UPJOKE
dangeranxietymistrustinstabilityunresthardshipvulnerabilityuncertaintyturmoilstrifehopelessnessviolencepovertytensionshortages

I used to work as an insecurity guard.

But I don't think I was very good at it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A carpenter, commits suicide over penis insecurity...

Always measured twice and cut once

The bouncer that I hired won't stop asking me if "I'm mad at him"

I think I accidentally hired an "Insecurity Guard"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm glad I never had an insecurity about the size of my penis.

That one would have been hard to shake.

A joke my grandfather told me about insecurity

Never mind, it's stupid

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There once was a man with an extremely high-pitched voice

(For retelling, ^(superscript) is high-pitched/falsetto voice)

He had since long passed puberty, but while his friends got deep, manly voices, his remained so high that he ^(spoke like this). Ever since then, it had been a tremendous source of insecurity. Now, he was in his thirties, and he r...

woman decides to get cosmetic surgery

She gets a face lift, a nose job and implants.


She was feeling a bit insecure about it after so on her first day out she goes to a restaurant. She asks the man behind the register what he thinks her age is. He guesses early 30s and she is delighted and says I am 43.


S...

A fat old man looks at himself in the mirror.

His insecurity rises. He’s not the same man he once was. He’s an old chunk of coal. Why, in high school he was a major athlete- the football type. All the girls wanted him and everyone respected him. He was a hunk. As he stared into this mirror now a some odd fifty years later- the juxtaposition of ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A prostitute has a problem...

There once was a very prolific prostitute. She serviced many a John and a Jane over her career.

Her biggest insecurity was always the way her vagina looked. She had rather large pussy lips (labia minora). Occasionally, she would be rejected by a client because of the way her lady bits looked...

Trump's presidency is historic...

He's the first president to ever be more concerned about personal insecurity than he is about national security.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.