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Skeletons Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two skeletons were talking.

"You know what I find ironic? We can't get a boner."

Why don't skeletons fight each other?

They don't have the guts.

Why are skeletons so calm?

Because nothing gets under their skin

Why are skeletons such bad liars?

Because you can see right through them.

Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?.....

.... Because they have no body to go with.

What kind of maracas do skeletons play?

The death rattle.

"A Bone-Tickling Riddle: Why Skeletons Refuse to Battle?

**Why don't skeletons fight each other?**

**They don't have the guts!**

What do you call a skeletons nose?

Nobody knows!

What do skeletons invest in?

Crypt-ocurrency

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do horny skeletons do to make money?

Start a bonely fans

What is a skeletons favorite food?

Bonemeal

What do skeletons use to mug people?

A shoulder blade

How do skeletons fix their drinks?

By sternum.

There are no skeletons in my closet.

The bodies haven't decomposed yet.

What is a skeletons favorite snack?

Ribs.

My son wanted me to post this one too!

Happy Halloween!

Why are skeletons bad at high-stress jobs?

Because they’re easily rattled!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do skeletons have sex?

They bone each other.

How do skeletons get COVID?

From the coffin!

Why are cavemen afraid of skeletons?

Sticks and stones can't break their bones...

Thanks ladies and gentlemen...my 8 year old will be here all week...

Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween.

It’s terrible for the environment. Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly.

What is a skeletons favorite board game?

Tibial Pursuit

What do skeletons say before they begin dining?

Bone-Appetit!

What's a skeletons favourite sauce?

Grave-y

Where does a necromancer get skeletons?

He works his zombies to the bone.

Why it's impossible for skeletons to create a Choir

They don't have the organs.

Why do skeletons hate Halloween party’s?

They have no-body to dance with

What room do skeletons hate the most?

The living room.

Why don't skeletons play music in church?

Because they don't have any organs!

Why do skeletons make good consultants?

They’ve got no skin in the game, no guts and no balls.

What do skeletons use for the roofs of their houses?

Shin-gles.

Do you want to here a joke about skeletons? No?

Whatever, it's not that humorous.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

did you know all skeletons are gay?

of course not they're always in the closet

A joke as told to me verbatim by my 4yo son: What's a Skeleton's favorite instrument to play?

A TromBONE!
Haha, Get it, Daddy? Because skeletons are made out of *BONES!* HA HA HA!

Me: DOOT DOOT!!

Where do skeletons go for a night out?

Anywhere as long as it’s a hip joint

2 skeletons rise from a grave one night and get on a motorcycle

Suddenly the one on the driver seat gets off again, runs back and rips out its gravestone. The other asks: "What the hell do you need THAT for?"
And it answers: "Are you stupid? I can't just drive without my ID!"

Two skeletons decided to go on a trip...

Two skeletons decided to go on a trip. They were about to hit the road when one skeleton decided to check if they got all the items they will need. Few minutes into checking, one skeleton realizes that his buddy doesn't have his documents on him and that they could get pulled over by cops.

"...

What’s a skeletons favorite fruit?

A bone-ana

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was gonna tell a joke about 2 skeletons having sex...

...but that would've been the last nail in the coffin.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do skeletons like having sex with short girls before eating?

They like to bone a petite

Why are skeletons so bad at remembering things?

C'mon guys, this is a no-brainer.

What do you call a dating app for skeletons?

The bone zone.

I find it wild that people would use cleaning products on their skeletons.

But to bleach their bone, I guess.

Doctor [looking at my x-rays] : this is exactly what I was afraid of.

Me: What?

Doctor: Skeletons

What's another name for skeletons in the closet?

Hide and seek champions.

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