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Snipers Jokes

Communists make the best snipers

They're natural Marx men.

How do Ukrainian snipers tell which Russians are the senior officers?

The number of stripes on their tracksuits.

Hundreds of armed men, snipers on the roofs, traffic blocked. What is that?

Peace conference.

What’s the one thing snipers can’t tell their wives?

Honey I missed you this morning.

I had a joke about bad snipers

but I am afraid it won't hit the intended audience.

Best Finnish joke i know (Does not involve snipers)

2 Finnish Longshoremen complete their hard days work at the port of Kuopio on payday, and decide to go to the local bar to have a fun night.

No words are spoken as they sit down. They look at the bar keep, and one raises his hand, with 2 fingers up.

The bar keep brings 2 shots of Vod...

Why do snipers close 1 eye when aiming?

If they closed both they wouldnt be able to see

What kind of restaurants do military snipers prefer?

Take out.

Why can't antivaxxers be snipers?

Because they won't take the shot

What did the red army call their snipers?

Marxmen

The Soviet Union had excellent snipers...

They were outstanding Marxmen

What do snipers and photographers have in common?

They get paid to take headshots.

Why are Catholics the best snipers?

Because they're always Amen for the head

Two snipers are going through the desert when all of a sudden they come under fire...

"Spotter"... says the shooter, "find out where those shots are coming from!"

So the spotter takes out his scope and starts panning round... "I think I found them. There is a small shrub, covered in bacon, gammon, and pork chops"

"That's them..."says the shooter... "it's a ham-bush!"

Communist snipers are the best.

They are marxmen who can shoot from all engels.

My friend started calling the girls I was interested in very bad snipers

Because not even they would take me out.

WW1. Austro-Hungarian HQ. Italian snipers are decimating the imperial troops, and that needs to stop...

"Zis can't go on! Vat are the pasta eaters doing to kill zis many troop?"

"Apparently, Herr commander, zey discovered zat the most common name in our troops is Fritz. So the snipers call out "Fritz" und every time zome idiot pokes his head out to answer und gets shot."
"Vell th...

Why do you always let a woman go through the door first?

Snipers!

Expert Marksman

Three snipers are out on the range, bragging about their skills.

“I can out-shoot either of you clowns. See that beer can out beyond the target?” The other two confirm. The first sniper lines up his shot, squeezes off a round and BOOM, can pops up in the air and lands 20 yards back.

...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the jewish girl on the swing do?

Fuck with the German snipers.

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