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Shipped Jokes

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation

Years ago, when one could actually enjoy travel, a man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation in Jerusalem and while they were there, the wife unfortunately passed away.

The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her buried here in the Holy Land for $150 or we can have her shipped bac...

Every year, hundreds of kids are shipped off to mime school...

...never to be heard from again.

At the request of my wife, I have placed an order for a box of ants to be shipped from Italy...

She said we need more Rome ants in our relationship.

I told my audiologist that my hearing aids were shipped over a month ago.

I haven't heard anything since.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 people are shipped wrecked on a desert island

A man, his wife, and a bachelor. The bachelor sees a tall tree and says "we should take shifts sitting on that tree and lookout for passing ships. I'll take the first watch." The couple agrees and relaxes on the beach.

A few minutes later the bachelor screams "hey! Stop fucking!" The couple ...

I bought a sail for my boat on Amazon the other day. Today it dawned on me that it's not the right size so I called to cancel. They said it's too late.

That sail has shipped.

What’s the number one item shipped by amazon?

Cardboard boxes

I ordered a couple Elton John albums off of Amazon three months ago. They still haven't shipped.

And I think it's going to be a long, long time

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man joins the navy and is shipped out immediately

To an aircraft carrier in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The captain is showing the new recruit around the ship, when the recruit asks the captain what the sailors do to satisfy their urges when they're at sea for so long.
"Let me show you," says the captain.
He takes the recruit down to the...

Snickers bars are now being shipped in packaging made from recycled old newspaper comics.

They're packed with Peanuts.

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