The 41+ Best Sadly Jokes

A life-long atheist dies and is surprised to find himself before the Pearly Gates. St. Peter sadly shakes his head and tells him that because of his non-belief, he must be sent to Hell. The Devil greets him there and shows him where he will now spend eternity,

a lovely cozy cottage set on a beautiful hillside where the sweet smell of flowers fills the air. The Devil tells him he will want for nothing and to feel free to walk the grounds. One day, while he is out strolling through the idyllic gardens, he comes across a tall wall. Curious, he climbs one of ...

I was so excited to show my teacher my Reddit joke, but sadly she wasn't in today, so...

...the subreddit.

A blind woman got on a bus. Sadly, all the seats were taken.

A man noticed that no one else on the bus was willing to give up their seat for the blind woman, so he kindly guided her to his seat and took a standing spot. As the bus started up, the man frowned at the others for their selfishness.

Later that day, the man came home in tears, covered in bru...

An old joke from my childhood that is sadly relevant again.

**Bert and Ernie had worked together as radio hosts for twenty years.**

They traded jokes, played pop music and generally made people's lives a touch brighter as they trundled to work.

In one of the breaks they received a Fax. Ernie picked up the page and was in shock. Ernie silentl...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer buys a young cock

As soon as he gets home it fucks all of his 150 hens.
The farmer is impressed. At lunch, the cock again screws all 150 hens.

Next day it's fucking the ducks and the geese too.

Sadly, later in the day the farmer finds the cock lying on the ground half-dead and vultures circling over...

I used to play violin in a string quartet. Sadly one of our musicians was on drugs.

So we've had to ban Jo.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

For years, my wife and I had sex as soon as we woke up. Sadly, she passed away.

Now I wake up every day with mourning wood.

My little brother won a goldfish at the local fair. Sadly, the next morning he was floating dead in his little pond.

So now I have to look after the fish.

Squirrels and Religion

Squirrels and Religion

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they should not interfere with God’s divine will.

At...

Sadly that shop didn’t have any small shiny discs either.

“Sorry”, said the cashier, “we don’t have any in stock.”

A lady went into an embroidery shop to buy some fancy beads for her dress.

So she tried another shop down the road.

Like this joke, the shops were all out of sequins.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer who raised chickens had just bought a young rooster and put it in his coop...

Soon the young rooster struts up to the old one and says, "Okay you old fart, time for you to retire. I'm in charge of the hens, now."

"Are you sure?" the old rooster asks, "It's pretty challenging watching over all these hens and keeping them in line, especially for a youngster who doesn't h...

I have so many jokes about unemployed people

But sadly they don't work.

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. I mean you haven't done a...

A man takes his seat at the World Cup final. He looks over and notices there's an extra seat in between himself and the next guy..

The man says, "Who would ever miss the World Cup final?”

The guy replies, "Well that was my wife’s seat. We have been to the last five World Cup finals together, but sadly she passed away.”

That's terrible but that's so sweet of you to still reserve a seat for her. The man says back, "...

Sadly, I've lost 20% of my sight

Sigh.....

Have you heard about the Redditor who tried to become a fencer? Sadly he wasn't very good because he only knew one move:

The riposte.

My Friend who was obsessed with the Monkees sadly passed away this week

So I sent his family Micky Dolenzes

A man was standing on the corner when an old van from the 1980's drove by ...

... it had a long whip antenna attached to its side. Tragically however the clasp holding to the van at the end closest to the rear doors broke off just as the van was rounding the corner. The whip antenna sprung free and nicked the man's arm. He didn't think much of it at the time, but later h...

A director wanted to make a movie about Batman, but sadly D.C. wouldn't allow him to film it.

He decided he would just make the movie anyway, but instead of using the character's real names he would take away the last letter of their names.

Batman became Batma and he fought crime with his trusty partners Alfre and Robi. The film then showed the dynamic duo and their butler fighting cr...

Men are very sensitive..

Some construction workers are working on a high building early in the morning.

Sadly, Steve slips off a ledge, spirals down to the ground and is critically injured.

They attempt to save him with CPR, but there is a large hole in his skull that the blood keeps squirting out of, and he...

Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window...

If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in...

My buddy and I both wanted to marry a woman who happened to be an amputee. Sadly my buddy won her heart

But I got her leg

A Chinese doctor can't find a job in an America, so he opens his own clinic...

Six months later, a lawyer walks by the clinic and notices there's a sign outside that says "TREATMENT COST $20, IF WE CAN'T CURE YOU GET $100 BACK."
The lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic. The doctor comes right up to him as he enters.

Doctor: "W...

A Engineering Student commited su*cide by jumping off a building. He had a lot of potential...

But sadly that turned into Kinetic Energy.

My grandfather went to war in a dogsled.

Sadly he was sleighn.

I longed to cruise through the majestic, towering cliffs and deep glacial sea inlets of Norway and Iceland. Sadly, the cost was more than my salary...

I couldn't a-**fjord** it.

We looked at a WeHo townhouse that we liked very much but sadly this place was next door to the large West Hollywood fire department station.

So I guess you could say it was in WEhoWEhoWehooooo.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day, Billy's teacher asked him, " I heard your mom had a baby. What did she have?"

Billy paused and thought for a moment and said, "I think she had a bicycle."

"Now Billy, you know that your mom didn't have a bicycle. What did she have?"

"Maybe it was a tricycle."

"Billy, don't stand there and lie to me. We're going to the principal's office right now!"
...

This order was renowned for their beautiful choral singing. They trained, hours every day, refining their voices and their art....

Their song floated down the mountainside, enriching the lives and souls of the townspeople below.

Sam was particularly gifted, and on his 19th birthday, in mid-song, he hit upon a beautifully intricate note of pure magic. Everyone within miles just froze in mid action, stirred to the very...

My grandpa once told me he dated Marie Curie.

He was attracted to her glowing spirit and radiant personality.

Sadly, their relationship became toxic.

A man is about to walk into a bar known for having lots of beautiful women, when a bouncer stops him at the door.

The bouncer says, "We have a dress policy where ties are mandatory for men, and you are just wearing a shirt that's open at the collar. So sorry, I can't let you in."

So the man returns to his vehicle, to see if he has a tie anywhere. Sadly, he doesn't, but while looking, he notices a set o...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two 70 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives.

When it's clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day.

One day Mike says, "Joe, we both loved football all our lives, and we played football on Saturdays together for so many years. Please do me one favour, when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's football there...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dwayne Johnson paid me to clean up and organize his craft room, but sadly, I lost his scrapbook cutting tool.

I lost the Rock’s paper scissors.

The only cow in a small town in Poland stopped giving milk...

The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow from Moscow for 2,000 rubles, or one from Minsk for 1,000 rubles. Being frugal, they bought the cow from Minsk. The cow was wonderful.

It produced lots of milk all the time, and the people were amazed and very happy. The...

Sadly, Maradonna has passed away

The plus side is God finally gets his hand back

My friend sadly went to jail for something he didn't do.

He didn't wipe the fingerprints off of his gun.

Sadly I had to leave my job at the cat rescue centre.

They cut meowers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sadly I think my family are a bunch of racists.

I started dating a black girl recently, so I decided to bring her home to meet the family.

The kids wouldn't talk to her and my wife told me to pack my bags and leave.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My blind girlfriend said I had a huge penis

Sadly she was just pulling my leg

A Nasty Divorce

On the first day, he sadly packed his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his things. On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light; he put on some soft background music, and feaste...

In the 1930s, a farmer attempted to steal cows from a neighbouring farm.

He became a bit of a local legend. No one knew exactly why he stole them, and we still don’t know to this day. Some say he was just in a desperate situation, some say these cows had been abused and that he was rescuing them, some say he was just a greedy old farmer.

He attempted this great bo...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.