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Homonym Jokes

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Two scientists walk into a bar.

"I'll have H2O," says the first.

"I'll have H2O, too," says the second.

The bartender gives them both water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical function of homonyms in coda position, as well as pragmatic context.

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I yelled at a friend because in her email she used 'peak' instead of 'peak', 'hear' instead of 'here' and other, similar mistakes.

I engaged in an ad homonym attack.

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Know your homonyms

As teacher was correcting essays written by her students she read, "Pedro jumped on his burrow and rode off into the sunset."

She wrote at the bottom of the page, "You obviously have problems with homonyms. A burrow is a hole in the ground. A burro is an ass. At your age it's time to lea...

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When people use the wrong homonyms it irritates me

I know the pane, I've been their before.

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I got a call from my brother the other day...

I found out he was diagnosed with an intense fear of wanting to have sex with other men; Homonymphobia. Which really freaked me out because I have a fear of words that sound the same but mean different things.

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During debates, when my opponents said a word that had different meanings based on its spelling, I would take advantage of it and use the word's other meaning to attack them personally.

It was an ad homonym.

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What do you say when you want to use the word "gay" to mean happy?

No Homonym

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Define Homophobic

having or showing a dislike of or prejudice against homophones and homonyms

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What do you call an invalidation of someone's argument because they cannot differentiate between their and they're?

ad homonym

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So a Jewish family has a baby!

It's a beautiful baby boy, and they love him very much. The dad wants to know, however, what the little boy will grow up to be like. So he takes the baby to the Rabbi, who says that there's a simple test. On a long table, the Rabbi places a stack of money, a bottle of whiskey, and a Torah. "If y...

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