Rainy Day Jokes

I thought it was crazy. I should've left it at that. But I'm a sucker for a good misconception… and I was due for a raise.

I waited for a nice rainy day. Not a misty day, or a drizzle. It had to be full-on rain. Inevitably, the day arrived and I requested a meeting with my boss. He listened i... read more

One day I decided to ask him how he always knew which days to hang his laundry.

"Well," he explained, "if I wake up and my wife is lying on her side, I know it's going to rain and I shouldn't hang my laundry. If I wake up and she's lying on her front, I know it's not going to rain and I shoul... read more

They like to surf the web!

Because it takes the grand total of women i made wet to -1.

Because the kids have to play inside.

Because it was pouring cats & dogs

"Nobody will find him there"
She thought as she walked.

... But what am I going to do with 500 umbrellas and 200 pairs of wellies?

Dear diary,

It's been raining for two weeks straight now. My wife is looking through the window with great longing and sadness in her eyes. If it keeps raining for another two or three days, I'm afraid I'm going to have to let her get into the house.

You don't own any umbrellas for rainy days.

It was a very rainy day and the new kindergarten teacher was helping her children wear their galoshes. It was a tiresome job involving much pushing and shoving.

Finally it was young Barry's turn. The teacher pushed and pushed and finally helped him into his galoshes.

"You know," said ... read more

those damned mosquitoes.

but at least it's trickling down for a rainy day.

One rainy day inside the coven HQ, Meredith and Wendy were arguing about who was the better witch.

"I'm the superior spellcaster", boasted Meredith. She raised her wand into the air, and conjured up a small cloud. It snowed over Wendy's head, dropping hailstones the size of marbles.

"... read more

An earthquake on a rainy day.

Both were smokers, but they arrived drenched from head to toe. Dolores noticed that Mary’s cigarette was still dry because it had a covering. Dolores said "Mary, what's that on your cigarette?" Mary responded "It's a condom. I buy them at the drugstore to keep my cigarettes dry on rainy days." D... read more

This is surprising since I thought they would have a rainy day fund.

A man walks into a bar one rainy day with 3 ducks. He places the ducks at the bar, then walks off. The bartender sees the 3 ducks sitting alone at the bar and decides to approach them. He goes up to the first duck, "hey steve, how you doing?" to which steve replies, "oh, i'm good, just been in and o... read more

One rainy day, a very religious woman was standing on her front porch watching as the river across the street started to rise up its banks. A policeman drove down the road and saw her, pulled his cruiser up her drive, and got out.

"Excuse me miss," he called over to the woman, "but the rains ... read more

A group of wives go on a bus trip.

It was a rainy day. So, while driving over a bridge, the driver lost control over the bus and the bus fell into the river.

All women died in the accident.

The next day, their husbands came to the bridge to mourn for their dead wives.

Aft... read more

Kurt Cobain dies and when he opens his eyes, he's in a big practice hall. Looking around he sees Cliff Burton tuning up, Jimi Hendrix and John Lennon warming up on microphones and adjusting their guitar straps to fit, and Jerry Garcia messing with his pedal steel guitar.
Kurt ambles over to Jerry... read more

A man and his dog walk into a bar, the man sits down, and his dog follows in suit. The bartender asks, "What can I get you?" The man orders a shot of whiskey and drinks it as soon as the glass hits the bar. "That'll be $3.50." the bartender says promptly. "What if I told you that my dog is able to t... read more