UPJOKE
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Robotic Arm

A man's (lets call him John) arm is mangled in an accident and needs to have it amputated.

The doctors fit John with a new high tech robotic arm that is voice activated. The doctor has John run through some tests by placing a pen on the table on front of him and having him tell the arm to ...

Did you hear that Apple is developing a robotic service dog?

It’s called the iChihuahua.
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What makes Al Gore so robotic?

His Al Gore rhythm
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I bought a robotic penis that attaches between my forearm and my fingers.

It seems quite futurewristdick.

I recently got three robotic appendages

It’s such a relief not to have to go out on a limb to get the groceries.
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What do you call a robotic horse?

A woahh-bot
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The caretaker of a generation ship was on his death bed

Many years before, Jacques had helped place all his friends and family into cryogenic sleep. He was a young man then and they all knew that he would likely be long dead by the time they reached their destination. They said their tearful goodbyes and drifted off to sleep.

In the years he spent...
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How does a robotic Muslim pray?

Towards Mecha.
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A popular bar had a new robotic bartender installed.

A guy came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?"

The man replied, "130."

So the robot proceeded to make conversation about physics, astronomy, and so on. The man listened intently and thought, "This is really cool."

Another guy came in for a drink and th...
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Where do baby robotic vacuums come from?

The Woomba

I'll show myself out.
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Did you hear about the new store where you can plug in robotic limbs?

It's great even though they charge an arm and a leg.
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What do you call a robotic emo that likes dark humor.

Cutting edge technology
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Startup idea: A robotic arm that automatically swaps out your NES cartridges for you.

Sure, you say it's a ludicrous idea, that it wouldn't have worked even if it was 30 years ago, the market doesn't exist, it's doomed to fail, etc.



But I'm telling you, it's gonna be a game changer.
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I used to be brilliant at robotic dancing.

I’m a bit rusty now though.
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What the robotic fingers say to the face?

A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. He decides to test it at dinner.
He asks his son, "Son, where were you today during school hours?"
"At school."
The robot slaps the son.
"Okay, I went to the movies!"
The father asks, "Which one?"
"Harry Potter."
...

Police responded to a reported burglary at Tesla’s robotics lab.

It was an Optimus crime.
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My friend works at NASA developing robotic exploration vehicles...

A few years back he was intensely busy with a major project involving a multi-million-dollar remote-controlled rover, often sleeping at the lab and coming home only once every 3-4 days to shower, change clothes, and feed his cats. One of his cats got sick at that time, but he didn't even have time t...

What do you call a Robotic Abortion Doctor?

The Terminator
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