UPJOKE
snowsnowfallgraupelraindropflakesnowyblizzardsnowstormsweetiepetalsleetsnowmanwatercrystalh2o

Friends are like snowflakes

They will disappear if you pee on them.

Never catch snowflakes on your tongue

until all the birds have gone south for the winter!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Maria had 3 children, snowflake, sand, and brick.

One day snowflake goes to her mom and asks her: Mom, why am I called snowflake? Then the mother replies: Because when you were born, a snowflake fell on your head. The next day goes Sand and asks: Mom, why am I called Sand? And the mother replies: Because when you were born, a small grain of sand f...

Once upon a time, there was a happy family with 3 kids: Snowflake, Sandgrain, and Brick

One day, Snowflake went up to his mother and asked:

“Mommy! Why is my name Snowflake?”

“Well you see, when you were born, a little snowflake landed on your head. So we decided to name you after it.” She replied.

A couple days later, Sandgrain went up to his mother and asked:
...

There were 3 brothers: Little Snowflake, Little Leaf, and Little Brick...

So one day Little Snowflake goes up to his mum and asks her:
- Why am I called like this?
- Because when you were born, a Snowflake fell on your forehead
So Lil' Snowie all excited goes up to his brothers and tells them that they should ask what about their names, so Little Leaf goes up to ...

Texans call Northerners snowflakes...

...yet they can't handle a single snowflake.

Humans are just like snowflakes. Each one is unique in its own way

And a large amount of them on my windshield makes it harder to drive.

As a millennial snowflake, if I can't win,

I at least expect a ribbon for precipitation.

Enter password: ‘snowflake’

Confirm password: ‘snowflake’

Error, your passwords are not alike

Dear liberals, stop crying about being called a snowflake.

In 20 years, nobody will remember what snowflakes are anyway.

Easily offended people are literally like snowflakes.

Alone, they are harmless. Together, however, they ruin everything good and bad in their way.

How did i know for sure global warming was real?

On the day Trump got elected over 50 million snowflakes melted at once.

What did the rogue snowflake say to the abused raindrop who was unaware of his powers?

Yer a blizzard Harry

Women are like snowflakes

Every one I touch suddenly disappears without a trace

Why was the young snowflake so upset?

Because he just watched his mom get plowed.

Women are like snowflakes...

They can't drive.

Snowflakes are actually the perfect metaphor for people.

Each one is unique, but we all have the same structure and are pretty similar in spite of our differences. And really, with as many around as there is, no one is going to notice your differences unless they care enough to look closely.

Also, people are similar to snowflakes in that it is diff...

If someone calls me a snowflake one more time...

I’m going to melt down.

“meta” mates

Facebook employees are now > Metamates.
LinkedIn > Inmates.
Amazon > Primates.
Tinder > Intimates.
ServiceNow > Nowmates.
Snowflake > Snowmates.
Postmates > Postmatemates.

What's the difference between Reddit and the north pole?

The north pole doesn't have as many snowflakes.

To all those who call people snowflakes and say they get offended too easily I’d just like to say…

Happy Holidays

If you complain that this generation is a bunch of snowflakes...

Don't worry, soon there won't be snowflakes anywhere.

How do you melt a snowflake?

Take a knee

What is a snowflake's school grade based on?

Class precipitation.

Texas being taken over by snowflakes

Guess they should have voted Democrat

Republicans are the true snowflakes.

They're white, they're cold, and if you put enough of em together they'll shut down public schools.

My girlfriend is a special snowflake

She's cold and flaky.

Why doesn't Santa have any millennial elves?

Because there are already enough snowflakes at the North Pole.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

All those people claiming Donald Trump is like Hitler need a reality check.

After all, its not like Donald Trump could write a book.

Edit: alot of people moaning in the comments "this is a stupid joke, Trump did actually write some books so this makes no sense!?".

Look at the sub you are in, some of these posts you'll see will just be jokes. If you are the sn...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bear got the habit to steal mead from one bee-garden

Owner doesn't know what to do: as soon as he gets the gun out, bear climbs to a large tree and can't be reached. One day beekeeper sees advertisement in a local paper: will help with any animals. He calls the number, and over an hour hefty man arrives with a shovel and tiny white dog. This is Snowfl...

I hear they are calling the riots yesterday 'The Capitol Blizzard'

Makes Sense....
They caused lots of destruction,
Was full of snowflakes,
And a whole lot of White.

Why are all Republicans supporting global warming?

Because they can’t wait to live in a world with no snowflakes.

How is the GOP like a blizzard?

It's all just a bunch of white snowflakes covering everything up.



In my very sleep-deprived state, I came up with that and managed to make myself laugh. Hopefully you get a chuckle out of it. Have a nice day!

"The child returned to the sun"

Around 1250, a merchant leaves France for a 2 years trip to the middle-east. When he comes back, his unfaithful wife had a son with a handsome young man of the city. Upon coming back home, the merchant sees the baby, who is obviously too young to be his own. He asks his wife: "My dear wife, please t...

Vaginas are like snowflakes

While they all appear to look the same, each of them has a subtle difference – making them all uniquely beautiful

Also, it’s fun to catch them on your tongue.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] Vaginas are like snowflakes

It doesn't snow where I live.

Women are like snowflakes. They’re all unique, and they’re all beautiful.

But in the big picture, they’re all the same.

A child asks why their name is...

A mother and father are going through baby photos with their three children when the first child looks up to his mother and asks...

"Momma, why did you call me Sand?"

And the mother replies, "Well, we named you Sand because when you were born a grain of sand landed on your forehead"...

Why is Blizzard so quick to resort to censorship?

Because they're nothing more than a bunch of snowflakes.

Why doesn’t Ben Shapiro like winter time?

Because of the snowflakes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

American society is best summarized by Christmas time

People who buy a bunch of shit while being surrounded by snowflakes.

You can’t really blame Donald Trump for not believing in Global Warming

He’s permanently surrounded by snowflakes.

A boy wants to ask a girl to prom, and he really likes her so he goes all out...

He goes to the florist to buy some flowers, but the line is out the door. He thinks, "that's okay, she's worth it," and waits an hour in the flower line.

Next he goes to the candy store to get some really nice chocolates and again, the line is absurdly long. Again he thinks, "that's okay, I'...

Old joke i heard about 7 years ago

A girl called snowflake approaches her mother and asks her why shes called snowflake,the mother responds:"When you were born it was snowing and a snowflake fell on your head". Then,her sister who's name is handkerchief asks her mom the same thing,her mother responds:"When you were born a woman was ...

Why do a lot of old people move to Florida?

Because they hate liberal snowflakes.

Why are conservatives climate change deniers?

Because they want to melt the snowflakes!

Snowman puns to celebrate the snowstorm in my area

What do vampires get when they bite snowmen?
"Frostbite"

What is a snowman's favorite cereal?
"Snowflakes"

Why didn't the snowman answer the question?
"He didn't snow the answer"

What does a snowman like to ride?
"An icicle"

How can you tell a snowman is angry...

It is December in Ontario...

... and the only Snowflakes I can find are on Facebook.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Shut Up

A young bluebird was flying from tree to tree in the brisk autumn air when he heard his parents call. Upon arriving back to the nest they tell the young avian to prepare for the trip south.

The little bluebird stubbornly inquires why, to which papa bluebird replies with details of heavy and c...

Every president has a secret service codename.

The current president is “Mogul”. I looked it up.
Mogul: a member of the Muslim dynasty of Mongol origin
Nope, that can’t be it, unless he’s a total self-hater. Try alternate definition:
Mogul: In downhill skiing, an ice-cold lump; an extremely dense obstacle to human progress, a destabil...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

That was a hell of a XXX storm last light.

All you could see were snowflakes getting blown!

I hate when a generation refuses to work and still expect to receive government checks

Those baby boomers in Congress sure are entitled snowflakes

I know the shutdown is done, but I think this joke is funny and I made it up myself.

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