Punch Line Jokes - 66 Hilarious Punch Line Jokes

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Punch line first

Years ago this radio station was having a contest about the best punch line.
Everyone was calling in telling a jokes punchline first and whoever had the best punchline won a prize and got to tell their joke on the air.

So all these random punchlines where called in about the rabbi said t...

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A women got a wooden breast implant yesterday.... it would be a funny joke if this had a punch line...

Wooden tit

You put the punch line in the title

How do you ruin a good joke on Reddit?

However, he can't, because the punch line is out of order.

A man at a party wants to grab some punch, so he walks to the punch line.

A guy and a girl are going to prom together.

She wants a new dress, so they spend time shopping for the dress and he stands in line for the checkout for a very long time, but eventually makes it to the counter to buy the dress for her.

She also asks for a corsage, so the guy goes to the floral shop to buy her a corsage. The line is ver...

Socrates: Define, for me, a punch line.

Hippias: A punch line is at the end of a joke.

Socrates: Is it a punch line simply by virtue of being at the end of the said joke?

Hippias: No, it must be an unexpected statement.

Socrates: Ah, but if you know that the punch line is about to arrive, how can it be unexpected?
...

Humorists of Reddit! I challenge your joke inventing skills! First comment gives the punch line; the reply is the rest of the joke!

edit: Thanks guys for some hilarious jokes! Keep 'em coming. I wanted to let you know that I've messaged the mods about this thread. Maybe it could be a weekly thread? Who knows.

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This is a joke I wrote myself. It’s long, but I think it’s pretty good, personally…

This is a story about three friends who had known each other their whole lives.

They did everything together. You could not find one without the other two nearby. But, as so often happens, after graduation, they all went their separate ways. One of the friends went on to become a very success...

Do you wanna hear a joke about Jim Jones?

Oh, never mind. The punch line is too long.

Guy walks into a bar and orders a fruit punch.

Bartender says "Pal, if you want a punch you'll have to stand in line" Guy looks around, but there is no punch line.

Many years ago I went to my High School prom

It was a very involved process.

Leading up to the prom I had to stand in line to get fitted for my tuxedo.

I had to stand in line to reserve the limo for my date.

Then I had to stand in line again to pick my tux up once it was ready.

The day of the prom finally arrived, b...

but wheres the punch line?

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually get...

At a bar, my friend made a remarkable shot in pool, and I asked how he did it.

He said, "When I am about to take a shot, it's like magic, I can just see the line where I need to shoot."

Then he threw a dart and got a bullseye on the first throw and I asked how he could aim the dart so well.

He said, "When I am about to throw a dart, it's like magic, I can just se...

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A rapist and con artist get caught by the sheriff in a small town.

The town doesn’t have much money to take care of prisoners so the sheriff gets an idea. He decides he’ll charge money to let the townspeople punish the crooks and use the money to keep them in jail for as long as he can. The sheriff figures even a short stay in jail will be plenty after a little “ju...

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A Marine returns from duty in Iraq and is immediately reassigned to a remote location in Afghanistan

That evening he arrives at his new post; a run down mosque in the middle of nowhere.

As he switches over with the marine currently stationed there, he realises there is no bed, no clean water, no toilet, just him, his weapon and the dirt on the floor.

The next morning he wakes up to fi...

I’ve been wondering why it is called a punch line towards the end of jokes...

And then it hit me

You say the punch line first.

Whats the best way to ruin a joke?

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Punch lines

This is my campaign to reduce re-posting. I'm going to spoil as many often-reposted jokes as I can by posting the punch lines here. Please feel free to help me out.

Ha! I'm the bus driver!

I already have a cat.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day...

Punch lines are extremely one-dimensional

Punch areas and punch volumes have more depth.

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Not russian to the punch line on this one.

Three friends, Vick, Tom, and John, are having a discussion on ancestry.

Vick says, "I just found out my great great grandfather was part of a Democratic party in Russia in the early 1900s, and helped form an alliance with the Jewish Bund."

Tom says, "Bolshevik?"

Vick replies, "...

A boy wants to ask a girl to prom, and he really likes her so he goes all out...

He goes to the florist to buy some flowers, but the line is out the door. He thinks, "that's okay, she's worth it," and waits an hour in the flower line.

Next he goes to the candy store to get some really nice chocolates and again, the line is absurdly long. Again he thinks, "that's okay, I'...

I was using Spotify and they have this killer punch line:

Congratulations,

you just discovered a premium feature. Pay to see more!

No one delivers a punch line like Will Smith.

No one receives a punch like Chris Rock.

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It's three days before prom, and Billy realizes he still hasn't gotten his tux yet...

It's three days before prom, and Billy realizes he still hasn't gotten his tux yet. So, he goes all the way downtown to the tux store and when he opens the door there's a huge long tux line. Apparently everyone in town waited until the last possible minute to rent a tux, which shouldn't be that surp...

Two guys stumble out of the bar and want to fight.

One draws a line in the dirt and says, "If you cross this line, I'm gonna punch you!"

That was the punch line.

The beverage factory

Steve just got a job at the beverage factory and is getting a tour from the manager on his first day. The manager spends this time explaining the different assembly lines.

"Over here," the manager says, "is the lemonade assembly line. we take the product, package it up and prepare it to ship....

[Not a joke] I'm looking for a joke with the punch line 'cha potatoes'

My mom heard a joke years ago from a coworker with the punch line 'cha potatoes'. Basically meaning 'duh'. She used to say it to me growing up and I thought it was a thing people say but my husband informed me it's most definitely not. I told my mom this and she told me it's from an old joke about a...

What punch line is sure to get upvotes no matter how many times it gets posted?

"I don't know I just fly the drone"

I can't write jokes, but a friend of mine gave me a foolproof formula. He said "Start with a natural set-up, lead the audience in one direction, then hit them with a punch line they weren't expecting."

So here goes:

Walk forwards.

Turn left.

Pasteurization.

I read the punch line first so I don't waste time on jokes I already know

I know I'm not the only one who does this.

Some of these jokes ought to have their own subreddits.

A group of trapped miners is finally freed after 188 days trapped underground. The media is all over the story, and the miners are immediately put in front of bright lights, cameras and...

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Why wouldn't you laugh at punch lines in a circle-jerk?

You'd see them coming.

Did you hear the one about the cult meet and greet?

The punch line is a killer.

a german bar opened in our neighborhood

i'm a curious guy so i get in

i ask the bartender: "can i get a glass of punch?"

he says: "sir, we are german, we are efficient and practical, there's a line for each beverage"

i look over and what do you know, i see a queue for each drink!

there's a long line just for wh...

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My mum’s sister always builds up jokes and then the punch lines turn out to be shit.

Aunty Climax.

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When the punch line becomes apparent.

So I was going to take this girl to prom...

But she had all these prerequisites to bringing her, she was very needy.

She wanted me to buy her dress, flowers, a necklace, a limo, ect...

I go to the store for her dress and of course there's a huge line, I'm waiting forever but I finally get the dress.

I make my way to the ...

What do men with erectile dysfunction and the punch line of an anti-joke have in common?

They never come

A boy is going to buy tickets to prom...

...for him and his girlfriend. The line for the tickets is very long, but he waits it out. He then goes to rent a limousine and again there was a long line and again he waited it out. He needs one more thing, a tuxedo. So he goes to buy one and there's a long line, but he waits this one out too....

I tried to tell a homeless person a knock knock joke...

Punch line unnecessary.

Prom

Prom was approaching at Central High School, and Doug needed a date. He got the nerve up to ask a popular and pretty girl, Susan, to prom. To his surprise, she said "yes." He was so excited, he went to a tuxedo shop that day to secure his rental. There was a very long line, as many other boys were r...

a guy goes to a party...

He has fun and goes to the photo booth, and there's no photo line.

Then he goes to the bathroom, and there's no bathroom line

Then he goes to get snacks and there's no snack line

Then he goes to get punch and there's no punch line

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I pissed off some people and they started taking turns to punch me in the face...

That's it. That's the punch line.

Humorists of Reddit! I challenge your joke inventing skills! First comment gives the punch line; the reply is the rest of the joke! (repost from 3 months ago)

posted 3 months ago by someone whom I honestly can't remember, but it was indeed a good time for all.

*example*

Comment: To get to the other side

Reply: Why did the chicken peck away at the apple?

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One time I was at a party and noticed a large group of people patiently waiting their turn to fill their cups with some sort of fruit juice cocktail. Gesturing towards the gathering, I asked one of them "What is this?"

"This is the punch line"

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A masochist and a sadist once married..

They did not know what the other person was and like every happy married life, they did not talk about each other's feelings. The sadist hit the masochist in bed every night and the masochist cried out in happiness that his wife could cater to his needs without him asking for it. The marriage worked...

There was a party one day and Slow Bill was invited...

Slow Bill was quite a slow thinker, so he started walking around.

He saw some people dancing while others waited and asked what this was.

"Slow Bill, that's the dance line." Said another guest.

He kept walking and saw people waiting to grab something off the table, and asked aga...

What do you call a procrastinating comedian?

Uhh I don't know, I'll come up with the punch line later

Trump jokes trump all the time

Trump is visiting a class in an elementary school where they are talking about words and meanings. The teacher asks Trump if he would like to lead the class in a discussion of the word “tragedy”. (No, not the punch line yet)

Trump agrees to then asks the class for an example of a tragedy. One...

A young boy finally works up the courage to ask a girl to prom...

She says yes, to his surprise and he starts to prepare to make the night as memorable as he can for the both of them.

First, he decides he needs to rent a tuxedo. He finds a local shop that does rentals, since he doesn't want to buy one. The line at the clothing store is almost out the door....

The Palmist

A middle-aged man, divorced three times, finds himself at a village fair in a remote part of the country, and sees a sign "palms read - serious customers only". He goes into the tent and there's an old woman with a headscarf and massive hoop earrings and an eye patch. She asks for money and takes th...

Me and my buddies go-to joke.

A high school senior is in a rush to get everything he needs ready for his high school prom the next day. First thing he needs to get is a tuxedo. He goes to the tux shop and there's a huge line. So he waits in the line, gets his tux, and goes on his way. The next thing he needs are flowers for his ...

A man and his wife go golfing

A man and his wife go golfing, and on the 8th hole he shanks the ball into a nearby barn. "Darn it," he says, "I'll have to take a penalty on that ball."

"No you don't," his wife says. "If I stand here and hold the barn door open, you should be able to get to the green in two."

So she ...

What do The Titanic and The 6th Sense have in common?

Icy dead people

Why do thirsty people tell jokes?

To get to the punch line

A sports store is showing off their new punching bags by having a contest to see who can hit them the hardest.

While everyone is waiting for their turn, St. Peter turns to a drunk and says, "I think I'm in the wrong joke."

The drunk replies, "Nope. Just the wrong punch line."

Fake out clean jokes

Some of my favorite jokes are ones where the set-up sounds like it's going to be offensive, but the punch line takes it back to clean town. My top 3 examples:

I like my email passwords like I like my ladies... Same one for the last 10 years.

If it wasn't for the Arabs, we'd have never ...

When I was in high school, I had a crush on a girl, so I asked her to the prom. She said yes.

I wanted to impress her and make her feel special, so I went to the Limosine rental place. But because it was prom season, the Limosine rental place was really busy, so the limo line was long. But I waited and waited, and eventually I booked the limo.

Next, I wanted a suit. Suits look classy....

A kid is getting ready for prom.

He goes to a boutique to buy a suit, and after he finds one he likes, he realizes that the line is very long. He really likes the suit, though, so he waits for a while and then leaves with his purchase. Next, he goes to a flower shop to get his date a bouquet, and the line there is very long as well...

Imagine this, you’re in a queue to be hit in the face

That’s the punch line

Pannetone joke (help!)

Does anyone remember the pannetone joke where the punch line is a play on the word where it’s said as “(throw a) pan at Tony”?

I’ve tried to find it on Google but all that comes up is stuff about the Sopranos.

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One day, a red fruit loop looked at himself in the mirror and said, "I need to become an orange fruit loop."

It was a daunting task. But after working out for two hours a day, with five-gram weights, and getting a degree in economics, *wa-zaam!* he was an orange fruit loop. But he was still hungry.

Again Looking at himself in the mirror, he said, "I need to become a yellow fruit loop." It was a d...

I went to a joke party last night

Too many people were there; I couldn't even reach the punch line.

A boy asks a girl to prom

On the big day of the dance, the boy has to make a few stops before he picks up his date.

The first stop is the tuxedo store. When he gets there, there is a huge line of patrons ahead of him. He waited patiently and finally was able to pick up his tux.

The next stop was the florist t...

Work got cancelled for two weeks, so I go to the grocery store on the way home.

I’ve seen all the news, lots of Facebook pictures of empty shelves, but I was not prepared for this madness. There’s a line of like five people by the frozen goods aisle, trying to get pizza.

So I decide to go get some ramen. I know it’s not the best, but it keeps forever and I’ve been perfec...

[Walks into a bar] A man walks into a bar..

And notices a large, single file line. He figures it's just the line to get a drink and gets in it without question. Half an

hour passes and the man finally gets the the front of the line. He starts to order his favorite drink when all of a

sudden the bartender interrupts him by punc...

So this young chap had always fancied this girl

All though high school he had admired her from afar. But never had the courage to ask her out.

Come the Prom he thinks to himself, if he doesn't ask now, it's never going to happen. So straightening his jacket, slicking back his hair, he puts his heart in his hands goes up to her and asks;...

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