"I think solitary confinement is a luxury," said my friend, "don't you?"

"You're on your own there," I replied.

Did you hear about the cheesemaker who got sent to maximum security prison?

He's being kept in solid-dairy confinement.

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman are each locked away for a year in solitary confinement.

Before they are thrown in, they are each allowed to request a year's supply of whatever he wants to help them through the hard time.

The Scotsman asks for whisky, so he gets some and he's locked away.

The Irishman asks for a fix of Guinness, so several hundred bottles are thrown in. ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Drunk private with a wheelbarrow

Sergeant: So as I understand it, private, yesterday after curfew, you were caught arriving from a night out, piss-drunk, with a fucking wheelbarrow?!

Private: Yes, sir that is correct but I think-

Sergeant: I'm thinking 10 days solitary confinement! This is absolutely unacceptable beha...

An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman are sentenced to 20yrs solitary confinement.

The judge allows each to choose something to take with them.

-The Englishman takes 20 women with him.

-The Scotsman takes 20 years worth of whiskey.

-The Irishman takes 20 years worth of cigarettes.

After 20 long years they are all released from solitary.

When the...

3 guys are sentenced to 10 years in solitary confinement...

The warden says that each guy is allowed to bring one object into the tiny cell with them to help them withstand their punishment.

The first guy asks for a Bible. The second guy asks for a medical encyclopedia. The third guy asks for a 12-carton case of cigarettes.

At the end of th...

What is it called to be stuck in a card game

Solitairey confinement

An Irish man frees a genie

and happy to be released from his confinement, the genie grants him 3 wishes.

The Irishman thinks about it, and says "I want me a pint of Guinness that is never empty."

So *poof* a pint appears, filled to the rim with the rich brown drink. The man drinks it down, and when he places it...

An Englishman, Irishman & Scotsman...

An English, Scottish & Irish soldier are caught fighting as mercenaries in a foreign land.


As prisoners of war, the General sentences each to 12 months of solitary confinement, but to show he is fair, he will give them each a years supply of a luxury item of their choosing.

...

You know who the real victims of this virus are?

Ex cons, just made it out of prison to be put in solitary confinement.

I’m stuck in quarantine all alone with a deck of cards.

I guess you could say I’m in solitaire confinement.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I worked out how Coronavirus is going to kill me.

After weeks of confinement, my wife is going to club me for being a dick.

How do you turn milk into cheese?

Put it in solid dairy confinement.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Veteran Survives Torture

After many years in captivity in enemy territory, Lt. Victor Danforth returns to home to much fanfare. After his return he is interviewed by journalists on national tv.


"Lt. Victor. You were endlessly tortured by the enemy, but you held out. How did you do it?"

"I'm sure there wa...

I played cards by myself in prison...

It was solitaire confinement.

What did they do with the Crazy 8's?

They put it in Solitaire confinement.

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