people are like magnets

everyone i know must have had something in common with me

2 magnets walk into a bar

The negative magnet slides over to the positive magnet and says:

Hey, I think I’m attracted to you

My wife wants to get those alphabet fridge magnets

and I want no part of it. I don't want wake up to things spelled out on there like:

"*You're next*"


"*Look behind you*"


"*I'm leaving you and I took the kid.*"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Having a moustache is a total pussy magnet

Turns out magnets repel as well as attract.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cats are pussy magnets

But dogs get all the bitches

Hot women are like magnets

I don't understand them.

Y'now, I love talking about magnets

But it's quite the polarising topic.

Where do magnets grow?

In magnetic fields

I'm very pleased with my new fridge magnet

So far I've got eight fridges

Game Warden

Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water.
A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, “Excuse me, ladies, I’d like to see your fishing licenses.”
“We don’t have any,” replied the first blonde.
“Well, if yo...

They say kids are chick magnets and they weren't kidding!!!!

I grabbed one off a playground the other day and had 10 women running after me.

Eiffel Tower

*stood on Eiffel tower watching a beautiful sunset*


*Gets down on one knee*

*audible gasp*


Help my knee is made of magnets

A couple of magnets showed their positive side...

they got divorced.

You hear about the love struck super magnets?

Whenever they met face to face, they just couldn't seem to connect, however the moment one turned to walk away, they were nearly inseparable.

Chick magnet

Sam was a simple fellow, socially awkward, not very attractive, but he had high hopes for meeting girls on his long-awaited Florida vacation. Every day, he went to the beach in hopes of meeting someone special, but every day he was disappointed because all the girls seemed to hang around one certain...

You may become more attractive

If you eat magnets

What did the science teacher say when the kid was experimenting with magnets?

"May the force be with you"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Computer idiots (Warning: Old)

Any time you feel dumb, don't worry. Check out the following excerpts from a "Wall Street Journal" article by Jim Carlton. Lots of people are dumber than you.

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the many calls asking where the "Any" k...

Is it just me or...

Does anybody else find magnets really attractive.

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