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Sheltered Jokes

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So, a young lady, who lived a sheltered life, is getting married...

Perturbed, she says to her mum, "Mum, I have never even been with a man. What do I do on the wedding night?"

The mum, not wanting to get into the messy details, says, "My angel, I know you'll figure it out. But, just in case, I'll stay downstairs and clean up after the party, while you go ups...

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A school bus full of Catholic girls drives off a cliff and they all die.

A bus filled with 18 year old sheltered Catholic school girls drove off a cliff and they all died. So they all form a single file line in front of the gates of heaven and saint Peter says to the first girl "have you ever touched a man's penis?" And the girl says "yes but just with the tip of my fing...

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Apparently my coworker has lived a very sheltered life.

He comes up to me while I'm eating lunch and asks "Say, what is that you're eating out of??"

"What, my thermos?"

"Yeah! How does that work?"

"Uhh, it keeps the hot stuff hot and the cold stuff cold."

"Wow! I oughta get me one of those!" And he just walks away.

I di...

scarlet johansson

There’s an airline crash in the Pacific. The only two survivors are a young man, Steve, and an unconscious young woman.

Steve finds the young woman clinging to a piece of debris. He tows her to a small, deserted atoll.

The young woman does not regain consciousness for a week. In the me...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was at the pub with the lads and they were talking about blowjobs...

Having had somewhat of a sheltered upbringing I didn't know what that meant, so when I got home I said to my girlfriend "Do you know what a blowjob is?". She burst into tears and walked out of the room. I was very confused, and also a bit dissapointed as she had been sucking my dick at the time

An Elephant has escaped from the Zoo...

He ends up in an old woman's garden. Now, this old woman, she's lived a very sheltered life. She has neither seen nor heard of an elephant before.

She calls up the Sheriff.
"Sheriff, there's a Giant Grey Monster in my garden!"

"A Giant Grey Monster in your garden?" he says, "Well, w...

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