Sturgeon Jokes - 19 Hilarious Sturgeon Jokes

Sturgeon General's Warning:

Eating caviar is injurious to health.

Three Finns are out fishing on lake Päijänne

One of them catches a large sturgeon but as he pulls the sturgeon on board their little rowing boat it starts talking:
"Please my good men, set me free again and I will grant each of you a wish!".

The Finnish anglers agrees to release the fish and once gently back in the water, the fish as...

The Sturgeon General told me that smoking is bad for your health

Sure it may be dangerous for him but it cures the fish

what kind of fish works in a hospital?

A sturgeon

Nicola Sturgeon is being shown around an Edinburgh hospital when one of the patients sits up in bed and exclaims:

"Fair fa' your honest sonsie face, great chieftain o' the pudden race!"

Before Nicola can respond, another patient responds: "Wee, sleekit, cowerin', timorous beastie! O what a panic's in thy breastie!"

while a third one chimes in with "Some hae meat and cannae eat, and some wad eat th...

A man is obsessed with reeling in a big fish... A man is obsessed with reeling in a big fish, so much so that he eventually buys a huge, synthetic sturgeon and hangs it on the wall above his fireplace.

Eventually, however, looking at the fake trophy makes the man feel like a fraud, and he can't stand it.

One day, he makes a final attempt at fishing up something impressive. Finally, after hours of waiting, he reels in a record-breaking chub, one that weighs more than any other in recorded hi...

Have you heard Madonna’s new song about having to swim against a constant tide of age discrimination?

It’s called “Like a Sturgeon”

What happens when you get mixed up in an undersea gang war?

You get a crab wound.

So you go the police but they clam't help you.

Eventually you end up at the hospital and they tell you you'll need a sturgeon.

Then you murder everyone because you are so god damn tired of their undersea puns.

What do you call a fish that provides woodland services, primarily pruning and treatments to preserve old or damaged trees.

A tree sturgeon

What is the funniest fish?

A piranha-ha-ha.

In fact, it hurt itself laughing so hard, it had to see a sturgeon.

What do you call a Beluga that makes people look better?

A plastic sturgeon

What Doctor do Fish go to?

Sturgeons.

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An American politician and a Russian politician are having dinner

They are eating at the American politician's house in suburban Virginia. A 6 bedroom house with a 2 Mercedes Benz at the front. And a 500 square foot garden.

The Russian politician remarked how nice his house was and how he was able to afford it.

The American politician said: "see that...

What do you call a fish that performs surgery in freshwater?

Lake sturgeon.

What type of fish can perform a liver transplant?

A sturgeon.

With the threat of the new coralvirus, who did the fish put in charge of finding a cure?

The Sturgeon General

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Fishing is a great way to recuperate.

Whenever you’re feeling bluegill or like nobody gives a crappie. Or if you’ve fallen on your bass and you’re sturgeon for the truth. Don’t ever trout that cod will be there for you.

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Guess how old I am?

In this small retirement home, there was an old lady who just turned 68 years old. She decided to go visit the other dorms so that the residents could wish her a happy birthday.

The first room she goes to there was another old lady drinking tea. "It's my birthday!" said the birthday lady. "Wi...

Earlier today I saw a fish in a hospital waiting room going up to people and giving them medical advice.

I said "Oi fish, stop that, what do you think you're doing?!"

He said "Don't worry about it, it's ok... I'm the Sturgeon General".

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