Smother Jokes

Now the pillow I used to cut off oxygen is covered with grease.

1: So can we agree that those at the bottom of the political spectrum have less clothes?
2: Yes
1: So they are the less-ons?
2: Yes
1: And those at the top are the political spectrum have more clothes?
2: yes
1: so the more-ons?

Detectives called it the pillow case...

You need only one to smother your husband.

The eccentric customer always orders a tuna sandwich, but heavily modified, made with an extra cup of mayo, smothered in chili peppers, red peppers, onions, and pickles, then toasted until it's burnt. It looks and smells disgusting and the worker dreads it when he sees that customer come in.
... read more

One's a spot of bother and the other's a bot of smother.

I smothered him with a pillow.

The stupid police arrested me saying the term is called ‘smothering’.

“I wanna Dyson.” She said excitedly.


So that's why is smothered her with a pillow, your honour

A man drove by a farm every day on his way to work, and he always saw a pig in the front yard.

One morning on his way in, he noticed the pig had a wooden leg. It was odd, but he put it out of his mind. A couple of weeks later, he saw the pig had a second wooden leg. No longer able to contain ... read more

Unfortunately for them, they're quickly taken prisoner by the native cannibal tribe. The cannibal chief comes to the tree where they're and says, "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is, we're cannibals, and we're going to kill each of you, eat the meat and use the skin to make a can... read more

A group of country friends from the Wildwood Church wanted to get together on a regular basis, socialize, and play games. The lady of the house was to prepare the meal.

When it came time for Tom and Karen to be the hosts, Karen wanted to outdo all the others. Karen decided to have mushroom-sm... read more

A moth goes into a dietitian's office looking very unwell.


The dietitian goes, "What seems to be the problem?"


The moth replies, "Where to start, doc? Each day I wake up at 6:00 a.m. next to a moth wife I once loved, who I have slowly drifted away from over the days. Her once... read more

...I passed a little lady with white hair and deep wrinkles sitting on her front porch who waved to me. I decided to amble up, say hello, and see if I could determine the secret to her longevity.

She told me her name was Ida and that she'd lived in this house her whole life, just as her par... read more

and on the Sunday everyone went to the biggest restaurant in town. We went there too. The food was really good but during the meal I heard a drum roll.

The kitchen doors opened and the chef and maitre d marched out with a huge cloche. The locals all went quiet as they paraded this cloche arou... read more

He had a large army and demanded that they prepare him the finest meal he could or his army would destroy them and he only gave them a week to do it. So 5 days later the 12 different islands in the archipelago held a cooking contest. Each island prepared a beautiful dish and after much delay the jud... read more