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My grandpa is still mad at the Japanese for Pearl Harbor.

I had to explain to him that it was the Americans who made that movie.

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Why did Japan bomb Pearl Harbor?

Because someone asked for supplies

TIL: After Pearl Harbor, US warships fired upon friendly u boats heading back to port.

Whoops, wrong sub.

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An old salt walks into a harbor bar and sees a man he thinks he knows with a hook hand, a peg leg and an eye patch.

He says,"Ahoy, aren't you Cap'n Jones?", The old sea dog says,"Aye, Cap'n Jones I am." The tar says "I sailed with ye years ago. But last time I saw ye, ye were a whole man. What happened to your leg?" Jones answers "Lost it inna battle, cannonball took it off at the knee." "Surely bad, and how abo...

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I held a door for an elderly Japanese man.

He said "Sank you."

Why did he have to bring up Pearl Harbor like that?

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A Chinaman and a Jew are in a racist argument...

A Chinaman and a Jew are in a racist argument when the Jew rears back and punches the Chinaman in the nose. The Chinaman says, "What was that for?"

The Jew responds, "That was for Pearl Harbor you son of a bitch."

The Chinaman looks confused and says, "Pearl Harbor was bombed by th...

If you live near the coast, the harbor is often the best place to go shopping.

They often have really good sails on boats.

A Barge Carrying Vegetables Sinks In a Harbor...

The disaster report claimed the boat had too many leeks.

A man runs into an old salty sea captain on the docks of Boston harbor and says,

"Cap'm, can't help but noticin'...you got a steerin' wheel secures to yer crotch there." Sea captain removes the pipe from 'tween his teeth and says, "Aye. It's drivin' me nuts."

On a scale of 1-10 how enthusiastically did Mitsubishi observe Pearl Harbor day?

Zero

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What did Roosevelt say after the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor?

I won't stand for this.

The greatest harbor on Earth can shelter not a single ship...

It is truly without pier.

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Only fifteen minutes

A group of men live and die for their Saturday morning golf game. One of them transfers to another city and they're lost without him.

A new woman joins their club. When she hears the guys talking about their golf round, she says, "I played on my college's golf team. I was pretty good. Mind if...

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Shipment of Viagra was stolen from new York harbor

The cops are on the lookout for hardened criminals

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An Asian man and a Jewish man walk into a bar

The Asian man goes: “Hi, my name is Joe Chan, what’s yours?”

The Jew replies: “Michael Goldberg... Hey you know, I never did forget you Koreans for Pearl Harbor.”

The Asian man, surprised, replies:
“Uhhh... Pearl Harbor was done by the Japanese, not Koreans, and I’m Chinese.”
...

America: Hey England, Happy Fourh of July!

England: Where’s the T?

America: Threw it in the harbor.

With how bad Asians drive

I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident

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Translation of the Bulgarian variation of the 1st day of school joke.

It's the 1st day of school at an American Middle School.

The teacher introduces the new student - Takiro Suzuki from Japan.

Class starts and she says:

- Now we will see if you know your history. Who said "Give me liberty, or give me death!"?

No one knows b...

True Story. So my grandpa, my father and I were out on a car ride to the beach when I was 11.

I always loved riding with my grandpa because he told all of his war stories from serving in WWII, and as a kid they were always cool to hear.

We stopped at a stop sign, and a car with 3 asian kids pulled up behind us ( maybe 18/19 year olds) and immediately started blaring the horn. My gran...

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A Chinese man walks into a bar and sits right next to a Jewish man.

The Jewish man starts eyeing the Chinese man suspiciously, a dark expression covering his face. Suddenly, with no warning at all, he stands up, grabs the Chinese man by the neck, smashes his face against the bar and throws him to the floor.

The Chinese man, dazed and angry, stands up and con...

How do Americans make their tea?

By throwing it in the harbor.

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I held the door open for an old Japanese man, and he said "Sank you!"

Being able to understand his heavy accent, I replied "You're welcome."
He laughs and says "No, you misunderstand, I am taunting you about Pearl Harbor."

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A Chinaman and a Jew were drinking in a bar

when all of a sudden the Jew knocks the Chinaman out of his barstool

Chinaman: “What’s that for?!!”

Jew: “That’s for Pearl Harbor!!”

Chinaman: “That wasn’t us, that was the Japanese!” To which the Jew replies, “Chinese, Japanese, Siamese. they’re all the same!”

They put t...

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A chinese pilot and a jew copilot are flying together for the first time

Since the start of the flight, there was a strange feeling between them, so the chinese guy asks:

Chinese: Do you have a problem with me?

Jew: I sure do, i will never trust you chinese people after what you did to Pearl Harbor.

C: but those were the Japanese, not the chinese....

With the way I see Asian people driving, it got me thinking...

Pearl Harbor might have been an accident.

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With the way I see Asian people driving, it got me thinking...

Pearl Harbor might have been an accident.

The chief of police knocks on a woman's door

"Ma'am", he says, removing his hat:

"we have bad and good news"

"bad news first" the woman replies.

"I'm sorry, but a serial killer attacked your husband, cut his skin off and threw his corpse in the harbor"

The woman begins crying. "so what's the good news?"

"When...

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An old man is sitting in a bar

The bartender sees that he’s upset and asks what’s wrong.

The man replies, “you see that wall over there, it took me 4 years to build that wall but no one calls me John the wall builder.

“You see that boat in the harbor? It took me 6 years to build that boat, but no one calls me John t...

The Bri ish are coming! The Bri ish are coming!

“Where’s the T?”
“In the harbor!”

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A Chinese man and a Jewish man are sitting next to each other on a plane

They make polite small talk and then sit back to wait for takeoff.

All of a sudden, the Jewish man turns and delivers his neighbor a swift kick in the shins.

"Yeow!", yells the Chinese man, "What was that for?"

"That was for Pearl Harbor!"

"But the Chinese didn't do that!...

An American is moving to Britain...

...So he decides to learn the british way of spelling things. So he spoke to a Brit he knew and he was told the following:
"So: Color turns into colour. Harbor turns into harbour. honor becomes honour. Starting to notice a pattern?"
So he writes an e-mail to his new boss:

"Gououd mourni...

Why does the Norwegian military have barcodes on its ships?

So when they return to the harbor they can Scandinavian.

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A Korean man and a Jewish man are in a bar, total strangers to one another.

The Jewish man walks up to the Korean man and, totally unprompted, punches him in the face.

Naturally, the Korean man goes "What was that for?"

The Jewish man responds, "That was for Pearl Harbor."

"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese," says the Korean man.

"Ah, Korean,...

A sailor has just signed up to join a Transatlantic trade crew for their latest voyage...

The rest of the crew have worked together for years, so he's the only newbie. Initially, it seems to be a pretty ordinary job.

However, after the initial work of loading the ship and leaving the harbor was done, he noticed something weird.

During lunch or dinner, whenever most of the c...

A few days after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident,

A Wellfleet man answered his door to find two grim-faced Harbor Master officers.

"We're sorry Mr. Flynn, but we have some information about your wife,".

"Tell me! Did you find her?!" Cedric Flynn asked.

One officer said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some
rea...

Did you know that all of the boats in Norway have bar codes on the side?

So when the ships come to harbor they can Scandanavian.

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A Jew ish man and a Chinese man are sitting next to each other at a bar

A Jewish man and a Chinese man are sitting next to each other at a bar, and it's very apparent that they hate hate each other.

They exchange hateful glances for a couple drinks until finally the Jewish man speaks

Jewish man: "you know what? I don't like the Chinese!"

Chinese ma...

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After completing a celebrity pro-am golf tournament, Jackie Chan walks into the clubhouse bar...

As he makes his way through the crowd of professional golfers and lesser celebrities, he mentions to his playing partner, Phil Mickelson, that he makes a point of playing as many pro-ams as he can throughout the year because “it gives him a chance to network with other celebrities.”

At that v...

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A Chinese man and a Jewish man are in an elevator..

..As they ascend floors, the Jewish man turns to the Chinese man and blurts out "You know what.. I don't like Chinese people too much." Taken back, the Chinese man asks him why. "Because you guys were responsible for Pearl Harbor!" Shocked, the Chinese man responds "That was the Japanese.." The Jew ...

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A Jewish man walks in to a bar

and sits down to have a drink. After a few drinks a Chinese man came in and sat next to him. The Jewish man immediately turned and punched the other man in the face.

The Chinese man shouted, "You fool! What was that for?" The Jewish man replied, "That's for Pearl Harbor." Chinese man said, "Y...

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A Jewish man and a Vietnamese man waiting in the doctor's office.

A Vietnamese man and a Jewish man are waiting in the Doctor’s office for an appointment and as the time goes on they become more and more irritated until finally the Jewish man says, “I hate you Vietnamese people!”.

Shocked, the Vietnamese man says, “What in the world would compel you to say ...

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Only joke I actually know: as told to me by my uncle

A Jewish man and a Chinese man were flying a plane, and just before take off the Jewish man turns to the Chinese man and says, "You know, I don't like you."

The Chinese man turns and says, "Well, why?"

The Jewish man tells him, "Because your people bombed pearl harbor."

The Chin...

A Jewish man traveled to a small mountain island

He was greeted at the harbor by a friendly resident who took him on a tour of the town. As they were walking, they heard a squeal and saw a small furry creature falling down the mountain, tumbling past them before rolling to a stop. The Jewish man looked on in astonishment at this exotic creature. <...

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A Jew walks into a bar

He sits down and sees an Asian man. He walks over to the Asian man and punches him in the nose.

Asian Man: what the hell was that for?

Jew: that's for Pearl Harbor

Asian Man: I'm Chinese the Japanese did Pearl Harbor!

Jew: Chinese, Japanese what's the difference.
<...

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A Chinese man and a Jew are talking

The Jew says "I still haven't forgiven your people for attacking Pearl Harbor."

To which the Chinese man replies, "That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese you idiot!"

The Jew says "Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?"

Then the Chinese man says "You know, I haven't forgiven your...

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Karma

A Chinese man and his Jewish friend were walking along one day when the Jewish man whirled and slugged the Chinese man and knocked him down.

"What was that for?" the Chinese man asked.

"That was for Pearl Harbor!" the Jewish man said.

"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese. I'm Ch...

How do you protect yourself from gamma rays and x-rays?

You don't bomb pearl harbor.

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Titantic is the 2nd highest grossing movie in Japan.

Guess since they couldn't sink Pearl Harbor, they went for the next best thing.

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A man sails to visit a remote part on the coast of Ireland.

As he comes close to the harbor, he sees an enormous, absolutely gorgeous Barque, docked in its own reserved spot. He ogles it for a minute, before docking himself and running through his checklist of things to finish before he can leave his vessel.

He finishes, gets all his things, and goes...

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A Russian captain and an American captain debate which country builds the best submarines...

They are standing at a harbor and they've been arguing for hours. The American says "Our subs have such efficient air filter systems that they can stay underwater for months at a time".

The Russian replies:"A few months? Laughsble. Our Russian subs have such advanced air filters that they ca...

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A Jewish guy walks into a bar. The Chinese bartender asks him his name...

"I'm Max Goldberg", he says, "what's yours?"
"I'm Wei Zhang, it's nice to meet you."

Mr. Goldberg says, "I'll never forgive you people for bombing Pearl Harbor."
"I'm Chinese. That was the Japanese."
"Chinese, Japanese, all the same to me."

Mr. Zhang says, "I'll never forgive ...

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Two pilots

A plane leaves Heathrow Airport under the control of a Jewish captain. His copilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.

Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot,...

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Chauncey and Edgar catching up....

Chauncey and Edgar were very old friends who had not seen each other for a while and they wanted to catch up. Edgar invited Chauncey over for lunch. "We're getting on in years" Chauncey said. "Do you still get out much like we used to?" "Not like the old times" replied Edgar. "But I still man...

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A Chinese man is at a wedding

And he's approached by a Jewish man who is clearly very drunk and the Jewish man says to him, "Hey, I just wanted to let you know, I still blame YOU for Pearl Harbor."

And the Chinese man says, "What are you even talking about, that was the Japanese, I'm Chinese."

To which the Jewish...

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A rabbi walks into a Chinese bar

...and orders a beer. He chugs it, leans over the counter, and punches the bartender on the nose, saying "That was for Pearl Harbor!"

The bartender is furious. "Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese, you idiot! I'm Chinese!"

The rabbi shrugs. "Ach, Chinese, Japanese, what's the differenc...

Guy goes into an old Chinese Curiosity Shop in New York. Looking at all the strange, and unique items, he spots a large stuffed rat...

... It being very large and strange, the gentleman decides that it would be a great conversation starter for his office.

He approaches the old Chinese man behind the counter and pays for the large stuffed rat, but as he is leaving he swears he can hear the old Chinese man cackling behind...

Why don't British people pronounce their T's?

They left them in the Boston Harbor

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Two Irishmen were sitting at a bar...

An older man, McGreggor, is talking to younger man.
"Look at this Bar. I spent a whole year building this bar. All of my pride went making into this with me own hands, but do they call McGreggor the bar builder? No"

He pointed to a fence outside "You see that? I built that fence. Pounded...

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Pakis!

The Pope was on a visit to England, and taking a tour of Newquay.

Walking along the seafront, he noticed something strange going on in the sea a few hundred metres from the beach. A Pakistani man who looked badly hurt seemed to be drowning in the water. The pope asked his aid if he could borr...

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Chinese, Japanese, Dirty Knees, Look At These ...

A Chinese man is standing on a street corner waiting to cross.
An elderly Jewish man walks up to him, and to his face, exclaims: "Go to hell! Go to hell, for what you and you people did to the innocent people at Pearl Harbor!"
The Chinese guy, baffled, replies: "The Japanese bombed Pearl Harb...

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A Jewish guy and a Chinese guy are sitting in a bar...

The Jewish guys looks at the Chinese guy, sizes him up, then socks him in the arm.

Chinese guy: "What the hell! What gives?"
Jewish guy: "That was for Peal Harbor"
Chinese guy: "That was the Japanese, I'm Chinese"
Jewish guy: "Chinese, Japanese, same difference"

Offended, but...

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A Jew and a Chinese man walk into a bar

After a while of drinking the Jewish man punches the Chinese man right in the face. "What was that for!" replies the Chinese man. "That was for pearl harbor" he quickly replies. Offended the Chinese man says "You idiot! that was the Japanese! I am Chinese!" The Jewish man says "ehhh, Japanese, C...

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The Story of Ivan Ivanavich (Warning: long)

There once was a man from the Ukraine named Ivan Ivanavich. Now Ivan and his family were dirt poor, in fact they were so poor, that they had to sell the cockroaches and rats they found in their hovel to make some spare change to to feed their many family members. One day Ivan decided it was time to ...

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The time my grandpa went to Africa

One day I was sitting with my grandpa watching TV. As it happened we were watching the Discovery channel when a show about Africa came on.


"Hmph, Africa... I've been there." My grandpa said.


"Really?" I asked, "I never knew you went to Africa grandpa, when was this?"

...

When using the equation Y=1-T to understand how citizens react to changes in taxation...what happens when T>1?

Alot of T gets dumped in a harbor

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Captain's log

31.08.1883
We sailed to the West,we hope to find a new continent.Crew is in good mood, food is excellent, 5 girls from the harbor are with us and they are very happy.

31.10.1883
Compass died, we are navigating using the stars and the suns (when it's not cloudy,fu*king clouds)
Crew is...

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An elderly Japanese man...

An elderly Japanese man was walking behind me as I was entering a store. Since he was older and walked with a cane, I held the door for him. As he walked pasted he said, "Sank you" with his accent. So I punched him in the face and said, "How dare you bring up Pearl Harbor like that!"

Doing what is right

While I was strolling around the harbor this morning about 11 am. I noticed a terrorist who slipped from the bridge and fell into the water.

He was struggling to stay afloat because of all the explosives he was carrying. If he didn't get help he would surely drown.

Being a responsibl...

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My go-to joke

Seamus is out walking with his grandson Angus, and he says "Angus, your da told me to give you a little talk about legacy. Ya got to be careful with what you do in life, because it'll stick with ya"

"You see that bridge over there? I cut every stone down in the quarry, lugged them up to to th...

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The Donut Joke

There was once an unemployed donut named Bob. Luckily for him, a pirate ship sailed into the port that day. He went to the captain of the ship and said, “Can I work on your ship?” The captain said “No.” The donut went home all sad and depressed. The next day, he went back to the captain. “Can I work...

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