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Schoolyard Jokes

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers

The first boy says, “My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.”

The second boy says, “That’s nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.”

The third boy says, “I got you both beat. My Dad...

Three boys talk in the schoolyard:

Boy one: "You know, my mom's mouth is so big, that she can swallow a whole cinnamon bun in one bite!"

Boy two: "Whatever, my mom can swallow a panini with just one bite!"

Boy three: "Those are rookie numbers! My mom can swallow a whole floor lamp in one gulp!"

Boy one and boy tw...

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are.

The first one says, "Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow."

The second boy says, "Ha! You think that's fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet!"

The third one listen...

There's a fat man in a schoolyard.

A mother approaches him and asks:

"Are you waiting for a child?"

So he replies:

"No, I'm just fat"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A schoolyard bully is picking on a nerd and says, "Hey, loser, see that guy over there? He told me your mother fucked a donkey, and you're the result!"

The nerd gets upset and says, "Ignore him! Hee-haw, hee-haw, hehaways says that."

So Rene points to Gorgias in the schoolyard and says, "you're a stupid solipsist...".

...and Gorgias says, "I know you are but what I am."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A priest and a rabi are on a walk together when the pass a schoolyard with children playing in it.

The priest says, "Should we fuck them?" The rabi says "Out of what?"

I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming…

They Don’t Know I’m Only Using Blanks.

A schoolyard bully asked all of his usual victims to get together and be waiting for him so he could get through all of his beatings quickly this time, but none of them showed up.

End of joke. There was no punchline.

"I just love a girl in uniform"

Appropriate on the battlefield, but not at your local schoolyard.

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