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Flammable Jokes

Teacher : “Alright who can name a flammable material?”

Jewish Kid : “ME! ME! ME!”

Teacher : “Okay what else?”

A teacher asked what the most flammable thing is

A Jewish kid said oh me me me while raising his hand

The teacher said good what else

What do you call flammable gel that's made from horse hands?

Neighpalm

I found this short, thin stick covered with flammable chemical at one end.

I rubbed it firmly against a rough surface. Suddenly I felt completeness and purpose in life. All the negative feelings such as bitterness and hate melted away. I started to see divine beauty around me and I was able to forgive everything. My mind was still. As I looked around me, I noticed there wa...

The fact that flammable and inflammable mean the same thing is concerning...

And disconcerning.

'Non-Flammable' says one thing to me. . .

Challenge!!

How does a pyromaniac react when they get flammable Coco cola for Christmas?

He's soda lighted!

What do you call a sacred, flammable piece of wood?

A match made in Heaven.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A commander was fighting a barbarian horde

He created a trap of flammable liquid, which set fire to the enemy cavalry, which promptly retreated towards their fort.

The commander promptly went after them with his own elite cavalry, armour shining in the evening sun.

As the burning horsemen stormed in through the gate, the guards...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Stinky farts are just like somehow putting a silencer on a bazooka...

Silent-butt, deadly and extremely explosive.









sometimes flammable too

A New Metal has been added to Chemistry

Name: Woman
Symbol: Wm
Atomic mass: Light when first found... tends to get heavier with time.


**PHYSICAL PROPERTIES**

- Boils at any time
- Can freeze at any time
- Melts if treated with love
- Very Bitter if Mishandled


**CHEMICAL PROPERTIES** ...

Children must be really dangerous...

Most of the flammable stuff I own tells me to KEEP AWAY from them!

President Donald Trump walks back three previous statements.

On Russian hacking:

"I said that I could care less and I meant to say that I couldn't care less."


On Sec of State Hillary Clinton:

"Instead of, 'dowsing Hillary with flammable liquid', I meant to say, 'inflammable liquid'."


And on pulling out of Syria:

"I n...

A joke from George Carlin,tucked away because of 9/11

The most striking thing about the show is that Carlin made a joke about Osama bin Laden and an exploding airplane. In a fashion typical of the comedian, who always passed easily between the corporeal and the sublime, it started as a fart joke. “These planes get flying so fast that all the most vicio...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When I was 10

Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down? Tough sumb...

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