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Alcohol Abuse Jokes

An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night. The man replies, "I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."

The officer then asks, "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?"
The man replies, "That would be my wife."

Worldwide, millions die from alcohol abuse each year....

Its truly a horrible ginocide.

My wife says I have a problem with alcohol abuse.

I politely told her I don't. I managed to stay calm and kiss her goodnight even though I was getting so angry.

When she went to bed I punched my bottle of Jack Daniels.

New study shows procrastination is as harmful to mental health as alcohol abuse

To combat this, I've decided to form Procrastinators anonymous, please consider joining it!

Where did the drunk owl end up?

Owlcoholics Hoooononymous.

Ironically my ex-wife ended up in rehab for alcohol abuse less than a month after coming up with and telling her this joke.

Beer battered fish is just so tragic.

That's alcohol abuse!

Why the chicken cross the road?

It all started when his family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out.


After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night ...

Mandatory Attendance

A drunkard walking on the street, is approached by the police at 3:00 AM.


The policeman asks: "Where are you going at this hour?"


The drunkard answers:
"I am going to attend a conference on alcohol abuse and the lethal effects on the body, the bad example it creates on chi...

An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman are sentenced to 20yrs solitary confinement.

The judge allows each to choose something to take with them.

-The Englishman takes 20 women with him.

-The Scotsman takes 20 years worth of whiskey.

-The Irishman takes 20 years worth of cigarettes.

After 20 long years they are all released from solitary.

When the...

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