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Oars Jokes

What do you call a chicken in a dinghy full of tomato sauce, using carrots for oars, chasing a British Conservative fleeing Brexit?

Chicken Cacciatore

Imagine if oars could swim?

Wouldn't that be oar-swam?

I'm so sorry...

A man was out on a fishing trip

When suddenly, he dropped one of his oars into the water, frustrated that he couldn't get the boat moving, he decided to seek help.

He saw someone with two beautiful women on his boat who also had a spare oar. "Excuse me, may I borrow one of your oars?" he yelled.
The man appeared offended...

Soon after the General retired..., he decided he must do something different...

He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank...!

*He soon found himself on an island with no flagstaff, no batmen, no ADC, no club, no canteen, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.*

After about four months,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My brother-in-law and I were fishing

Not having any luck when he told me to row faster. I rowed and rowed when all of a sudden both oars snapped right in half.

Stranded my brother-in-law said, "What now dipshit?"

"Don't worry. Somebody is going to come by." I answered.

Just then around a corner came an Englishman ...

Two blondes are

Driving along a highway when they see out the window in the middle of a field another blonde in a rowboat pulling energetically on the oars.
The first blonde turns to the other and says, "You know what its blondes like that that give us a bad name."
The second blonde responds, "I know right, i...

Michigan has updated their social distancing guidelines

Residents are now asked to stay one oars-length away from one another.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jesus & Moses in a boat

so jesus and moses were rowing a boat fishing for supper and after no action Jesus was getting bored and he was like 'hey moishe, moishe--check it out, you think i can still walk on water? you think i still have it? how much you wanna bet i can still walk on water?' Moses says 'i'll take any bet you...

I was rowing down the creek with some friends last week, and I thought:

"Oars would be better!"

Why did the astronomer use two hams to row his boat?

He liked meaty oars.

So, a guy's fishing on a boat..

..after fishing all day he runs out of gas. After sitting on the water stranded for hours, another boat pulls alongside and offers help. Desperate for help, the stranded fisherman asks "Hey can I borrow them two oars?!?" The man quickly responds "Them ain't oars, that's my mother and my sister"

Jesus Christ, Chuck Norris and an Irishman were on a boat

Jesus Christ, Chuck Norris and an Irishman were on a boat. They had to get to land, but had no oars.

Jesus starts walking across the water, and finally makes it safely to the other side.

Chuck joins Jesus, and walks safely across too.

The Irishman thought, if they can d...

Dad's favorite ship joke.

A ship's quartermaster descends into the galley to address the rowers. "I have good news," he said. "Today, all of your food and alcohol rations have been doubled." As he said this, a cheer went up from the slaves and they eagerly grabbed at their oars.

"One more thing," he added. "The captai...

A British couple are on a cruise ship. It sinks, and they're the only survivors left, managing to get on a boat

They can spot land not far off. They try as hard as they can to use the oars, but they won't budge.


The wife has an idea, she calls her husband useless and incompetent. The husband retorts and a huge argument begins.


The boat inches slowly towards land. The more they argue and ...

transatlantic voyage 5 dollars

A guy sees a newspaper ad that says "transatlantic voyage only five dollars". He's never been overseas so he heads down to the dock on the coast and sure enough, there's a shack with a sign "transatlantic voyage $5". He gives the attendant five bucks and is handed a pair of oars. The attendant sh...

A Blonde working in an office...

she glanced out the window and noticed a car , towing a small rowboat parking beside an empty field. She thought nothing of it and continued to work.

She looked out again towards the field and seen a blonde woman getting out of the car, removing the boat and dragging it into the field. "What ...

A blonde was driving along in the countryside

just enjoying the views and the rolling hills, when suddenly she happened upon another blonde sitting in a boat in the middle of the field, pulling the oars like her life depended.

Our hero slammed the brakes and exited her car, storming towards the boat and the still-rowing fair-haired woman...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Out to Sea

So there were these two Irish guys who decided they should go to the bar. The bar was right across the river but the nearest bridge was a few miles down the road. They agreed that they could just take a rowboat across and save time.

About the time they are crossing the river, a storm come...

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