Reese's Jokes - 11 Hilarious Reese's Jokes

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The only candy I'll eat is Reese's peanut butter cups.

I'm a Reecist.

My brother was murdered today

cop: do you mind identifying the body \[puts hand on my shoulder\] I have to warn you the body was hacked up.

me: \[tearing up\] yes that's my brother Reese.

cop: you're sure?

me: \[nodding\] those are Reese's Pieces.

Did you know the inventor of Reese's Pieces has a master's in biology specializing in monkeys?

He did a Rhesus thesis.

How do you eat Reese's puffs?

Witherspoon

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"There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's"

...said the guy who didn't just shove a bunch of Reese's in his ass.

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What do you get when you stick two Reese's Peanut Butter Cups together?

A Peanut Butter Pint.

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What do you call a mini-golf club made of wasp testicles that's covered in Reese's Pieces?

A peanut butter bee-nut putter.

Guys, I've already failed No Nut November

I'm eating my reese's as we speak

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There's a 4 year old and a 7 year old.

The 7 year old says, "Hey, let's say bad words!" The 4 year old says okay, so they go downstairs. They see their mom and she asks the boys what they want. The 7 year old says, "Give me some god damn Reese's Puffs." The mom slaps him and asks the 4 year old what he wants. The 4 year old says, "You be...

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Last Halloween

Last Halloween, I went to a costume party. I spot a guy dressed in a monkey costume with a jar of peanut butter in one hand and a chocolate bar in the other. I asked him what he was dressed as, and he replied, "Me? I am a Reese's Monkey."

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So a guy walked into a bar and asked how to become a cupcake...

So, a guy walked into a bar and he saw a cupcake. He went up to the cupcake and asked, "How do I become a cupcake?"

The cupcake replied, "You have to eat a cupcake to become a cupcake."

So the guy left to go eat a cupcake and the next night he returned to the bar. He then saw a chocola...

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