Passport? What Passport?

Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 92, arrived in Paris by plane with his son.

At French customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on.

"You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically.

Mr. Whiting admitted that he ...

People who process expired passports are so lazy

they’re always cutting corners.

(Joel Dommett)

Everyone gets what they want out of brexit

The Brits get their blue passports and the average iq of the European Union goes up by 10 points.

How did the captain of the u-boat announce to his crew that there were no more passports to go around?

This sub has officially run out of IDs.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A plane is in the middle of turbulence

The flight attendant comes to the main cabin and says: "Everyone please take your passports out."

Everyone takes their passports out.

"Now please find the page where your picture is and rip the page out."

Everyone rips the page out.

"Now roll up the paper and shove it up ...

German spies during world war two.

So my dad told me it a few years back and I still like it.
That's how it goes:

During world war II the Germans trained these super duper mega ultra spies.
They could speak fluent English, fluent French and fluent Russian.
Knew the history of every said enemy country.
Knew how t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Word spread quickly that a meat shipment was inbound from Moscow, in the Russian Soviet Federated Socialist Republic.

Sure enough, in the early hours of Monday morning the line outside State Food Store no. 46 was already over two hundred people long, many whispering excitedly about poultry and sausages, despite the dark, bitterly cold morning. After hours of waiting, and still before sunrise, the Commissar came out...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Polish Joke: Translated

A novice pilot was flying over the Pacific when he was overcome with terror, and called the stewardess into his cabin.

\- Honey, in about 5 minutes we're going to crash and nothing I'm able to do to change the situation. Try, in a gentle way, to explain to the passengers.

The flight at...

an old Russian man wants to visit a friend in germany

an old Russian man remembers a good friend he had in east Germany, and he decides he should go check up. He doesn't have enough money for a plane, however, so he decides he will drive. The next morning he and his wife get into their car and start driving. Several hours go by on the empty road and af...

Three turtles were going to the airport...

after 10 years they arrived at the airport but the found that they forgot to get their passports.So, they chose one of them to go back to get the passports. The chosen turtle agreed but if only they don't drink from the Soda bottle they have and they agreed.
Year after year passed and the turtle ...

Du Hast

German heavy metal band Rammstein travels to Poland for the next stop on their international tour. As the airport official goes through their passports and checks them in, she asks, "Occupation?"

The singer replies, "No, no. Were just here to perform a show. We'll be gone by tomorrow morning....

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