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Sorrowful Jokes

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A man walks up to his friend looking sad.

“Somebody stole my thesaurus!” He groans.
“And my dictionary to boot!”

His friend put a reassuring hand on his shoulder and gives him a soft smile.

“How sorrowful my dear companion that such a lamentable circumstance has befallen you. I will pray that the perpetrator be swiftly a...

Once there was an inflatable boy.

He lived in his inflatable house with his inflatable parents, and every morning when the inflatable clock struck seven, he would come down the inflatable stairs and eat his breakfast at the inflatable table, then go and catch the inflatable bus to his inflatable school.

But one day for some r...

I was mourning one of my friend in cemetery

and when leaving, I noticed a guy kneeling to a tombstone beside, he was extremely sorrowful, I’ve never seen a guy could cry like that.

I took a glance at him, but he didn’t noticed, he just kept repeating, “Why did you die? Why did you die?”

So, I walked to him, and said, “Sorr...

A men on his deathbed was speaking to his wife

"Dear wife. As I'm going to leave I need to make some confessions to you. You remember the time we went camping? I cheated on you with the hippies next tent."

"Oh Darling" answers the wife with a sorrowful face "I suspected it but it is forgiven."

The man continues "And when this nice ...

A bereaved widow goes to view her husband's body in the mortuary....

The mortuary assistant opens the casket, and bows his head solemnly. Upon seeing her husband, the widow starts crying huge tears and wailing loudly. The assistant quickly moves to comfort her.

Still wailing, the widow explains that she can't bear to see her husband wearing a suit. In life he ...

The Sun's Birthday

It's the Sun's birthday, so the whole Solar system is thinking about gifts. Earth, after thinking for a while, decides to gift the Sun the element Technetium, since it's a gift that no other planet could have given. The party goes by, and the Sun accepts the Technetium graciously and politely.
<...

Jon Arbuckle and Garfield have a serious conversation…

After a particularly satisfying lasagna dinner, Garfield is feeling curious about his life and how he came to be.

“Jon, where did my name come from?”

Jon Arbuckle looks instantly sorrowful and begins to tear up.

“I wondered when you would ask me that, old pal,” he responds, soun...

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A man with no arms and no legs sits at the beach pondering his lonely life

3 beautiful women walk by and the first woman taking pity on the man walks up and asks "Have you ever been hugged before?"

"No" says the man. So she hugs him and walks on.

The 2nd woman also taking pity on the man, walks up and asks "Have you ever been kissed before?"

"No" the m...

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Is that a frog in your pocket …?

A man surveys the women in a nightclub, picks out the most attractive, and takes a seat next to her at the bar. He uses all his best lines, but gets nowhere. Finally, he reaches into his pocket, takes out a small box, and pulls a frog out of it.

‘Cute,’ says the woman. ‘Is that a pet?’
...

A vet, a banker and a barber walk into a bar.

After a few drinks the banker gloomily says:

“although business has been booming most of the funds have beent going to my cats medication, sadly Bartholomew got run over by a blue honda; i wish i could of seen the driver and give him what he desreves”

With the drinks opening them up t...

Age Of innocence

“Mommy, my turtle’s dead,” Andrew sorrowfully told his mother, holding the turtle out to her.

His mother kissed him on the head and said, “That’s all right. We’ll wrap him in tissue paper, put him in a little box, and then have a nice burial ceremony in the backyard. After that, we’ll go out ...

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hangs his head in disappointment and shame, knowing he's contracted an STD,

A old man who's been in a nursing home for many years starts bugging the administrator to let him have a weekend pass, to 'sow his last wild oats', he says, before he finally passes on. Every week he asks the same question and every week he's turned down.
Months later there's a change of staff, w...

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An old lady goes into a bank...

Coutt's Bank, to be exact, and asks to open an account. She is told, politely but coolly, that they are a very exclusive bank and have stringent requirements for prospective clients. "I know," she says. "May I see the manager, please?"

She is shown into the manager's office and repeats her re...

Jesus is wandering through the desert

Jesus is wandering through the desert, desperately seeking his father. It has been 40 days and 40 nights since he last rested or had a meal and he is exhausted.

Just as he thinks he can't take it any more, he sees a figure on the distant horizon. He manages to summon up the energy to stumble ...

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