UPJOKE
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This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

New Lover

A man got married to a hot (unknown to him, vampire) woman and took her out for dinner. The next day she was very ill and complained of chest pains, then she vomited fire and the bathroom burned down.

"What did you feed her" asked his friend.

He said that his dish was garlic shrimp. He...

What's the difference between kung pao and the coronavirus?

One's Chinese take out, the other takes out Chinese.

What's the fastest way to become a Millionaire?

Be a Billionaire and invade Ukraine.



>NK Lukoil PAO
>
>6.96 USD
>
>\-84.96 (-92.43%)past month

What did the reddit user say to the CEO of reddit Ellen Pao

[This Post was Removed]

A joke most likely to get me banned by Ellen Pao

So, a man walks into a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table.

He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!"

The flattered woman replies, "You really think so?"

The guy says, "Oh of course! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

A clearly exhausted Pao walks into a pub and orders a drink....

The bartender asks "long day?"

"No, all days are 24 hours long" Pao replies, amazed at how uneducated the bartender is.

Jet Fuel can't melt Ellen Pao

[User was banned for this post]

Ellen Pao is actually right and we should respect her decisions

^jk ^lol

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

I'm not saying Ellen Pao is Hitler but..

I haven't seen the two of them in the same room..

What's the difference between Ellen Pao and Kim Jong Un?

Kim Jong Un has control over his country.

What do you call it when a guy gets shot delivering Kung pao chicken?

Murder on the orient express

How is Ellen Pao so good at driving Reddit into the ground?

I thought Asian women couldn't drive ಠ_ಠ

How many Ellen Paos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. The mods do that for her.

Difference between Ellen Pao and Kim Jong-un.

One is tyrannical and ruthless dictator, who destroys each and every opposition and other is supreme leader of North Korea.

Ellen Pao walks into [this content violates our ban on anti-reddit propoganda policy and his thus been banned ]

*Admin Note:*

*The next user to make a joke about our glorious leader Ellen Pao shall be banned along with the offending subreddit.*

*Signed:*

*Grand Vizier Hippo Hamburger*

What's Pao's favorite Chinese dish?

Infant children.

I'd sit on Ellen Pao's face...

... Just so I wouldn't have to look at it.

Why would Ellen Pao not do her own AMA?

General Pao's chicken.

Why does Ellen Pao play so much tennis?

Its the only place she can get love.

Did you hear about the food fight at the local Chinese Restaurant?

Everybody was Kung Pao Fighting!

With everything going on at reddit you would think that Pao would at least regreddit

:)

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Chris Pratt, Jesus, and Hitler are sitting in a bar...

Jesus, Chris Pratt, and Hitler are sitting at a bar drinkin' a few brews.

Jesus says, "Hey we should all try and get in the Guinness Book of World Records!"

To which Chris Pratt replies, "Yeah, I bet I could get in it for most loved person in history."

Jesus then says, "and I be...

Pao's reddit password leaked

ๅๅๅๅๅๅ123

A cow and a cat are chatting in a field...

...and ultimately don't quite come to agreement on the topic of discussion.

The cat walks off smarmily and says, "Well, see you later, prime rib."

And the cow replies, "Yep, see you later, Kung Pao Chicken."

What is reddits least favorite dish?

Kung Pao Chicken

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Why Victoria Got Fired

Victoria calls in to work and says, "Hey, boss I can't come to work today. I'm really sick. I have a headache, stomachache and my legs hurt. I can not come to work."

Pao says, "You know Victoria, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my husband and tell him to give me sex. Ma...

The gun that killed Reddit

Went **Pao Pao Pao**

You guys wanna hear a joke?

Ellen Pao

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A Chinese couple on their wedding night...

...were getting ready to consummate the marriage. As virgins, the man and the woman start talking about what they want to do.

"Honey, what would you like to try... I'll do anything that you might enjoy", says the husband.

"I'm not really sure", says the wife shyly, "but my friends...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

What's the difference between Reddit's CEO and Hitler?

There's no "L" in Pao.

What does apathy sound like?

I'm Ellen Pao, AMA

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