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Atheism Jokes

Atheism and Religion are but two sides of the same coin.

One prefers to use its head, while the other relies on tales.
(Joke Originally from The Joke Cafe - http://thejokecafe.com )

If atheism was a business, what kind of business would it be?

A Non-Prophet organization.

r/atheism is like a pizza cutter

All edge with no point

Mike Tyson said he was going to convert me to atheism

At least I'm pretty sure that's what he meant by "I'm gonna break your faith!"

I found r/atheism the other day

Still can't believe it

What is atheism?

A non - prophet organization

Atheism is a non-prophet organization

As the storm raged,the captain realized his ship was sinking fast.

So he shouted out, "Anyone here know how to pray?"

Just one guy stepped forward and said, "Aye, captain,I know how to pray."

"Good,"said the captain, "You pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets - we're...

What is atheism?

A non-prophet religion

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Celibacy and atheism are quite similar.

One is avoiding sex, and the other is avoiding sects.

At my exam on religion I was given a multiple choice question to define atheism

Eventually I checked "none of the above."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An atheist and a little girl.

*The folks at /r/atheism won't like this joke.*

An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned
to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike
up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just started ...

What is atheism

A non-prothet activity

Atheism is like the 8th grade...

once you turn 15 you generally stop bragging about it.

I found out my friend was running a charity for atheism.

He said it was a non-prophet organization.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two marble statues, one of a man and one of a woman, are in a park facing each other.

An angel comes down and says "I've been watching you for years and I've seen the desire in your hearts. I'm going to make you fully human for 20 minutes so you can fulfil that desire. The statues look at each other, run behind some bushes and go at it. Ten minutes later they come back with big grins...

Just want to give a shoutout to my church for finally getting through to me and making me a firm believer.

In atheism.

Christians go to church and have to pay tithings

But Atheism is a non prophet organization.

One of the funniest jokes on reddit.

/r/atheism

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A comprehensive observation about common religions and religious practices.

Jainism: You must not disturb shit

Bhuddism: You must become one with the shit.

Taoism: Shit happens

Shintoism: Our ancestors thought of this shit.

Hinduism: Eating meat makes you a shit person.

Paganism: Here's some shit that represents other shit.

Reform J...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Religious Shit

Taoism: Shit happens.

Buddhism: If shit happens, it's not really shit.

Islam: If shit happens, it's the will of Allah.

Protestantism: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.

Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?

Hinduism: This shit happened befo...

How do you know you're not logged into reddit?

There are /r/atheism posts on the frontpage

Friedrich Nietzsche Dies

As he ascends up to heaven, he begins to get worried that he might be wrong about atheism. He gets even more worried when he finally reaches heaven, and it looks just like how all those religious people said it would.

Then an old man with a big white beard comes up to him, and says "I'm God, ...

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