the old west.

An old west dime novel writer is out looking for a good story when he wanders into a saloon. He sees a group of rough rider lookin' scoundrels playing poker and he musters up enough courage to sit down with 'em (thinkin' he might get a story out if he was lucky). "Mind if I play?"

The others ...

I heard a tornado hit Texas...

...and did millions of dollars worth of improvements.

A fourth of my roof was ripped right off by a tornado!!

Oof

Why are tornadoes always named after women?

Because when the tornadoes arrive they are warm and moist but when they leave, you only have half a house, no car, and your entire life lies in ruins.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Heard this one during a real science lecture two years ago.

"In the event of a tornado, you will want to hide in a safe spot." said the teacher. "A good place to hide would be one with the least number of windows. So where should you hide?"

One of the intellectuals thinks for a moment and then raises his hand. The teacher calls on him.

"You ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day a giant tornado went through Austria...

...but luckily all the children were already in the basement.

I don’t know why everyone is afraid of an F5 tornado...

It’s just a refreshing breeze!

So a tornado tore through a trailor park, and caused 1000s of dollars of...

...improvements.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when a tornado hit's a cattle feed lot?

A shit storm.

Did you hear about the tornado that tore through a cemetery?

Hundreds turned up dead!

Four U.S. presidents are caught in a horrible tornado...

Four U.S. presidents are caught in a horrible tornado, that hits a state funeral they’re all attending in Kansas.

Suddenly, all of them are blown off to Oz.

They finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great and Powerful Oz.


“What brings you before the great...

Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!"

Suddenly the brunette yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!"

Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.

The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!"

Suddenly th...

What's the safest place in Dallas during a tornado?

The Cowboys stadium, the only place there'll never be a touchdown

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a tornado filled with boobs?

A titty twister.

What makes a blonde and a Tornado similar? (Sorry blondes)

What makes a Blonde and a Tornado similar?

At first it’s sucking and blowing and next thing you know, YOUR HOUSE AND CAR ARE GONE! xD thank you! I’ll be here all year!

A farmer in Nebraska just had his fence destroyed by a tornado, and he's asking for our help

He heard we have a lot of experts in re-posting

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chuck Norris gave a blowjob to a tornado once...

The tornado was blown away.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Texan, an Oklahoman, and a Louisianan are sitting around a campfire.

The guy from Louisiana says, “I once moved two hundred head of cattle through a hurricane.”

The Oklahoman scoffs and says, “Heck, that’s nothing. I once moved three hundred head of cattle through two tornados!”

The Texan said nothing and continued to stir the coals of the fire with his...

Blonde Joke (oldie but a goodie)

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are standing in front of a firing squad about to be executed. The executioner chooses the redhead first...

Executioner - Do you have any words to say before you die?
Redhead - no
Executioner - ready, aim...
(The redhead screams) "TORNADO!"
**Ever...

Did you know that tornadoes can displace shellfish?

Apparently the locals in danger areas are able to identify oncoming bad weather due to the shellfish preceding it.

They call it the clam before the storm.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the tornado that blew through the strip club?

It was a real titty-twister!

Did you hear about the tornado who got arrested?

They got him for shoplifting.

Kids are like tornadoes

They're neat to watch but you can't help but be scared when they head for your house

Did you hear about the tornado that hit the trailer court in Little Rock?

It destroyed the Governor's mansion.

My ex-wife is like a tornado

First she blows, then she sucks, then she took my house and dog.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do ex-girlfriends and tornadoes have in common

As they leave, they both take the garden chairs THAT WE BOUGHT TOGETHER SHEILA YOU BITCH

Three prisoners were sentenced to death for their crimes

Each of the three prisoners were brought up one at a time in front of the firing squad.

The first man was up and the captain began to shout " ready... aim...." and the prisoner yelled "Tornado!!!". Everyone ran for cover and the first prisoner got away.

The second man was brought forth...

Three guys are about to get shot.

One yells, "tornado!" and runs away.

Another one yells, "Earthquake!" and runs away.

The last one yells, "fire!" and gets shot.

A powerful tornado tore through our town last night. So far, eight bodies have been found.

Plot twister. It only damaged the graveyard.

How does a tornado tell the time?

It checks the tornado watch.

A Blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead are against a wall to be executed by a firing line.

Each is given an opportunity for last words. The Redhead is up first: she points and screams "Tornado!" Everyone freaks out and in the commotion she gets away. The Brunette is second and catches on the the plan: she points and screams "Tsunami," fleeing in the confusion. The Blonde has worked out a ...

My kid was blown away when I did the perfect dive into the pool.

Just so happened a tornado ripped through the town at the same time.

What do women and tornadoes have in common?

First they are wet, then stormy and afterwards the house is gone.

What do you call a windmill that's been swallowed by a tornado?

A wind meal

What is the most offensive coffee to tornado victims?

House blend.

The tornado warning siren has just stopped going off

That's either good or terrible

I was in a tornado.

It sucked.

How are a tornado and an Arkansas divorce alike?

Whichever one happens, somebody's going to lose a trailer.

Three soldiers are about to be executed near a forest.

The first soldier goes to stand in front of the firing squad. The firing squad load their shotguns, but before they can shoot, the first soldier scream: "Tornado!"

The firing squad quickly turns around to look, but there is no tornado. The soldier had tricked them, and has now escaped into th...

Which tornadoes are the most refreshing?

F5 tornadoes.

Tornado warnings are active for Cleveland, Ohio.

Residents are invited to seek shelter in Cleveland Browns Stadium where there is no chance of a touchdown.

Why did the mad scientist deliberately create a huge fire tornado?

Some people just want to watch the whirled burn.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Someone told me that when there is a tornado, to hide in a location without windows.

Such as a bathroom or basement. Replied that an Apple store would work as well.

Three American men are sitting on a beach in the Caribbean sipping their rum and they get to talking...

Soon they happen to inquire about each other's backgrounds.

The first man says, "I used to own a matchstick factory back in California. But one day there was a fire and the entire factory was burned to the ground. I collected my insurance money and decided to retire here in the Caribbean." <...

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