A woman covered in pasta sauce takes a pregnancy test

Turns out she's Prego

Today at the pharmacy I saw a woman without a face mask buying a pregnancy test.

She clearly isn’t a fan of protection

A blonde takes a pregnancy test and it comes out positive...

After telling her boyfriend she cries 'How are we going to afford so many babies?'

He says 'It couldn't tell you that, how many did it say we're having?'

'98.6!'

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I bought my friend four pregnancy tests and they all came out positive, and now she crying, she asked me..

“How the fuck am I going to feed four kids”

What do a pregnancy test and hummus have in common?

They both require chickpea.

This pregnancy test I just took confirmed my worst fear.

I'm just fat.

"I just urinated on a pregnancy test," said my girlfriend. "I'm pregnant."

"Are you going to keep it?" I asked.

She said, "No, it stinks like wee."

I was a bit worried so I took a pregnancy test

My mom will be proud, this is my first time passing a test!

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How do Jews do a pregnancy test?

The woman spreads her legs and the man throws a penny between them - if a hand darts out to snatch it up then it's a positive

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A woman rings the surgery to ask about a pregnancy test

The receptionist makes an appointment and says "Be sure to bring in a urine sample". The woman says "okay" and hangs up, then turns to her husband and says "What's a urine sample?". He looks puzzled and says "I don't know, it's not like I've ever been for a pregnancy test. But Betty next door has, w...

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Man, if I got transformed into a pregnancy test...

...I'd be pissed!

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This guy was buying a pregnancy test. I looked at him and he looked back awkwardly.

"It's not for me," he said, embarrassed. "It's for my sister."

I said, "Sick bastard. Why are you having sex with her?"

My girlfriend took a pregnancy test and it came back positive.

While she screamed and stomped around the house, kicking and hitting whatever she came into contact with, her father walked over.

With a pitiful eye, he looked at me and said, "You should have worn a condom."

I said, "I'm not the only one."

Two blondes meet, one says: "I did a pregnancy test today."

The other one: "Was it hard?"

My girlfriend said there's a line on her pregnancy test.

Pretty odd place to do cocaine if you ask me.

Why did the run-on sentence take a pregnancy test?

Because its period came too late.

PREGNANCY TEST!

Girl: Dad, what's better? to pass or to fail?

Dad: To pass obviously

Girl: OH GOOD, YOU'LL BE PROUD OF ME! I PASSED MY PREGNANCY TEST!

What's the proper punctuation for a negative pregnancy test?

A period.

You don't have to study for a pregnancy test...

but I have heard there's a lot of cramming that goes on before the exam.

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An 18 year old girl tells her mom that she has missed her last 2 periods

Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy test. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Crying, cursing and Shouting the mother says, "Who was the bastard that did this to you? I want to know!"

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later...

Blonde enters the pharmacy

\- "Do you have pregnancy test?"

\- "Yes, we do."

\- "Are questions hard?"

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David Hughes' joke

I have this app idea, it's a pregnancy test. You piss on the phone, and if the phone is covered in piss you're not allowed to have kids.

If the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything:

Stamps = Lickie Stickie

Defibrillators = Hearty Starty

Bumble Bees = Fuzzy Buzzy

Pregnancy Test = Maybe Baby

Bra = Breastie Nestie

Fork = Stabby Grabby

Socks = Feetie Heatie

Hippo = Floatie Bloatie

Nightmare = Screamy Dreamy

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer.

"My girlfriend took one of those home pregnancy tests last night and it shows that she's pregnant," he complains to the bartender. "Are you going to keep it?" the bartender asks. "I don't see the point," the guy replies. "You can only use them once."

Money makes every thing...

A girl missed her period 2 months ago,her mom
took her to the clinic for pregnancy test of which
it was positive.Embarrased, her mom said; who
is the pig that got you pregnant? The girl picked
up her phone and made a call, an hour later,a
young handsome man drove in Ferrari to the
...

A teacher has a very strange phone policy.

If a student's phone rings in class, they have to put it in speaker. The teacher believes this to be quite funny.
One day in class, one kid's phone rings. As per policy, she puts it on speaker.
The person on the other end begins. "Hello? This is your doctor. We would like to inform you that yo...

It's a cold night in Moscow, and Natasha and Sergey are getting busy in the back of Sergey's brand new Yugo.

The heat is on in more ways than one, and Natasha can tell that Sergey is getting close. She tries to stop him and ask, "Do you have protection?", but it's too late.

Two months later, Natasha is late, so she takes a pregnancy test. Sure enough, she's pregnant. In tears, she tells her parents....

What's the only positive from living in the ghetto?

Pregnancy tests

Mom always told me to be positive...

So in a way, this pregnancy test is actually her fault.

Nigel Farage gets his girlfriend pregnant..

Soon after the pregnancy test arrived as positive, he says "My fatherhood ambition has been achieved. I want my life back"

Bear Attack

An elderly man visits his doctor one day.

"I have some exciting news, Doctor!", exclaimed man, with excitement.

"What is it?", asked his doctor.

"My wife took a pregnancy test last week and, well.. we're expecting a child! Isn't it great!?"

"What!?", expressed the doct...

Two blondes talking...

"I took a pregnancy test the other day..."
"Oh dear, were the questions hard?"

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