UPJOKE
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What Were Romeo and Juliet's Favorite Fruit?

Cantaloupe

"Will you be my Juliet and I will be your Romeo?"

"Aww, you love me?"

"No, I just thought the world would be better if we were both dead."

What's the difference between Romeo & Juliet and Covid?

One is a Verona crisis. The other's a Corona virus.

I’m banned for life from acting in our production of Romeo and Juliet, just because I misunderstood the stage directions.

It said, [Enter Juliet from the rear]

[Juliet looking down from balcony]

"It’s over Romeo, I have the high ground"

How did Juliet maintain constant temperature?

Romeostasis.

Some consider Romeo and Juliet a tale of true romantic love...

But only if you consider 2 underage kids in a relationship that lasted 3 days causing 2 suicides and 3 murders romantic...

Girl, we’re just like Romeo and Juliet

Cuz my family hates you and I want to kill myself.

A mathematician is asked, "Why did Romeo kill himself when he thought Juliet was dead?"

"Because without one the other is nought."

Just been arrested by the police after recently being given the part of Romeo in my local theater.

The script clearly said ‘Enter Juliet from behind’.

Do you have the original book Romeo and Juliet?

A customer at our bookstore asked me, "Do you have the original book Romeo and Juliet? My daughter needs it for school, and all I can find is the play."

To be or not to be?

I failed my audition as Romeo through a misunderstanding over a stage direction.
My copy of the script said: 'Enter Juliet from the rear'

The Coronavirus has shut down theater

Due to social distancing, the Shakespearean Theater Company had to cancel all of their live shows. Before self-quarantining, they decided to do one last performance of Romeo and Juliet and livestream their production over the internet. In order to reach a wide audience, they advertised there show o...

A man walks up to the ticket counter at a theater and orders two tickets.

"For Romeo and Juliet?" the ticket vendor asks.

"No," the man replies. "For me and my wife."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Magic Dildo (nsfw)

Romeo has gotten a new job out of state and now must leave his girlfriend, Juliet, behind. Their love is strong so they both want to give this long distance thing a try. The night before his departure, Romeo gives Juliet a gift: A magic dildo. “To use it,” He says, “all you have to say is *Magic ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Failed my audition in a play since I was being "innappropriate"

Fuck knows what they were on about though, not my fault my script said "Enter Juliet from rear"

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