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Moor Jokes

Roy Moore refuses to concede the Alabama Senate race.

He keeps insisting that the black votes should only count for 3/5ths.

Roy Moore is no longer interested in this year..

Because it’s officially ‘18

Why was Roy Moore waiting outside the liquor store when it opened?

He heard they had a 14 year old Brandy

What's the difference between Roy Moore and an Anti-Vaxxer?

The Anti-vaxxer is against sticking it in kids

Two old farmers meet on a moor …

They had crossed paths numerous times over 20 years and never spoken a word. One day, one of the farmers stops and says to the other “My pig’s sick. Covered in red blotches and really looking ill.” The other one says “One of my pigs had the exact same thing. I gave her turpentine.” The next day they...

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Roy Moore says he’ll bring “Alabama values” to Washington, but I’m not so sure. I mean, he sexually assaulted teenage girls...

But he wasn’t related to any of ‘em!

Moore’s law states that the density of transistors doubles every two years.

This is usually done by making them smaller.

Therefore, less is Moore’s

I sure hope Roy Moore wins today

Alabama needs a congressman who isn't afraid to get his hands on the issues before they get too big.

Where do you moor two boats that contradict each other?

A paradox

Congress has finally made a decision and just announced that if Roy Moore wins the senate...

They will be ending their 'take your daughter to work' program.

Sir Roger Moore, prominent James bond actor has passed away

His family say that they are shaken.... but not stirred

Roy Moor arrived at the polling station on a horse

His assistant misunderstood when Roy said he wanted to ride a 6 Year old bareback

What is Roy Moore's favorite piano key?

A minor

So after Sonic Youth broke up Thurston Moore was asked did he have any regrets when it came to the band

And he said “Yeah, 100%”

Why do many people keeping buying Mudéjar art?

Because it is Moor-ish!

>!I realise that this joke is relying on fairly uncommon words like Mudéjar, Moor and moreish - which will reduce how many people will enjoy the joke. But I didn't think that should stop it from being shared. Words explained below!<

>!Mudéjar art: Refer...

Benjamin Moore just came out with a new paint called blonde

It's not very bright but it spreads easily

Why is Roy Moore avoiding COVID-19?

He’d much rather catch COVID-16.

Hey, Roy Moore; what's the weather forecast?

Tonight, we'll be dipping into the teens.

So Sir Roger Moore has sadly died.

You could say he is in Double 0 Heaven now

Why did Roy Moore lose the election?

There’s a minimum age for voting

What did former Alabama Senator Roy Moore say about coronavirus?

It's called COVID-19, means I ain't gettin' it.

Roy Moore demanded a recount

The results came back that she was 14 and a half.

Roy Moore missed the New Years Eve countdown.

He’s demanding a recount.

Why was Roy Moore a bad music teacher?

All he knew how to do was finger a minor.

Roy Moore likes his women the same way he likes his constitutional amendments...

12 and Under

Met Roy Moore at a bar once...

Chatted him up about wanting to hook up with twenty-nine year olds.

He looked at me with disbelief and asked "how are you going to do all twenty at once?"

Doug Jones just won the Senate race against Roy Moore

I guess you could say he got Moore votes.

Why did Roy Moore go to Walmart?

He heard that girl's pants were half off.

Why is Roy Moore so mad about the election anyways?

He normally likes coming in a little behind.

What does Roy Moore and an e-book have in common?

They're both pdf files.

Why does Roy Moore like D.C.

Because, while the temperature is 30°, the real feel is in the teens.

Trump endorsed Roy Moore but not Don Blankenship...

I guess it's all right to mess with minors, but miners are off limits.

What did President Trump call Roy Moore's senate loss?

*"A minor setback."*

I see that Gary Moore didn't get any upvotes.

He's Still Got the Blues.

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Why can't Roy Moore live in a Northern state?

Because if the outside temperature drops into the teens he might try to fuck it

Sean Connery passed away peacefully in his sleep at age 90, he and Roger Moore were good friends...

They shared a Bond.

Roy Moore is in bed with a girl, and says "pretend you're 14". She found that really weird...

Her birthday was in 4 months anyway.

The real reason Roy Moore wanted to be in D.C.

He hasn't been banned from the National Mall

Why did Desdemona ask Othello to take the condom off?

She wanted to do Moor with less.

We already know Roy Moore's positions on crime and immigration. But, what about his position on children?

Missionary, mostly.

You've heard Moore's law and Boyle's law but have you heard of Cole's law?

It's chopped cabbage. Thanks for the correction

What's the difference between Bob Ross and Roy Moore?

One's a doodler and the other's a diddler.

What does Roy Moore and a guitarist have in common?

They both enjoy fingering minors.

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Roy Moore was sentenced to 14 months in prison.

The judge said he would've given him 14 years, but he was worried that Moore would ejaculate upon hearing the sentence.

Roy Moore opened a clothing store in Birmingham, but it was quickly shut down.

Parents were pretty upset when they realized "Teen girls clothes always half off" was the entry policy, not a sale.

Roy Moore is not happy with the events that transpired tonight

He liked it better when the night was young

What does Roy Moore call a high school track meet?

Speed dating

I don't understand all the uproar about Roy Moore lately.

It seems like a minor issue to me.

What's the difference between 2015 and Moore's Law?

One's the year of the ram, the other is the ram of the year.

The weather suggests that turnout will be in Roy Moore's favor today.

It is expected to dip into the teens.

Guy: I'm writing "Transformers": a crossover fanfic where Othello encounters Sauron...

Other guy: "why's it called "Transformers"?"

Guy: Moor then meets The Eye

What is the difference between Roy Moore and an Anti-vaxxer?

Anti-vaxxers don't like to stick 'em while they're young.

In the Alabama senatorial race next week, Roy Moore is either going to win...

...or he's going to come in a little behind.

Did you see that Roy Moore had a high profile interview on Dateline NBC?

What was unfortunate for him is that it was with Chris Hansen, who started it by asking him to take a seat over there.

[NSFW] Why did Roy Moore never miss a local Girl Scouts' meeting?

Because Brownies are delicious.

Turns out that Roy Moore is having a bad influence on weather in Alabama.

The temperatures are flirting with the teens this week.

Alabamans were fine with Roy Moore dating teenagers as an adult until

they found out that he wasn't dating cousins.

What kind of spirits haunt an abandoned Benjamin Moore or Sherwin Williams?

Mineral spirits

Why is Roy Moore’s Strategic Planning Committee headquartered in Disney's Hollywood Hotel?

He likes to keep his staff in something 12 years old.

Tributes from around the globe are still pouring in after the death of Sir Roger Moore…

The one from Vladimir Putin read: "From Russia, with love."

I wanna ask Roy Moore voters how they feel about losing such a close race.

Unfortunately, I don’t speak Russian.

Wars in the Iberian Peninsula

Having forged a marriage alliance, the kingdoms of Castille and Aragon formed Spain, a united Catholic front to drive the Moors outside of Iberia.

One of the more important battles in the subsequent Reconquista was the siege of Cordoba. Though historians debate what exact tactics the command...

I’m really surprised that Roy Moore wants a recount in the Alabama election

Large gaps in numbers haven’t seemed to bother him before.

How did Othello enter Sauron’s kingdom?

Through the Moor door.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

...short story..

Last night I was watching an old Stalone / Banderas / Moore movie - Assassins, where Julianne Moore is telling a nice and old story that is worth following...

Once upon a time, there was a nonconforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter. However, soon the weather turned so c...

I just read the most amazing book about a Moroccan wedding officiant.

It's called *The Moor, the Marrier*

I told my coworker he should introduce himself like James Bond

The name's Moore, Steve Moore. At least that's what the ladies say.

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Michael Moore's first cut of a certain movie involved lots of pornstars and oral sex. But people didn't like it, so he cut that out. It wasn't the pornstars fault though.

They tried their best and were blowing for Columbine

Congratulations, your daughter is getting married.

Who is the lucky guy?

She is going to mary Tyler Moore.



Sorry for the terrible joke.

I hadn't picked up my guitar in years. But since quarantine started, I've....

Benjamin Moore

Nobody could understand Othello.

It's because he was speaking in Moor's code.

What does a sailing redditor tie up his boat to ?

A mooring repost, of course.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW I'm pretty sure James Bond was having sex in the hotel room next door last night!!!

All I kept hearing was his lover's voice screaming "***Roger Moore***"

True story from the in-laws.

Was at the in-laws' place (okay my girlfriend's parents') and was chatting with her father as grandpa was watching a James Bond film.

Father: Well, TheCapedMoose, who's the better bond, Shaun Connery or Roger Moore?

Me: I dunno, it's kind of a toss up...

Father: No it isn't, Sh...

Caesar: Veni, vidi, vici!

Roy Moore: Vidi, vici, veni.

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What's the difference between a 14-year old girl and a Ferrari?

Roy Moore doesn't have a Ferrari in his basement.

The Alabama Senate elections are in! And even though it was tight,

Roy Moore came in a little behind.

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I invented a new drink today; basically you start with a Shirley Temple and put a really old cocktail sausage in it.

I call it the "Judge Roy Moore".

Republicans: "We couldn't possibly lose Alabama!"

Roy Moore: "hold my beer kids"

How childish are Trump's tweets?

Let's just say Roy Moore would date them.

Dems haven't won a senate seat in Alabama since 1992

Unlike Roy Moore, they were capable of waiting 25 years.

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