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Recovering Alcoholic Jokes

A recovering alcoholic swedish horse walks into a bar.

The bar tender asks, "Can I get you a drink?"

The horse says, "Nej."

My father is a recovering alcoholic.

I've never seen him this hungover.

What does a lawyer and a recovering alcoholic both do?

Pass the bar

Two recovering alcoholics decided to write a song together...

but they couldn't get past the first two bars.

I’m a recovering alcoholic.

I didn’t quit drinking, I’m just recovering from last night.

My friend is a recovering alcoholic.

"As long as people stop reminding me about alcohol, I'll be fine," he declared.

"Yeah!" I said, "That's the spirit!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do so many recovering alcoholics dine at Japanese restaurants?

Best place to get Soba.

A recovering alcoholic asked me if I wanted to hear a joke...

I said "Nah man, I don't do the dry humor."

I’m currently in a recovering alcoholics program in North Carolina.

But to keep it short, I just tell people I’m in the NCAA.

Why do children of recovering alcoholics have such big family reunions?

They have twelve-step-parents.

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take"

is terrible advice for a recovering alcoholic.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar.

He walks up to a bartender and tells her he is a recovering alcoholic and needs a beer as soon as possible.

Bartender: Are you really in recovery? Because you just ordered a beer, friend.

Man: Of course I'm recovering. I just walked into a metal fucking bar.

After a long day at a conference a group of weary professionals met up at a famous bar.

After much discussion of the awesome array of gins, vodkas, whiskeys, wines, imported beers and ales, everybody ordered alcohol except for one guy. He ordered a cup of coffee.

One of his companions asked him "no offense, but why aren't you drinking?" The coffee drinker said, "I'm a recover...

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