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Set In Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A mother was in the kitchen listening to her five year old playing with his new train set in the lounge.

She heard the train stop and her son saying "All of You bastards who want off, get off now 'cos we're in a hurry! And all of you bastards who are getting on, get on now 'cos we're going down the tracks"

The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this...

Why is CoD: Infinite Warfare set in space?

Because no one on earth wants to buy it.

Dad finds a BDSM toys set in his daughter's room

"Well, I'm assuming that punishing you is pointless..."

What do you call a gaming party set in Australia?

A LAN down under.

New Zelda game is going to be set in Spain at Christmas time. Story surrounds freeing a fairy’s captured father.

Zelda: Release Navi’s Dad

Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn-shop?

I did it the other knight...

And I got rooked.

What would you call a horror movie set in a post-gasoline world?

The Silence of The Lambos

What would be the best name for a sitcom set in Afghanistan?

Minefeld.

Trying to remember the name of that 80's sitcom set in a bar in Boston

If anybody can help me out that would be great.



Cheers.

I tried writing a remake of my favourite Nic Cage film but set in Ireland

After all, who wouldn't enjoy Con Aer Lingus

Did you know that Helen Keller had a swing set in her back yard?

Neither did she.

I'm making a silent film set in the Middle East

It's titled A Kuwait Place

I've written a musical about a band of London pick-pockets set in modern times...

It's basically Oliver! with a twist.

I'm sick of seeing movies that say they are set in the "Present Day."

Just call it Christmas!

I wondered why all the books about vampires were set in Europe or America but never Africa.

Then I remembered vampires are killed by holy water and they bless the rains down in Africa.

A Guy Walks Into A Bar With An Octopus Under His Arm

He sets the octopus on a stool next to him and announces:
"This is an amazing octopus. I'll bet anyone in this bar $50 that this octopus can play any instrument set in front of it."

 

None of the people could believe this, so one guy brought up a guitar. The octopus took ...

Jesus was set in charge of pearly gates of St. Peter for a few minutes.

One day Jesus was walking by the pearly gates when St Peter asked him to watch the gates for a few minutes.

Jesus agrees and in a few minutes he sees an old old man approach.

The old man walked very slowly, had a halting gait, long white hair and a beard. When Jesus asked if he could ...

The North/South Korea conflict reminded me of an old joke set in Israel

Two old Israeli men are having lunch together, talking about this and that, politics and their jobs, and the conversation leads to them talking about the state of Israel.

"I'm telling you, Moskowitz, there's an easy solution to all the problems Israel has."

"I'm sure if there was one, ...

Have you heard about the new movie set in a post apocalyptic world where the proletariat control the means of production?

They're calling it Mad Marx

My uncle has a television set in his automobile, but it led to a little trouble.

You see, he was sitting in the car, watching television, while his wife was driving on the highway at sixty miles per hour.

Then the commercial came on, and he stepped out to go to the bathroom

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

God asks a guy, would you set in motion a chain of events that will lead to the whole visible universe being destroyed in 1 million years, for 1 trillion dollars? Guy says yes thats alot of money and I've got to live for today.

God pulls out a mountain of cash and swims in it and says, then you'll understand what I did 999,999 years ago.

I heard a rumor that the next Legend of Zelda game is to be set in a Hyrule version of Spain. No one believes me

They don’t expect a Spanish Link decision

r/funny told me to post it here. So, a married couple went to the hospital

A married couple went to the hospital so that the woman could give birth to her child. Upon their arrival the doctor told them that they invented a new machine where they could transfer some of the labor pain to the father. He asked them if they would like to try it and they agreed. So the doctor se...

A young couple was getting ready to give birth to their first child,

and they had determined that the child should not be named until after it was born, so that they could meet it and make the name based on that first magical moment. On the day of the birth, a beautiful baby girl was born and the parents were instantly smitten.

"It's 'Love.'" said the mother....

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