Santa's Lap Jokes - 9 Hilarious Santa's Lap Jokes

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A little boy is sitting on Santa's lap at the mall...

A little boy was sitting on Santa's lap in the mall and he told Santa, "I want a fuckin' skateboard under my bed, a fuckin' bike in the garage, and a fuckin' train-set under the tree."

Santa said, "OK," and went over to the little boy's parents. Santa told them, "If you really want to stop...

What is the scientific name for a child's fear of sitting on Santa's lap at the mall?

Claustrophobia

A little girl sits on Santa's lap and asks him for a Barbie and a GI Joe.

"Well little girl, you can certainly have that, but doesn't Barbie usually come with Ken?"

"Oh no, Santa, Barbie fakes it with Ken, she comes with GI Joe."

Christmas pick up lines

Christmas PickUp Lines: Let's both be naughty this year and save Santa the trip.

Is your name Jingle Bells, 'cause you look like you'd go all the way.

Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas? Shouldn't you be on the top of the tree, Angel? H...

I wanna banana from earth.

It's Christmas time, and a little boy is sitting on the mall Santa's lap.

"And what do you want for Christmas?" Santa asks with a smile.

"I wanna banana from Earth." He says, looking a little annoyed.

Santa, somewhat confused, asks the boy. "From earth?"

"Yes" The boy ret...

A little boy wanted to go see Santa...

So he asked him mother to take him. His mom told him "Honey, I have business to take care of but if you behave yourself after my errands I'll take you to see Santa."

So the little boy manages to behave all day, and as promised his mom takes him to see Santa. He is fidgeting and squirming aro...

Christmas gift

A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her turn, she climbs up on Santa's lap. Santa asks, "What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?"

The little girl replies, "I want a Barbie and a G.I. Joe."

Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says, "I thought Barbi...

I'd like, my very first pubic hair!

A small girl sits on Santa's lap at the shopping mall. He asks her 'and what would YOU like for Christmas, little girl?'
She thinks for a moment and says 'umm, I'd like my very first pubic hair!'
Santa: 'no problem! Is it okay if it's a gray one?'

A touching moment with Santa...

Little Johnny climbs onto Santa's lap at the department store.

Santa says, "I'll bet I know what you want for Christmas."

And with his index finger he taps the boy on the nose with every letter he spells, "T-O-Y-S."

The little boy answers, "No, I have enough toys."

Sa...

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