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Magnets Jokes

I have a fetish for magnets

I don't know why, I just find them attractive.

Two magnets walk into a bar

Once they’re through the door, the immediately fly to other sides of the room.

The bartender comes up to one of them and asks “What happened to you two? I thought you were practically inseparable.

The magnet replies “After what happened this weekend…” It shakes its head. “It was so pol...

I'm very pleased with my new fridge magnet

So far I've got eight fridges

Redditors are like magnets

We attract flies and repel other humans away

2 magnets walk into a bar

The negative magnet slides over to the positive magnet and says:

Hey, I think I’m attracted to you

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cats are pussy magnets

But dogs get all the bitches

Y'now, I love talking about magnets

But it's quite the polarising topic.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am a pussy magnet.

Remember, magnets repel, too.

My wife wants to get those alphabet fridge magnets

and I want no part of it. I don't want wake up to things spelled out on there like:

"*You're next*"

Or

"*Look behind you*"

Or

"*I'm leaving you and I took the kid.*"

A couple of magnets showed their positive side...

they got divorced.

people are like magnets

everyone i know must have had something in common with me

Hot women are like magnets

I don't understand them.

They say kids are chick magnets and they weren't kidding!!!!

I grabbed one off a playground the other day and had 10 women running after me.

You hear about the love struck super magnets?

Whenever they met face to face, they just couldn't seem to connect, however the moment one turned to walk away, they were nearly inseparable.

Chick magnet

Sam was a simple fellow, socially awkward, not very attractive, but he had high hopes for meeting girls on his long-awaited Florida vacation. Every day, he went to the beach in hopes of meeting someone special, but every day he was disappointed because all the girls seemed to hang around one certain...

Fishing

Three blonds are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with lines in the water. A game warden comes up behind them and says, Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing license. said the game warden.But officer, replied the second blond, we aren't fishing. We all have magnets at t...

You may become more attractive

If you eat magnets

What attracts knights in shining armor even more than damsels in distress?

Magnets

Boris saves Christmas .....

Driver shortages will soon be a thing of the past as Boris has personally ordered 50000 fridge magnets from Amazon today. A reporter asked how that will help to which trolley replies "well we know there are two poles in a magnet..."

As they stood on top of The Eiffel Tower, watching a beautiful sunset, he got down on one knee and said, “Honey?”

She gasped audibly and said, “Yeah?”

He said, “Help! My replacement knee is made of magnets.”

What did the science teacher say when the kid was experimenting with magnets?

"May the force be with you"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Computer idiots (Warning: Old)

Any time you feel dumb, don't worry. Check out the following excerpts from a "Wall Street Journal" article by Jim Carlton. Lots of people are dumber than you.

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the many calls asking where the "Any" k...

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