I floss religiously.

Every Easter and Christmas.

I go to the gym religiously...

about twice a year around holidays.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Warning: to some, this joke is sexist / religiously offensive (but I don't agree)

Three men die and go to heaven.

When they arrive at the Pearly Gates, St. Peter says to them, "Congratulations; you made it into heaven! God has one rule, however, which is: **YOU CANNOT STEP ON, KILL, OR TOUCH A DUCK.** If you do, you will be punished.**"**

The men think this is rath...

I am not worried about getting sick. I wash my hands religiously.

Every Christmas and Easter.

I know a guy who religiously gets his teeth checked once per week

. He's a Seventh Day A Dentist

I exercise religiously

I go to the gym for an hour on Sunday morning and then don't think about it again for the rest of the week.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman goes to Dr. Johnson to increase...

...the size of her breasts. Dr. Johnson gives her a series of rhythmic arm movements to do and tells her to also repeat “If I do this like I must, I will increase my bust”.
Additionally she must do the exercises twice a day at 10am and 2pm. After two weeks she sees improvement and so she does bot...

My dentist took a look in my mouth and said, "Your gums look awful. I told you to floss religiously."

I do, I said, I floss on Christmas and Easter.

I exercise religiously.

I was on the treadmill earlier praying that it would stop.

If body builders religiously try to gain weight..

Does that mean they go to the gym for mass?

My Doctor says I need to start exercising religiously.

So now I hit the gym on Christmas and Easter.

This year I've decided I'm going to exercise religiously...

That means I'm going to work out on Easter and Christmas and I'm done.

A tough old rancher once told his grandson that the secret to a long life was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning.

The grandson did this religiously, and he lived to be 97. When he died, he left behind 14 children, 27 grandchildren, 34 great-grandchildren and a 15-foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.

I track my calories religiously every day.

First they are on my plate and then I put them in my mouth

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