Why are skeletons so calm?

***Because nothing gets under their skin.***

A joke as told to me verbatim by my 4yo son: What's a Skeleton's favorite instrument to play?

Haha, Get it, Daddy? Because skeletons are made out of *BONES!* HA HA HA!


Why are skeletons bad at high-stress jobs?

Because they’re easily rattled!

What is a skeletons favorite snack?


My son wanted me to post this one too!

Happy Halloween!

Why are cavemen afraid of skeletons?

Sticks and stones can't break their bones...

Thanks ladies and gentlemen...my 8 year old will be here all week...

How do skeletons get COVID?

From the coffin!

Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween. It's bad for the environment.

Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do skeletons have sex?

They bone each other.

Why do skeletons never go trick or treating?

They have no body to go with

What is a skeletons favorite board game?

Tibial Pursuit

Why it's impossible for skeletons to create a Choir

They don't have the organs.

What do skeletons say before they begin dining?


Why didn't the skeletons cross the road

Cause they didn't have the guts to do it.

Do you want to here a joke about skeletons? No?

Whatever, it's not that humorous.

There are no skeletons in my closet.

The bodies haven't decomposed yet.

Where does a necromancer get skeletons?

He works his zombies to the bone.

Why don't skeletons play music in church?

Because they don't have any organs!

What do skeletons use to mug people?

A shoulder blade

Why do skeletons hate Halloween party’s?

They have no-body to dance with

What room do skeletons hate the most?

The living room.

I find it wild that people would use cleaning products on their skeletons.

But to bleach their bone, I guess.

I hear skeletons always have something to complain about...

They’re always rattling about something

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

did you know all skeletons are gay?

of course not they're always in the closet

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do skeletons like having sex with short girls before eating?

They like to bone a petite

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was gonna tell a joke about 2 skeletons having sex...

...but that would've been the last nail in the coffin.

2 skeletons rise from a grave one night and get on a motorcycle

Suddenly the one on the driver seat gets off again, runs back and rips out its gravestone. The other asks: "What the hell do you need THAT for?"
And it answers: "Are you stupid? I can't just drive without my ID!"

Why do skeletons make good consultants?

They’ve got no skin in the game, no guts and no balls.

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