Top joke in my second grade class this week: Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?

To make up for his miserable summer.

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A blonde girl in second grade comes home one day really excited with a large grin on her face,

Running to her mother she says, "Mom!! mom! Today the teacher asked what letter comes after S, and i was the first in class to say T! Is it because I'm smarter?" Her mom sighs, "Yes honey."

The very next day she runs home from school and with a large proud smile on her face she tells her moth...

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A teacher gives her students of second grade a task

to learn about a topic from a given list (which goes: food, water, cows, airplanes etc) and then present it in class the following
day. One of those students, went home and decided that he could present on the topic of cows, and learns some lines..
“A cow is an animal. It has 4 legs, one mout...

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Timmy is starting the second grade

On the first day of school, the teacher has baked cookies for the class.

When she gets to Timmy, he replies "I don't fucking want one."

The teacher is shocked but doesn't say anything. Fortunately, her webcam has recorded the incident.

She sends a note home with Timmy asking fo...

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Johnny goes to school on the first day of second grade

Johnny goes to school on the first day of second grade. The teacher asks each student to say their name.

Johnny replies, "my name is Johnny Fuckhour".

The teacher immediately scolds him and tells him that such language will not be tolerated.

"But that's my name," he protests....

What's long and hard on a hillbilly?

second grade.

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There is this child in 1st grade and he's doing poorly in school.

His dad is concerned and asked what he can do to help. The child tells his father "Dad, if you get me 2 pink ping pong balls, I'll get my grades up." The child gets 2 pink ping pong balls and gets his grades up and moves onto second grade.

In 2nd grade, he's not doing well again. He tells his...

A Russian Joke

One day in second grade class, Vovochka received another bad grade. He says to his teacher: "Marivanna, one day I will become a very big and very important person, and you will feel bad for failing me."

The teacher replies, "Putin, stop clowning around and sit down."

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It's the first day of 3rd grade...

Their teacher wanted them to behave more grown up since they were no longer in second grade.

As such, the teacher told them to use grownup words instead of baby words. She then asked them to tell her what they did during the summer.

Susie went first and said she went to see her Nana....

Johny was offered a nickel or a dime...

Johny was bullied by all the other second grade students. Every day, they would offer him either a dime or a nickel. Every time, he took the nickel. The kids would all laugh at him every time he took the nickel. One day a kid asked him why he always took the nickel, even though the dime was worth mo...

There was a cenior in high school named Joe.

Joe was an average kid. He played sports during the day, and he played video games at night. He hung out with his best friend Tommy after school every day. You know, average kid stuff. School was ending and the prom was coming up. Joe had this huge crush on this girl named Wendy. He'd liked her ever...

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An oldie but a goodie, middle school legend. Its worded in a way as if its a conversation, bear with me.

So there's this kid, kinda stupid, going to kindergarten. He's set to learn his alphabet. His teacher tells him to go.home, and memorize the first 3 letters of the alphabet.

He goes home, and goes to his mom, who's talking on the phone with her ex-boyfriend. She's talking away, things are ge...

Little John

Little Johnny was sitting in his second grade class when he looked out the window and saw two dogs screwing in the school yard. He jumped up and hollered, "Hey, everyone look at that" The teacher ran to the window and pulled the blind.

A little girl in the front row said, "Teacher, what was t...

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A joke from my grandpa.

It's the second grade and class has just begun. Mrs. Wood is doing a spelling pre-test.

Mrs. Wood: Mike, what does your dad do for work?

Mike: My dad is a plumber.

Mrs. Wood: Can you spell pipe?

Mike: P-I-P-E.

Mrs. Wood: Very good!

Mrs. Wood: Wong, what does...

What's the three toughest years of a bass player?

Second grade.

Old Soviet joke

On September 1, 1945, a second grade teacher asks her students who have war medals to share how they have helped the war effort.

A little girl raises her hand.

"Yes, Tanechka" says the teacher, "do you have something to share?"

Tanechka says "I was in the hospital helping to dre...

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Little Johnny goes camping

Little Johnny's Second Grade class is going camping for a class field trip. As nighttime comes, all the children get set up in their tents and get ready to fall asleep. A few hours go by, a storm approaches and thunder begins clapping, and little Johnny can't seem to sleep. Little Johnny gets out of...

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Fish jokes

One fish says to the other, “You drink like a fish.”
The other fish responds, “So do you.”

What did the sardine call the submarine?
A can of people.

What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line.

What fish is best to have in a boat?
A Sailfish.
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