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Root Beer Jokes

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I poured root beer in a square glass.

Now I have beer.

What’s a dog’s favorite kind of root beer?

Barq’s

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A mathematician walks into a bar

A mathematician walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer.


The bartender says, "Sorry but we've run out of beer. We have only root beer for today."


"No problem", replies the mathematician. "Just serve me in a square glass."

I Found a Wasp in my Alcoholic Root Beer

You could say it's.. buzzed.

My kid asked me what root beer was made of...

I told him beer squared.

Original joke. May have been made before but i thought it was ~~funny~~corny.

How do you make a whale float?

Two scoops of ice cream, some root beer, and a whale.

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a dog walks into a bar

he orders a root beer and a plate of fries.

“holy shit!” bartender says, “a talking dog, you should join the circus!”

“circus?” the dog says, “why, are they hiring an electrician?”

A mathematician walks into a bar

A mathematician walks into a bar and orders a root beer. The bartender brings him one. "You idiot. You poured it into a square glass," the mathematician complains. "Now I just have beer."

What is a tree’s favorite drink?

Root beer!


I need help

A group of 8 year old kids mysteriously get drunk at a slumber party

A boy has 5 of his friends over for a slumber party. His friends mom buys the kids two 2 liter bottles of Root Beer and begins serving it to the kids. Before the kids get through the first bottle they begin to act drunk, and the parents begin to notice that they smell like alcohol. One of the kid...

An ocean liner is sailing in the North Atlantic and hits an iceberg.

As the ship is sinking, one crewman runs to the ship’s captain and tells him to open the root beer caskets in the ship’s hold.

The captain is confused but has no other options, so he orders all of the ship’s root beer caskets cut open. The root beer floods the hold and the ship slowly stops s...

Why did I spill root beer on a DNS server?

Just because ICANN.

FLOAT

Someone asked me to make a root beer float I kindly asked him to go outside, he agreed and I made the root beer and tied some balloons. I still have no idea why he was mad.

A man is captured by pirates...

The pirates tell the man that they will throw him over the ship into the ocean but tell him he can have one last meal before he goes

He tells them he wants nothing but root beer, although confused, the pirates grant him his one last request

The man drinks the root beer until he feels f...

My mathematical friend came over one day.

They asked if I had any beer. I said no, but I have some root beer and square glasses to drink from.

A programmer walks into a bar...

He orders 1.000000119 root beers.

The bartender says, “ I’m gonna have to charge you extra, that’s a root beer float.”

The programmer says, “Well in that case make it a double.”

A child mathematic walks into a bar

He asks for a root beer in a square cup. He later Sue's the bar for serving alcohol to a child

Joke from a popsicle: what did the cheerleader drink before the big game?

A root beer

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An Irishman walks into an American restaurant during the era of prohibition

He asks the waiter "give me a glass of stout to see how it compares to Guinness back home."
The waiter replies "I apologize but alcoholic beverages are illegal in this country, might I offer you a glass of water?"

The Irishman, having heard that this restaurant has a speakeasy in the back ...

What is a Mathematician's favorite thing to drink?

Root beer.

(tbh: found on a Laffy taffy wrapper)

I Walk Into A Bar

I sit down and ask the bartender for a drink.

He gets me a drink and I drink it.

Then I pay him and walk out.

I then get in my car and drive to the supermarket.

I arrive at the supermarket and get out of my car.

I go up to the entrance and grab a shopping cart...

Tree men walk into a bar

They order root beer and leaf before paying.

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A blonde was standing in front of a soda machine outside of a local store.

After putting in sixty cents, a root beer pops out of the machine. She set it on the ground, puts sixty more cents into the machine, and pushes another button; suddenly, a coke comes out the machine! She continued to do this until a man waiting to use the machine became impatient.

"Excuse m...

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I took the family to an amusement park and they all got thirsty at once.

Fortunately we were close to a big soda shop, a circular building with lines of varying lengths standing at most of the windows.

"Excuse me," I asked a park employee, "Which window do we go to?"

"Each window is for a different drink, so just go straight to the one for what you want. If...

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