Confinement Jokes - 14 Hilarious Confinement Jokes

An Irish man frees a genie

and happy to be released from his confinement, the genie grants him 3 wishes.

The Irishman thinks about it, and says "I want me a pint of Guinness that is never empty."

So *poof* a pint appears, filled to the rim with the rich brown drink. The man drinks it down, and when he places it...

"I think solitary confinement is a luxury," said my friend, "don't you?"

"You're on your own there," I replied.

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman are each locked away for a year in solitary confinement.

Before they are thrown in, they are each allowed to request a year's supply of whatever he wants to help them through the hard time.

The Scotsman asks for whisky, so he gets some and he's locked away.

The Irishman asks for a fix of Guinness, so several hundred bottles are thrown in. ...

An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman are sentenced to 20yrs solitary confinement.

The judge allows each to choose something to take with them.

-The Englishman takes 20 women with him.

-The Scotsman takes 20 years worth of whiskey.

-The Irishman takes 20 years worth of cigarettes.

After 20 long years they are all released from solitary.

When the...

3 guys are sentenced to 10 years in solitary confinement...

The warden says that each guy is allowed to bring one object into the tiny cell with them to help them withstand their punishment.

The first guy asks for a Bible. The second guy asks for a medical encyclopedia. The third guy asks for a 12-carton case of cigarettes.

At the end of th...

What was the deck of playing cards sentenced to after committing a felony?

Solitaire confinement.

Did you hear about the cheesemaker who got sent to maximum security prison?

He's being kept in solid-dairy confinement.

What is it called to be stuck in a card game

Solitairey confinement

How do you turn milk into cheese?

Put it in solid dairy confinement.

I’m stuck in quarantine all alone with a deck of cards.

I guess you could say I’m in solitaire confinement.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Drunk private with a wheelbarrow

Sergeant: So as I understand it, private, yesterday after curfew, you were caught arriving from a night out, piss-drunk, with a fucking wheelbarrow?!

Private: Yes, sir that is correct but I think-

Sergeant: I'm thinking 10 days solitary confinement! This is absolutely unacceptable beha...

You know who the real victims of this virus are?

Ex cons, just made it out of prison to be put in solitary confinement.

An Englishman, Irishman & Scotsman...

An English, Scottish & Irish soldier are caught fighting as mercenaries in a foreign land.

As prisoners of war, the General sentences each to 12 months of solitary confinement, but to show he is fair, he will give them each a years supply of a luxury item of their choosing.

...

The Big Orange Head Joke

A man walks into a bar. As he's ordering a beer, he happens to glance down towards the other end of the bar and see a man with a big orange head. As the bartender brings his beer, the man asks him, "What's with the guy with the big orange head?"

The bartender chuckles. "Yeah," he says, "That'...

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