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Superman is flying around metropolis one day, doing his normal surveillance.

He looks down and notices Wonder Woman, laying on the roof of her place, legs spread apart, completely naked.

The thought occurs to him; he's as fast as a speeding bullet, he could fly down there, do his thing, and get out before she suspected a thing.

Without a second thought he pull...

Why don't Chinese people care about mass surveillance?

Because after the 1 child policy, nobody remembers what a big brother is, anyway.

That CIA surveillance leak sure is scary

I hope my Roomba doesn't start gathering dirt on me

It confuses me why people feel comfortable with government surveillance as “they have nothing to hide, so nothing to fear”....

….but get really scared when I ask them to take their clothes off.

After my retirement at the company I worked at for 50 years, I looked forward to some relaxation time and putting my feet up, but my wife had other ideas...

... she insisted I take her to the local shopping centre every day.

Like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and out.

She's like most women - loves to browse & leaves me with endless time to fulfill.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following let...

A Logical Conclusion

They say a camera adds 10 pounds.

After my last look in the mirror, I must be under heavy surveillance.

Why isn't NSA mass surveillance a hot topic in the US elections?

Because it's the only part of the govt that listens to the American people.

The MI5, the CIA and the KGB are having a competition

Three small parties of all three Agencies meet on neutral ground, on the edge of a big german forest.

For the goal of the competition, they decided that each of their parties should catch a rabbit, using their espionage skills. The party that manages to catch the rabbit the quickest, wins....

Who the patron saint of surveillance?

St Francis of a CCTV.

Conspiracy theorists are like, “If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck...”

It’s a government surveillance drone.

Back in the days, I'd only take just $1 with me to the supermarket and came back with 3 bottles of soda and 2 bags of crisps

But these days, there are surveillance cameras everywhere

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Poor old Jim finds out his wife is cheating with his best friend.

He wants to hire a hitman to put an end to their affair. The private investigator Jim hired recommends a guy who's supposedly the top in the field. Jim only has a few thousand dollars in savings, though, after the lengthy surveillance campaign, and he worries it won't be enough.

"That's okay,...

10 years ago I would've brought home eggs, bread, cigarettes and milk from the supermarket with just 5€ in my pocket.

But today they have surveillance cameras everywhere.

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I don't know why I was fired at the Viagra factory

The surveillance video showed me hard at work.

What do you call a watchful subatomic particle that resides far from a nucleus?

A surveillance electron.

MI5, CIA and FSB are tasked with finding a rabbit in a forest

MI5 forms a task group of twelve agent and proceeds to set up surveillance and monitor the inhabitants of the forest 24/7. They also buy information on the rabbit from several forest critters. After three months, MI5 abandons the search and concludes that the rabbit does not exist.


CIA ro...

I've read about an airport infra-red camera that detected breast cancer.

I guess we can't stress enough the importance of mass surveillance.

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So Trump is working with Putin on cybersecurity...

In other news, the principal at my school is working with the boys to install a surveillance system to insure privacy in the girls' locker room.

[Long] The FBI, Scotland Yard, and the KGB are competing to find out who is a better investigative agency.

They release a rabbit in the woods, and whoever finds it quickest is declared the best investigative agency.
The FBI agent goes in first and investigates. He follows trails, asks questions to the other animals, and sets up Wanted posters throughout the forest. He continues this for a week until ...

A group of soldiers was fighting against a group of rebels...

They had been fighting for a few years now, and many people, including innocent citizens, had lost their lives during this period. The soldiers tried and tried to rid the city of the rebels, but the latter was a strong resistance and were hard to defeat. Regardless of the many new personnel, bases a...

[Civil servant joke] President Obama wants to know who's better: the CIA, the US Marine Corps, or the LAPD.

The President orders a single, clearly marked white rabbit to be released into the California redwood forests. Whichever service catches the rabbit wins the contest.

The CIA go first. They deploy surveillance drones, spy satellites and analysts to track down the target. The rabbit is small...

I'm sitting with my dad (who happens to be pastor of a church)...

I'm sitting with my dad (who happens to be pastor of a church) and he's asking me about an app on his phone that connects to his video surveillance system


Dad: So I was supposed to get an oil delivery today. I can see there are two tracks in the snow coming from the driveway.


M...

When I was your age, my mom sent me to the store with a quarter and I came back with a loaf of bread, a bottle of milk, and a newspaper.

But you can't do that anymore because there's too many surveillance cameras.

An American, a Pole and a German go to hell

When they arrive, the Devil welcomes them and tells them: "I'm now going to escort you to the camp. You'll be forced to work 12 hours a day, you'll be under constant surveillance and every morning your national flag will be burned."

The American, the Pole and the German start with their work....

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The Silent Knight

So everybody know about King Arthur and the knights of the round table, but not everybody has heard about the Silent Knight of the round table. Here is a tale to tell:

A couple years after the round table was established the King went on another campaign. But there is a problem: he has a be...

At the end of the Vietnam war

An American and Vietcong General were discussing who would have won if the war had continued. Unable to agree they decided to hold a competition between the US Army, the Green Berets and the Vietcong.

The competition was simple, whoever could catch a rabbit the fastest in the jungle would be ...

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