UPJOKE
talmudchabadtorahshabbatmishnahyeshivahkollelmesivtarabbihebrew languagebeth midrashhasidic judaismmidrashahalachajewish

Yeshiva Jokes

Yeshiva crew

A yeshiva decides to start a crew team. But no matter how much they practice, they lose every single race. Eventually they decide to send one boy down to the nearby prep school as a spy, to watch their winning crew team and find out what their secret is.

After a day of reconnaissance, the bo...

Jewish Thinking

A Jewish couple is sitting together on an airplane flying to the Far East. Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces,

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and this plane will be going down momentarily.

L...

The rowing team

Yeshiva University had a rowing team, and every meet they came in dead last. Meet after meet, last, last, last. It was horrible. So they decided to send a spy to Harvard to see how they trained.

When the spy returned from Harvard the entire team gathered around to hear the report.

"Wel...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Real Rabbi Joke

OK - so many years ago, i was actually a practicing jew, in a yeshiva no less. The rabbi's would sometimes tell us jokes. most were awful. this one i thought was amusing. in a reddit filled with old reposts, i think it'll at least be a bit fresh.

A long time ago there was a small jewish commu...

Catholic School

So there's a bad jewish kid and he swears all the time. He gets expelled from school. His behavior combined with the town he lives in being so small where everyone knows everyone's business, causes his family to become pariahs.

Desperate for a solution, the parents ask the local Rabbi for h...

Wisdom of the Ancients

Two girls Have reached the ripe age of 18 in the small Russian Jewish town, but there's no groom in sight. The town's rabbi sends a letter to nearest Yeshiva to send proper grooms. Yossl and Yitzi are picked for the task and are sent on a train, to meet the prospective brides. Halfway there, Yitzi t...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.