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Rooting Jokes

A guy sits down on a bench next to a Thai kid wearing soccer cleats.

"So, who are you rooting for in the World Cup Final?" the man asks, noticing the soccer gear.

"I don't know, who's playing?" the boy answers.

"Jesus Christ, have you been under a rock or something?"

Who's rooting for the Bengals to win the superbowl more than anyone?

Jared Goff.

How do you stop a fight between two blind men?

Just say you're rooting for the man with the knife.

I saw two blind people fighting...

and I shouted, "I'm rooting for the one with the knife!" They both ran away.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Frenchman, an American and an Australian are in a pub...

And the Frenchman says, "When I make love to my wife she’s in such ecstasy her body rises centimetres off the bed."

The American, not to be outdone, replies, "When I have sex with my wife she’s having so much fun she rises inches off the bed."

They both then look at the Australian and ...

Two thieves are rooting through a farmer's shed

The farmer sneaks up on the shed and locks the door from the outside trapping the two thieves inside. So he calls the OPP (Ontario Provincial Police) and tells them he has the two thieves locked in his shed and to come and arrest them. The dispatch says that they are really busy and will get there...

Rooting for the Dallas Cowboys is the most authentic fan experience in sports.

Just like them, you too can watch the playoffs from the comfort of your couch at home.

I'm rooting for Switzerland in the World Cup.

I don't know much about the team, but their flag is a big plus.

Bro, I just want you to know, I'm rooting for you...

Your blind wife has no idea I'm not you

While I don’t believe Belichick is rooting for Brady, I absolutely believe Bob Kraft wants Brady to win one more before he retires...

What can I say? Bob Kraft just loves a happy ending.

A couple of cannibals are rooting through the freezer looking for something for supper

One says to the other, "how about the rest of that Jewish guy from last week?"

The other cannibal replies, "I can't, my doctor told me cut down on Hasidic food."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I was rooting this sheep the other day...

...when this dog came up behind me and licked my ass. It actually felt really nice and helped me cum, but I couldn't help but think, "God damnit, dogs are dirty animals."

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