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Precedes Jokes

What important step precedes the safe placement of C4?

B4.

Because its action precedes its cause.

Why did the tachyon cross the road?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A horse walks into the bar and the bartender asks why the long face fellow?

The horse not comprehending English precedes to shit on the floor and then leaves.

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A black man meets a white girl in a club.

They go back to the girls house and start making out. The girl says seductively "show me that its true what they say about Black Guys". The man then precedes to stab the girl take her purse and run off faster then the wind.

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Dracula walks into a bar...

He sits down and speaks to the Bartender

Dracula: May I please have a cup of hot water and a spoon?

Bartender: Wait, aren't you Dracula the vampire?

Dracula: Of course I am. I can see that my reputation precedes me.

Bartender: But, if you a vampire why do you want hot wat...

Grandpa's joke last night.

Two heavy set women are talking by the bar.
The bartender says "You ladies have a lovely accent. Are you from Scotland?" One of them women goes "No, Wales."
The bartender replied "Are you whales from Scotland?"

Then grandpa precedes to explain the joke about them being whales. We were...

Walking on Water

It's the second resurection of Christ. Before the world ends he wants 
to take in some fishing. So he gets his friend Moses and they head up 
to Minnesota to fish. They are about to rent a canoe when Moses says:
"Jesus, can't you still walk on water? Why not just walk out there?"
So Jesu...

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Mother Teresa goes to Heaven

Mother Teresa dies and is greeted at the pearly gates by St. Peter. He says, "Welcome my dear. We have a party all set up to welcome you."

"Well, thank you St Peter. But I would really like to see Hell. I've spent my entire life with a fear of Hell and I would like to know what I was afra...

Two men are standing in line at a bakery when an old man joins them.

There's a cute young woman behind the counter when the first man tells her his order.

'I'll have a loaf of sour dough and how about some raisin bread.'

At this point the second man in line looks back at the old man and tells him to watch. The old man then sees the lady behind the count...

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