A miner moves out west to California...

A miner moves out west to California. Having spent a few years in Colorado, he has a pretty good idea of the sort of lifestyle miner's live; up from dawn 'til dusk in the mines, and then up from dusk 'til dawn drinking and playing card games.

So, to his surprise, when he moves to Bluster's Bl...

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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

I've told this story to many naive greens before me, so self-absorbed in their own notions of human conflict and the meaning of war. Whenever I finish the tale they're always pale as Lyndon B's corrupt lyin' ass. I can't blame 'em. This story kept me up throughout my whole deployment in those damn j...

What’s something that can be said by a teacher and a soldier

After a while you get used to the gunfire

The Soviet army is marching in Finland

They hear a voice from the other side of a hill, "one Finnish soldier is better than ten Soviet soldiers."

The Soviet general sends ten soldiers. There is some gunfire then everything is quiet again. The voice then says, "one Finnish soldier is better than one hundred Soviet soldiers."
...

Gunfire reported at track and field event

They said it was race related

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A CNN reporter, a BBC reporter, and an Israeli commando are captured by ISIS in Syria.

The leader of the terrorists told them that he would grant them each one last request before they were beheaded.

The CNN Reporter said, "Well, I’m an American, so I’d like one last hamburger with French fries.”

The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the burger &am...

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The Embed

An embed journalist is taken out to a small army outpost a few miles out of a small village in the middle of the desert, to get a firsthand look at how the soldiers lived.

Upon arrival, he’s given a tour by the NCO. He’s shown the mess hall, the water hole, and his tent. Finally, the NCO lead...

A Winter War joke

A Soviet army is marching through a Finnish forest when a general hears a voice from over a hill shout: "one Finnish soldier is better than 10 Soviet soldiers!"

The general promptly send 10 soldiers to root out the voice, there is gunfire, and then silence.

After a few minutes, the vo...

A Soviet army is walking through a finnish field in 1939 during the winter war. Suddenly a voice yells at the other side of a hill.

The voice says: "one finnish soldier is equal to ten soviets"

The soviet commander sends ten soldiers to the hill. They hear gunfire, then silence. Soon the same voice yells again:
"One finnish soldier is equal to a hundred soviets!"

Angry soviet commander sends a hundred soldiers ...

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Pedro and Juan are stranded in the desert... (My favourite joke, [LONG])

After a day of walking, staggering, then crawling, they are thirsty, starving, and near death. They are about to give up when Juan exclaims,

“Pedro, look! At thee bottom of the dune... it’s an Oasis!”

Pedro struggles to bring his head up to look. “Juan... I think so my friend. I think...

CIA Entrance Test

3 finalists are in the running for an open CIA agent position. They're in a room awaiting their final evaluation to determine which one of them will get the job.

The first applicant is called into a separate room. There is a gun there and their spouse, seated on a chair. They are told to sho...

A German officer watches over his outpost during the Great War.

He's polishing his handgun when one of his soldiers below sounds the alarm. Down he rushes, gun in hand, to see a battle going on between his men and the British. He joins his men, and the fight seems to go on for hours. The gunfire only stops when out of the sky comes an artillery shell, destroying...

In a war torn country...

A voice calls out from behind a rock, “one U.S. marine is better than ten enemy soldiers.” The opposing commander sends ten men behind the rock. A lot of gunfire ensues, than silence. A voice calls out from behind the rock, “one U.S. marine is better than 100 enemy soldiers.” The commander sends 100...

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A woman, pregnant with triplets, is walking down the street...

...in a very bad part of town. Out of the blue, a car rolls by and opens gunfire on the house behind her. Despite her best efforts, the woman took three bullets to her stomach and was rushed to the hospital.

The doctors did everything they could to save the woman and her three unborn childre...

Sarah, John and Dan are training to be FBI agents.

They eventually reach the final test in the FBI's training program.

The test was this: One person was given a gun and sent inside a room; the door shut behind them and that person's spouse would be tied to a chair inside the room. The person was then told to kill their spouse.

John goe...

A Soviet General visits his troops...

He goes to see his men to raise their morale, and to encourage them to continue destroying the Finns on he Eastern front.


From somewhere within the forest he hears, "Ha! One Finn is better than ten Russians!"


The general is angered by this so he rounds up the nearest ten soldie...

I like the way you're thinking

Little Johnny always tried to make the teacher feel uncomfortable.
One day we were making some simple math tests, and after a while, the teacher asks Little Johnny: 'Johnny, if there are five birds on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?'
Johnny answers: 'None, because they all got s...

A battalion of Russian soldiers crosses Finnish border

Winter, 1939. A battalion of Russian soldiers crosses Finnish border. As they are marching, someone shouts from behind a forested hill:

"One Finnish soldier is better than ten Russians!"

The battalion commander hears this, mutters "we'll see about that", handpicks ten of his finest so...

A man went to the wishing well.

He wished for a superpower, any superpower at all.

The next day, he accidentally rammed into the wall, biting on the paint. He then dissolved into a sentient puddle, able to cover the places he moved around in paint.

"Whoa!" he said, changing out of that form. He rushed over to bite a...

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Reaction to Snakes

• Civilian: Runs away from the snake screaming.

• Paratrooper: Lands on and kills the snake.

• Armor: runs over snake, giggles, and looks for
more snakes.

• Infantry: "Look, a putty cat. Come 'ere
kitty....Ouch! Hey, that's not a putty tat."

• Army Aviation: Has GPS...

A large group of Pakistani soldiers...

A large group of Pakistani soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a Indian voice call from behind a sand dune. "One Indian Army soldier is better than ten Pakistanis."
The Pakistani commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune whereupon a gun battle breaks and continues f...

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The 3 Little Pigs

There were once three little pigs, named Jiggs, Willie, and Elmer. They lived a nice quiet life in their houses made of straw, wood, and brick, respectively. But wouldn't you know it, the Big Bad Wolf came strolling into town one day, hungry for some porkchops and maybe a little applesauce on the si...

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You, Jack, and David are walking through the desert....

Eventually, you three stumble upon a hidden forest oasis of plants and food. Immediately you start drinking and grabbing from the various fruits and vegetables in the area.

Moments later, you all freeze as you hear a shotgun cocked from behind the trees, and a farmer steps forth.

Outra...

A math teacher begs a simple question..

"There are three birds sitting on a branch... If you shoot one of them with a rifle. How many birds would be left?" Asks the teacher.

Johnny, considering himself quite the intelligent one, offers his answer: "well, ms.teacher... If you shoot a bird with a rifle... The loud gunfire would s...

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